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Barb Time-travels To Jerusalem In 33 Ad

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thehangingtree

Proconsul
Staff member
Hi, I’m Barbara Moore. I’m working on my thesis for my PhD at the University of the Virgin Martyrs based on judicial executions through the ages when I am summoned to Dean Despard Wragg III’s office. Like his grandfather Chancellor Emeritus Despard Wragg he often insists that female students present themselves nude. He claims if a woman has nothing to hide she can be most honest and even had a peer-reviewed article published in JAMA (Journal of the American Medical Association) that backed him up.

Editor’s note: Despard Wragg III peers are cads like Tree, RR, Phelbas, Top Cat, Madiosi… need I go on???

Damnit I’ve worked too hard for this doctorate and comply with the lecherous bastard’s demands. Stark naked I walk into his office. It doesn’t matter I’ve no clothing; the way he looks at me he would have mentally undressed me.

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“Miss Moore, we have developed a new time machine and I want you to use it to help you with your thesis.”

“Dean Wragg, every time I time-travel it ends very badly for me” I protest.

“Nonsense, this machine is a major improvement! You see, only your mind travels. You will be perfectly safe” Dean Wragg insists.

“Where am I- my mind- going?”

“Jerusalem in the year 33 AD…”

“You want me to witness the crucifixion of Christ” I ask astonished.

“It was a judicial execution, Miss Moore” he replies.

“When does this happen?”

“Immediately! Campus security are waiting in my outer office to take you to the time machine!”

Indeed outside his office two campus policemen are waiting for me, an officer Bull and officer Gunner. I ask where my clothes are and they tell me there isn’t time for that and besides I would just have to undress when I got to the time machine. It’s obvious there is no point arguing.

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Wouldn’t you know the time machine is in the School of Science building and that is the farthest building from the dean’s office? I am escort naked across campus at lunch hour. It’s a nice day and the quad is full of students! In the hot subbasement of the science building near the boiler room is the new time machine. The damn thing looks like an electric chair. I hesitate to sit in it but with the ‘assistance’ of Bull and Gunner I am soon being strapped in.

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With my arms and legs secured they buckle a strap around my neck to prevent any upper body movement then place and tight a metal ‘cap’ to my head. In near panic I cry “This isn’t a time machine at all! It is an electric chair!”

“No it is not. It really is a time machine. The skull cap is so we can implant memory so you know where you are when you get there. It takes about an hour and your new memory won’t ‘kick in’ until you actual travel in time. We’ll see you in an hour” they say leaving me alone strapped in the chair in the dimly lit and sauna-like room.
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There is a slight buzz where the electrodes touch my scalp. In front of me is a single camera with its red eye confirming it is recording or at least someone is watching me. The way I am strapped in this damn thing I am completely exposed!

-Ms. Barbara Moore

Chancellor Emeritus Despard Wragg here… My grandson has not exactly lied to Ms. Moore but has committed an egregious error of omission. You see the four New Testaments hold Jesus was Christ but there has long been rumored that a Testament written closer to the time of Christ has Jesus married to Mary Magdalene and their daughter Barbara of Nazareth is truly the Christ that was crucified on Golgotha. If this turns out to be true Ms. Moore is time traveling to her crucifixion!

But you must admit, this could shake Christianity as we know it!!!

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Let’s not tell her…

Chancellor Emeritus Despard Wragg

Tree
 
I'm just wondering whether Bull and Gunner - maybe even Tree himself - shouldn't be time-travelling back too?
It seems very likely to me that those two were in Barabbas's gang, if Bull wasn't Barabbas in person -
and canny P Pilate would surely have engaged the services of a reputable local tradesman,
so as to avoid any more friction with the Temple!

More tortuous thought - Barabbas, Barbara... (Barbara was the freed thief in Eulalia Christa)...
Maybe the whole thing's been twisted, Jesus wasn't 33, more like 66,
and the crowd's choice was between him and his tearaway daughter,
of course they let the poor old guy walk free and demanded Barab... Barbara's dance on the cross :devil:
 
I'm just wondering whether Bull and Gunner - maybe even Tree himself - shouldn't be time-travelling back too?
It seems very likely to me that those two were in Barabbas's gang, if Bull wasn't Barabbas in person -
and canny P Pilate would surely have engaged the services of a reputable local tradesman,
so as to avoid any more friction with the Temple!

More tortuous thought - Barabbas, Barbara... (Barbara was the freed thief in Eulalia Christa)...
Maybe the whole thing's been twisted, Jesus wasn't 33, more like 66,
and the crowd's choice was between him and his tearaway daughter,
of course they let the poor old guy walk free and demanded Barab... Barbara's dance on the cross :devil:

I think Eul has been reading ahead ... more than once it would appear ... delicious plotting ideas ... taking notes Tree?
 
exe chair 030.jpg Hey wait! Not enough information! Is there a count down or something? 10-9-8-7 ... and so on? How do I know when I am traveling? How do I know when I get there? What's that tingling jolty sensation? What .... gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
 
I'm just wondering whether Bull and Gunner - maybe even Tree himself - shouldn't be time-travelling back too?
It seems very likely to me that those two were in Barabbas's gang, if Bull wasn't Barabbas in person -
and canny P Pilate would surely have engaged the services of a reputable local tradesman,
so as to avoid any more friction with the Temple!

More tortuous thought - Barabbas, Barbara... (Barbara was the freed thief in Eulalia Christa)...
Maybe the whole thing's been twisted, Jesus wasn't 33, more like 66,
and the crowd's choice was between him and his tearaway daughter,
of course they let the poor old guy walk free and demanded Barab... Barbara's dance on the cross :devil:
I think Eul has been reading ahead ... more than once it would appear ... delicious plotting ideas ... taking notes Tree?
The plot is even more diabolic than Eul imagines!!!
 
He claims if a woman has nothing to hide she can be most honest and even had a peer-reviewed article published in JAMA (Journal of the American Medical Association) that backed him up.

Editor’s note: Despard Wragg III peers are cads like Tree, RR, Phelbas, Top Cat, Madiosi… need I go on???

It was a very good paper. I had my research assistant read it to me - naked of course, so I could judge its verisimilitude.

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View attachment 448043 I have another question. Why do Deans always sit behind their big desks when they receive junior faculty members naked in their office? Are they hiding something? :rolleyes:
A desk can provide a reassuring sense of safety for a coward....:rolleyes:
 
And I thought I was screwing up Christianity by the natives interpretation of it in Stories From The Colonies, but now Tree's screwing it up even further by changing the events.

My only fear now is that everyone lives happily ever after and the whole point of this forum ceases to exist.
 
And I thought I was screwing up Christianity by the natives interpretation of it in Stories From The Colonies, but now Tree's screwing it up even further by changing the events.

My only fear now is that everyone lives happily ever after and the whole point of this forum ceases to exist.
I think the odds of everyone in the thread living happily ever after is pretty slim...
 
I think the odds of everyone in the thread living happily ever after is pretty slim...
Ever after? Maybe.

Happily? Not a prayer. :rolleyes:

Oops. Expression unsuited to the thread. :doh:
 
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