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Barb Time-travels To Jerusalem In 33 Ad

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Crucified and alone Barbara of Nazareth hangs crucified in the predawn hours Sunday morning. The four New Testament books have Jesus rising from the grave at this time but what is known as Easter Sunday Barbara is still alive and still crucified.

crux 144 B.jpg

The night was hell. First Medusa then Diana died leaving me to suffer the balance of the night alone except for two mercenaries and a Roman centurion and they stay huddled some distance off around their bonfire. The short rain let me wet my lips and throat but I still thirst and hunger gnaws at my belly. The rain combined with cool night air cramps every muscle I can still feel. I can’t feel anything in my hands or shattered feet except when I try to push up. That doesn’t happen often as I have so little strength left.

The sun rises and with the Sabbath over people come back to Golgotha to watch me suffer and perhaps soon die. There are not as many here as there were when I was crucified Friday morning but they are still quite vocal and for the most part still unsympathetic to my agony and humiliation being crucified naked before them.

ca 0078.jpg

I beg for my life to end while somewhere in my mind I plead for ‘Wragg’ to bring me back. Is this ‘Wragg’ what God is really called? I talk not chance and in barely a whisper I ask “Wragg, O Wragg, why have you forsaken me?”

It is 9 AM in Jerusalem. From the tower of Pilate’s resident a trumpet blows…

There are more Roman soldiers here this morning. From Jerusalem a trumpet blows and one of them steps before me and snarls “I guess your whore mother slept with the governor. That horn orders me to finish you.”

“My mother is not a whore” I protest the best I can as weak as I am. He holds a spear before my face. I push up with all the strength I have left. He asks if I am ready to die. I look at the brutal weapon and say “Finish me!”

c 0076.jpg

“Lass, I will but not until you suffer this” he laughs. With a fast strong thrust he skewers me just beneath my left breast. I feel the cross shake as the spear exits my back and embeds into the cross. I thought I had no more pain left to feel but now along with my wrists and feet I am pinned to the cross through my chest! I cough and blood runs from my mouth.

c 0077 a.jpg

Why am I not dead and why am I begging Wragg to take me???

The soldier is as adept with the spear as the centurion Tree that crucified Barbara of Nazareth was with spikes. Her left lung is ruined but her heart keeps pumping to fill it with her blood. It won’t be long now…

Tree
 
crux 144 B.jpg a drop of rainwater????? How about a swig of Seagram's?:p

ca 0078.jpg I think I do look good up here ;) Wonder why no one down there is wearing a yellow hat? :p

c 0076.jpg Nice try. A little lower next time, please :confused:

c 0077 a.jpg Much better, thank you! That should do it folks. May I rest in peace! :oops:

Nice writing Tree ... :)
 
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View attachment 452509 a drop of rainwater????? How about a swig of Seagram's?:p

View attachment 452510 I think I do look good up here ;) Wonder why no one down there is wearing a yellow hat? :p

View attachment 452511 Nice try. A little lower next time, please :confused:

View attachment 452512 Much better, thank you! That should do it folks. May I rest in peace! :oops:

Nice writing Tree ... :)
Thank you, Barb. Epilog to come... Dean Wragg III had some answering to do, to say the least!!!
 
Crucified and alone Barbara of Nazareth hangs crucified in the predawn hours Sunday morning. The four New Testament books have Jesus rising from the grave at this time but what is known as Easter Sunday Barbara is still alive and still crucified.

View attachment 452507

The night was hell. First Medusa then Diana died leaving me to suffer the balance of the night alone except for two mercenaries and a Roman centurion and they stay huddled some distance off around their bonfire. The short rain let me wet my lips and throat but I still thirst and hunger gnaws at my belly. The rain combined with cool night air cramps every muscle I can still feel. I can’t feel anything in my hands or shattered feet except when I try to push up. That doesn’t happen often as I have so little strength left.

The sun rises and with the Sabbath over people come back to Golgotha to watch me suffer and perhaps soon die. There are not as many here as there were when I was crucified Friday morning but they are still quite vocal and for the most part still unsympathetic to my agony and humiliation being crucified naked before them.

View attachment 452506

I beg for my life to end while somewhere in my mind I plead for ‘Wragg’ to bring me back. Is this ‘Wragg’ what God is really called? I talk not chance and in barely a whisper I ask “Wragg, O Wragg, why have you forsaken me?”

It is 9 AM in Jerusalem. From the tower of Pilate’s resident a trumpet blows…

There are more Roman soldiers here this morning. From Jerusalem a trumpet blows and one of them steps before me and snarls “I guess your whore mother slept with the governor. That horn orders me to finish you.”

“My mother is not a whore” I protest the best I can as weak as I am. He holds a spear before my face. I push up with all the strength I have left. He asks if I am ready to die. I look at the brutal weapon and say “Finish me!”

View attachment 452504

“Lass, I will but not until you suffer this” he laughs. With a fast strong thrust he skewers me just beneath my left breast. I feel the cross shake as the spear exits my back and embeds into the cross. I thought I had no more pain left to feel but now along with my wrists and feet I am pinned to the cross through my chest! I cough and blood runs from my mouth.

View attachment 452505

Why am I not dead and why am I begging Wragg to take me???

The soldier is as adept with the spear as the centurion Tree that crucified Barbara of Nazareth was with spikes. Her left lung is ruined but her heart keeps pumping to fill it with her blood. It won’t be long now…

Tree
I'm saying nothing.

But I am holding my breath... make haste, Tree, or you'll have both Barb and me on your conscience.

What's that, Ulrika? He doesn't have a conscience?

Oh shit!
 
It is just past 9 AM in Jerusalem when Barbara of Nazareth/Professor Barbara Moore is speared by the Roman soldier. As she gasps for her last breaths at the UVM in a very Blue State Dean Despard Wragg III’s executive assistant Ulrika is monitoring Barb Moore’s brain waves at 12:03 AM Easter Sunday morning. She looks at the computer and whispers “There is something very wrong here!”

computer 9.jpg

She bolts from the desk, grabs a robe and runs down the hall to here room, cursing she forgot where she left her cellphone. She dives on the bed and dials security again cussing that the damn campus has rotary phones in 2017! She barks in the handset “Get Barb Moore’s body to the time machine right now

“What? …you can’t do that without Chancellor Emeritus Despard Wragg’s direct orders? I tell you what… When I get there if she isn’t in the chair I do not need his orders to cut your balls off and feed them to you! Do I make myself clear… I thought you would see it that way!”

phone 002.jpg

I rush to the time machine and assist locking Professor Moore’s comatose body in.

exe chair 033.jpg

I see they are using small leads and scream “NO, we are going to need full power!”

exe chair 034.jpg

I don’t think she knows what is about to happen…

exe chair 035.jpg

I go to the laptop and press the ‘return’ key and Barb’s body jerks…

exe chair 036.jpg

After a few moments I shut it off… either I got her back or let her die. She lifts her head and angrily says “I want a meeting with Dean Wragg!”

exe chair 025.jpg


-Ulricka

Just the end… no epilog needed…

Tree
 
Where the hell did I put that instruction manual? :confused:
OK...Let's see...Looks pretty simple...Wait...Is that a 6 or an 8?...Or a 3?....
View attachment 452543
Hold on...I this is for the espresso machine...
View attachment 452544
teamworkdemotivator.jpg
 
exe chair 025.jpg Do I look angry! Damn right I am! You dolts! You were supposed to bring me back, not half fry me to death. Look at me! The excessive voltage made my hair change color! WTF!!! The demerits are going to fly here! Just wait till I get my hands on that Dean Wragg, and when I am finished with him I have a beef with EA Ulrika too. But the goofball that will feel the worst wrath of God Barb is that guy who went to bed without turning off the power.

my-fair-lady-28old2.jpg Just you wait, Henry Tree, just you wait!!!!

audrey-hepburn-nude-art-jorge-fernandez.jpg Unless, of course, he wants to make it all up to me? Let's see now. That would require: 1) the keys to his Mustang, 2) free use of his credit card, and 3) that he give up smoking (filthy habit ... ugh).
 
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It is just past 9 AM in Jerusalem when Barbara of Nazareth/Professor Barbara Moore is speared by the Roman soldier. As she gasps for her last breaths at the UVM in a very Blue State Dean Despard Wragg III’s executive assistant Ulrika is monitoring Barb Moore’s brain waves at 12:03 AM Easter Sunday morning. She looks at the computer and whispers “There is something very wrong here!”

View attachment 452536

She bolts from the desk, grabs a robe and runs down the hall to here room, cursing she forgot where she left her cellphone. She dives on the bed and dials security again cussing that the damn campus has rotary phones in 2017! She barks in the handset “Get Barb Moore’s body to the time machine right now

“What? …you can’t do that without Chancellor Emeritus Despard Wragg’s direct orders? I tell you what… When I get there if she isn’t in the chair I do not need his orders to cut your balls off and feed them to you! Do I make myself clear… I thought you would see it that way!”

View attachment 452542

I rush to the time machine and assist locking Professor Moore’s comatose body in.

View attachment 452538

I see they are using small leads and scream “NO, we are going to need full power!”

View attachment 452539

I don’t think she knows what is about to happen…

View attachment 452540

I go to the laptop and press the ‘return’ key and Barb’s body jerks…

View attachment 452541

After a few moments I shut it off… either I got her back or let her die. She lifts her head and angrily says “I want a meeting with Dean Wragg!”

View attachment 452537


-Ulricka

Just the end… no epilog needed…

Tree
Gasp! :)

:clapping::clapping::clapping::clapping::clapping::clapping:
 
View attachment 452562 Do I look angry! Damn right I am! You dolts! You were supposed to bring me back, not half fry me to death. Look at me! The excessive voltage made my hair change color! WTF!!! The demerits are going to fly here! Just wait till I get my hands on that Dean Wragg, and when I am finished with him I have a beef with EA Ulrika too. But the goofball that will feel the worst wrath of God Barb is that guy who went to bed without turning off the power.

View attachment 452566 Just you wait, Henry Tree, just you wait!!!!

View attachment 452569 Unless, of course, he wants to make it all up to me? Let's see now. That would require: 1) the keys to his Mustang, 2) free use of his credit card, and 3) that he give up smoking (filthy habit ... ugh).
Ulrika saves her ass from the jaws of death and she's still bitching...
 
Alternative epilogue.
Dean Wragg became Rector Magnificus in a remote university. He became illustrous for his lobbying to raise funding on research to proove unicorns are real.
Dr. Moore became Professor in Demeritology. During practice lectures, she is often heard to say 'Damn Wragg!' when she demonstrates the techniques on live volunteers, who say it extremely hurts when she does say it.
Ulrika Tree succeeded Wragg as Dean. She turned the time machine into a highly profitable instrument for the university, as historicians line up to do field research through it. The fact that from time to time someone does not return anymore from the past is taken for granted.
 
You got good 'copy', some solo shots, and you still aren't happy...

I know... we try, we bend over backwards for her, pander to her every whim...

and all we get are demerits :rolleyes:
 
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