How many will she serve?
After cooking and discarding the bones, a girl will typically give about 6-9oz of meat, or one serving portion, per pound of her live weight, but bear in mind –
· The best girls for roasting on a spit are under 100 pounds.
· The choicest bits are only a small proportion of her weight, so if you want all your guests to have at least a nibble of her breast- and/or cunt-meat for a starter, allow for only one serving per 10 pounds live weight.
· Likewise, the best steak cuts – fillets, rump, leg – account for only about half of her meat.
· Smaller girls will have a greater percentage of bone and skin and will yield proportionately fewer servings of meat.
· Younger girls have extremely gelatinous and relatively low-fat flesh that practically melts as you cook it, oozing rich, sticky, porky juices; they can be roasted alive relatively quickly.
· Older women have more fat, but their meat can begin to get drier and tougher, and are better suited for long, slow barbecuing.
So,
· A young girl with small breasts, weight 75 lbs, will make a nice meal for a family party of 6-8 people, if they all want a share of the choice bits for starters, and juicy steaks for main course.
· A typical young adult woman, with medium breasts, weight 100 lbs, would be the ideal choice for a barbecue, she’ll serve 40-50 guests.
· A mature, big-breasted woman, weight 125 lbs, will need long, slow roasting, but she’ll give tasty meat by nightfall to be shared by up to 100.
Equipment and Ingredients
If you don't have a girl-roasting pit, you can simply dig a fire-pit in your backyard and do it the old-fashioned way. Make sure you give yourself plenty of time to get the heat right. You'll need to add wood to your burning fire for a couple of hours to get the kind of hot bed of coals you'll need. While you need a hot fire to create the coals, you'll want to maintain a low roasting temperature so the girl's outer skin doesn't burn.
The best way to avoid overcooking the skin is by using a spit. A standard-size spit may work for smaller girls, but you'll need a heavy duty version for a large woman. There are two types of spit:
· The impaling spit, which is thrust through the girl’s vagina or rectum and up the length of her body to emerge through her mouth. Skillfully skewered, the girl can remain conscious and fully aware of what is happening to her for up to half an hour of live roasting, during which time the rush of adrenalin and other hormonal enzymes will strongly enhance the taste of her meat.
· The live-roasting spit, to which the girl is tied face-up or face-down; the best models have a spiked hook which is inserted into the girl’s vagina or rectum to hold her steady. Over a very slow fire, a girl can remain conscious for up to two hours of live roasting, becoming deliciously tender in the process.
You'll also need:
· Charcoal briquettes. You can use hardwood coal instead of briquettes, but it burns fast and hot, so it’s difficult to maintain the slow, even heat necessary for prolonged cooking. Plan on at least one pound of coals per pound of girl, but have an extra 25 pounds or so on hand
· A chimney starter. It's the most efficient way to light a batch of coals.
· A long set of tongs for arranging the coals underneath the girl during cooking.
· A barbecue grill with kebab skewers, and/ or a big frying-pan, will be useful to give a final sizzle to the choice bits immediately before serving.
· A carving knife, a sharp filleting knife, a long fork, a basting spoon, and a meat-cleaver.
· Salt is the only seasoning you need. The girl should have plenty of flavor on her own.
· Beer and friends. It's gonna be a long, lazy day of girl-spinning, so make sure you are amply lubricated and the company is good.