goldenruler
Magistrate
Do We Have a Choice?
Hi Melissa!
I'm here to explore my crux fantasy by seeing/collecting crux images, talk to folks that have crux fantasies similar to mine and present crux images of my own, mostly from my personal home made crux movie, probably to see what kind of reaction I get from them by others.
I'm not at all religious and I'm not her to save anyone. Not even sure anyone here needs any type of saving. I have no 'mission' whatsoever. I'm just here because I am following my curiosity.
Most of my collected images are of Christ crucified, because that is the image that set me off on my crux fantasies when I was very young and those images were most easily attainable. Once the Internet came along my searches brought up even more Christ crucifixion scenes, but also quite a bit of female crucifixion images, most of which I saw on frequent visits to the Crucified Women site. Eventually I followed the Google path to these two forum sites and joined in.
So, in my collection I have lots and lots of crucified Christ images, a load of female crucifixion images and I am finally able to build my non-Christ male crucifixion image collection where most of my interest is centered. My favorites are the PhilX images. That man is a master!
I took the name of Crocceus Tyrannus on one site which somehow translates to 'Golden Ruler' and took the name 'Golden Ruler' on the other site which roughly translates to 'Crocceus Tyrannus.' My true fictional name is Joseph Christson and in my movie I claim to be a direct blood descendant of Jesus Christ and am condemned to die as Christ did as a lesson to me and a reminder to the heresy court what he suffered.
In the movie I follow no religion but believe that man should only live by the Golden Rule, so the court mockingly calls me 'Golden Ruler' or 'Crocceus Tyrannus.' They even carry it so far as to put a sign above my cross that reads 'CTRH' which supposedly stands for 'Crocceus Tyrannus - King of the Heretics.'
So I guess I can see that at first glance my forum names might suggest I am or aspiring to be some sort of leadership person, they will find I really am not if they read into the reasoning behind using the names. It is hard enough to lead one's own life without trying to lead others.
You are right, if my ma was alive she would be amazed at the crucifixion pictures I have and probably suggest that I seek some sort of help. She would think no less of me. She wanted me to become a priest. I'm glad I didn't, mostly because of my non-religious feelings and also I would have spent the rest of my life trying to convince people that I am not a pedophile!
It is really difficult to gage what the interest is in female crucifixion or male crucifixion on these forums, because so few people actually post. I think the interest in male crucifixion might be more than most members imagine.
I like female crucifixion too, but I am very particular about the choice of female victim and exactly the way she is crucified. I like about 5% of what I see. Actually many a naked woman look pretty damn good lying in the bed next to me without having to be nailed helplessly to a cross. I've had many a wonderful romantic experiences with women throughout my life and feel that I have missed nothing by having them crucified.
I do sometimes fantasize on a certain woman I know crucified on a cross next to mine, but most of the time I imagine other men. I must have a 'two thieves crux complex.' However, most of the time I fantasize on me crucified alone by female crucifiers and in front of a female group or crowd. I really don't care if they find me sexy or not; if they find me a pitiful, defeated man or one bravely enduring his suffering. I just want them to be a crowd watching a crucifixion, drinking, socializing and whatnot.
I'm not sure if we get to choose our fantasies. It is just something that comes to us. I or anyone else with such fantasies cannot just say “Well, I guess I’m going to change my fantasy and dump all my Christ and male crux images and only collect those with a male crucified next to a female.†I just don’t think it is that easy. We probably don’t really have that choice. This fantasy stuff runs pretty deep, probably as deep as sex itself.
However, I think if you ask most self-cruxers they wouldn’t care if they got crucified next to Barbara Bush, just so they get to be crucified. When you are up there on the wood you are pretty much in your own little world, besides, I’m terribly near-sighted and I think most victims of a good healthy crucifixion would have so much sweat stinging their eyes that they wouldn’t be able to see much anyway.
I thank you for responding to my post. The is the first time in my life that I’ve had an opportunity to talk to about this and since most here have crux fantasies of their own, it makes it extra special.
Cemeinsen, I can understand why you do not share the same interest in that sculpture as I. It is probably the antlers! ïÂÅ
I have some others on one of my other computers that are much better. I just have to find them!
GR/CT
Hi Melissa!
I'm here to explore my crux fantasy by seeing/collecting crux images, talk to folks that have crux fantasies similar to mine and present crux images of my own, mostly from my personal home made crux movie, probably to see what kind of reaction I get from them by others.
I'm not at all religious and I'm not her to save anyone. Not even sure anyone here needs any type of saving. I have no 'mission' whatsoever. I'm just here because I am following my curiosity.
Most of my collected images are of Christ crucified, because that is the image that set me off on my crux fantasies when I was very young and those images were most easily attainable. Once the Internet came along my searches brought up even more Christ crucifixion scenes, but also quite a bit of female crucifixion images, most of which I saw on frequent visits to the Crucified Women site. Eventually I followed the Google path to these two forum sites and joined in.
So, in my collection I have lots and lots of crucified Christ images, a load of female crucifixion images and I am finally able to build my non-Christ male crucifixion image collection where most of my interest is centered. My favorites are the PhilX images. That man is a master!
I took the name of Crocceus Tyrannus on one site which somehow translates to 'Golden Ruler' and took the name 'Golden Ruler' on the other site which roughly translates to 'Crocceus Tyrannus.' My true fictional name is Joseph Christson and in my movie I claim to be a direct blood descendant of Jesus Christ and am condemned to die as Christ did as a lesson to me and a reminder to the heresy court what he suffered.
In the movie I follow no religion but believe that man should only live by the Golden Rule, so the court mockingly calls me 'Golden Ruler' or 'Crocceus Tyrannus.' They even carry it so far as to put a sign above my cross that reads 'CTRH' which supposedly stands for 'Crocceus Tyrannus - King of the Heretics.'
So I guess I can see that at first glance my forum names might suggest I am or aspiring to be some sort of leadership person, they will find I really am not if they read into the reasoning behind using the names. It is hard enough to lead one's own life without trying to lead others.
You are right, if my ma was alive she would be amazed at the crucifixion pictures I have and probably suggest that I seek some sort of help. She would think no less of me. She wanted me to become a priest. I'm glad I didn't, mostly because of my non-religious feelings and also I would have spent the rest of my life trying to convince people that I am not a pedophile!
It is really difficult to gage what the interest is in female crucifixion or male crucifixion on these forums, because so few people actually post. I think the interest in male crucifixion might be more than most members imagine.
I like female crucifixion too, but I am very particular about the choice of female victim and exactly the way she is crucified. I like about 5% of what I see. Actually many a naked woman look pretty damn good lying in the bed next to me without having to be nailed helplessly to a cross. I've had many a wonderful romantic experiences with women throughout my life and feel that I have missed nothing by having them crucified.
I do sometimes fantasize on a certain woman I know crucified on a cross next to mine, but most of the time I imagine other men. I must have a 'two thieves crux complex.' However, most of the time I fantasize on me crucified alone by female crucifiers and in front of a female group or crowd. I really don't care if they find me sexy or not; if they find me a pitiful, defeated man or one bravely enduring his suffering. I just want them to be a crowd watching a crucifixion, drinking, socializing and whatnot.
I'm not sure if we get to choose our fantasies. It is just something that comes to us. I or anyone else with such fantasies cannot just say “Well, I guess I’m going to change my fantasy and dump all my Christ and male crux images and only collect those with a male crucified next to a female.†I just don’t think it is that easy. We probably don’t really have that choice. This fantasy stuff runs pretty deep, probably as deep as sex itself.
However, I think if you ask most self-cruxers they wouldn’t care if they got crucified next to Barbara Bush, just so they get to be crucified. When you are up there on the wood you are pretty much in your own little world, besides, I’m terribly near-sighted and I think most victims of a good healthy crucifixion would have so much sweat stinging their eyes that they wouldn’t be able to see much anyway.
I thank you for responding to my post. The is the first time in my life that I’ve had an opportunity to talk to about this and since most here have crux fantasies of their own, it makes it extra special.
Cemeinsen, I can understand why you do not share the same interest in that sculpture as I. It is probably the antlers! ïÂÅ
I have some others on one of my other computers that are much better. I just have to find them!
GR/CT