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Now This Just Isn't Funny

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Eulalia said:
Actually, Opuntia (Prickly Pear) has ammonia in it that gets into animals that eat it,
so the alien's ignoring a nutritious lollipop! :cool:
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I'm not even surprised by this answer anymore. ;) :D
windar said:
That's a saguaro, not a prickly pear:D
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Apostate said:
Ah, but saguaro is visual shorthand for "desert."

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AllDesertsHaveCacti

And if the poor critter crashed in the Kalahari or Gobi, he’s SOL. Opuntia is native to the Americas.
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Only at CF would we get a joke about aliens and end up debating the nutritional merits of cacti. :D :deal::rolleyes:
 
bellesouth said:
View attachment 568957

Does this ring a bell with any men on this forum?
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It reminds me of another cartoon which I can't find just now.
Beautiful girl makes offer to boyfriend "tie me up and then you can do anything you like"
He ties her naked to the bed, then goes and plays computer games . . . . .
:doh:

Aha, found it
tie-me-and-then-do-whatever-you-want-are-you-14036436.png
 
Inspired by the following thread: http://www.cruxforums.com/xf/threads/water-torture.6091/page-9#post-369095

A hot, muscular, blonde forty-something dominatrix was hosing down a hot, petite 21-year-old blonde who was suspended by her wrists, which were chained to the ceiling, and who was naked and completely defenseless against the arctic blasts the dominatrix brought to ever square inch of her exposed flesh.

The domme waited a bit until the poor sub had stopped her impotent screaming and was now merely sobbing.

"Hey! Wanna hear a joke?"

The poor sub, sobbing heavily still, lifted her head in terror. Her nerves were still overloaded. What was this fiendish bitch going to do to her now?

"Ya know why they call this 'water torture?'"

"Wh-wh-why?"

"Because after I let you down and let you rest, you are going to tell all your friends about this and end by saying 'What a torture?' Ha-ha! Get it? 'What-a-torture' Ha-ha!"

The poor sub did not respond. She did not know how to respond any more.

"Well," began the domme, " I tried to be nice, but you are just damned rude! Back to the actual water torture it is, then!"

"NoooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!"

But, it was too late. The poor sub's scream was soon drowned out by the cruel hissing of the hose...
 
Martha recently lost her husband.

She had him cremated and brought his ashes home.

Picking up the urn, she poured him out on the patio table.

Then, while tracing her fingers in the ashes, she started talking to him....

"You know that dishwasher you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money!"

She paused for a minute, tracing her fingers in the ashes then said, "Remember that car you promised me? Well, I also bought it with the insurance money!"

Again, she paused for a few minutes and while tracing her fingers in the ashes she said, "Remember that diamond ring you promised me? Bought it too, with the insurance money!"

Finally, still tracing her fingers in the ashes, she said, "Remember that blow job I promised you?. Well, here it comes."
 
old slave said:
Martha recently lost her husband.

She had him cremated and brought his ashes home.

Picking up the urn, she poured him out on the patio table.

Then, while tracing her fingers in the ashes, she started talking to him....

"You know that dishwasher you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money!"

She paused for a minute, tracing her fingers in the ashes then said, "Remember that car you promised me? Well, I also bought it with the insurance money!"

Again, she paused for a few minutes and while tracing her fingers in the ashes she said, "Remember that diamond ring you promised me? Bought it too, with the insurance money!"

Finally, still tracing her fingers in the ashes, she said, "Remember that blow job I promised you?. Well, here it comes."
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Truly a loving wife.
 
The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, Arthur Davidson, died and went to heaven.

At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur. 'Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want to in heaven.'

Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, ' I want to hang out with God.'

St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God.

God recognized Arthur and commented, 'Okay, so you were the one who invented the Harley-Davidson motorcycle?'

Arthur said, 'Yeah, that's me...'

God commented: 'Well, what's the big deal in inventing something that's pretty unstable, makes noise and pollution and can't run without a road?'

Arthur was a bit embarrassed, but finally spoke, 'Excuse me, but aren't you the inventor of woman?'

God said, 'Ah, yes.'

'Well,' said Arthur, 'professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention.

1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end suspension

2. It chatters constantly at high speeds

3. Most rear ends are too soft and wobble about too much

4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust

5. The maintenance costs are outrageous!!!!

'Hmmmmm, you may have some good points there,' replied God, 'hold on.'

God went to his Celestial supercomputer, typed in a few words and waited for the results.

The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it.

'Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed,' God said to Arthur, 'but according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention than yours'.
 
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