A Roman General bound two women to Saint Andrew's Crosses. He told them as the Crosses were being raised that he was so smitten with them that he would pardon and release the one who lasted the longest without crying out for mercy.
Several hours had passed, all filled with quite a spectacle. Each woman struggled helplessly against the horror that was her crotch, going up to mitigate it, sliding back down when the lactic acid in her legs and arms kicked in.
Finally, the weaker woman caved in and begged "Please...show me mercy!!!"
The General just sat there in grinned. After a couple of minutes had passed, the stronger woman, who had not cried out, said "You said you would pardon and release the one who lasted the longest..."
A confused look replaced the smug smirk on the General's face.
"Oh," responded the General, "You thought I was being serious, did you?"