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Now This Just Isn't Funny

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A hot 40 year old blonde was just convicted of failure to signal a lane change.

"The good news," began the judge "is that I am sentencing you to be crucified...."

"THAT's the 'GOOD' news? What's the BAD news?"

"The bad news is that, with so much pressure from the state, I have to sentence as many hot women to curcifixion as possible. Puts a cramp on space and time resources. Looking at the crux calendar, the only date and place we'll be able to fit you in is on the pitch during the England versus Russia soccer game."

Brilliant ! :D
 
A hot thirty year-old redhead was just convicted of double parking. It had been a long day for the judge.

"The guidelines say I have to crucify you to reduce prison overcrowding...tell you what, though....if you tell me a funny joke, I'll let you go with a warning."

The blonde rapidly told the judge the famous Aristocrats joke. She saw a large hope when the judge guffawed loudly enough to shake the glass in the courtroom windows.

"I guess you never heard that one before..." declared the blonde, a hesitant smirk on her face, when the judge's laughter appeared to subside.

"Oh, I heard that one before...plenty of times....that's not what I found funny about it...you know what I find extremely funny about it?"

"No, your honor...what do you find extremely funny about it?"

"My mother actually was an aristocrat!"
 
Looking at the crux calendar, the only date and place we'll be able to fit you in is on the pitch during the England versus Russia soccer game."
Even Iceland was too strong, also no need to look at that match
 
View attachment 390845

careful, because I'm graduated now​
At first, she is outraged, shocked and weepy. His swift hands crashing on her ass bring pain. It is not so much the force he uses as the shock of it all.

Then the pain turns to something else...

She orgasms all over his lap, her pussy juices seeping through her dress unto his trousers.

"You bitch! Look what you did! I'm going to have to spank you all over again!"

"Wait! WAIT!"

Before his hand comes crashing down again, she swiftly jumps off his lap and, in lightning fast moves, strips herself completely naked, then puts her tummy back on his lap.

"Yes! I soiled you! I deserve to be spanks! Even HARDER than before!"
 

:p
 
captions

Huge Hands Captioned.jpg Polish Table 001.jpg
 

Then, her hands feel the bound flirter's flesh. It is...so soft...so...nice.

"Mmmm...I can see why my boyfriend was looking at you...you're so nice...."

"Mmf! Mmmf! MMMF!!!!"

"Yah...I think I'm gonna get me some....ever been with a woman before?"

"MMF! MMF! MMF!"

"Ah! I'm stoked that you are as anxious to get it on as I am! Here, let me just get my strapon on...there....now, here's some KY on that cute little asshole of yours..."
 
THE GOVERNMENT'S NEW SYMBOL IS THAT OF A CONDOM,
because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance....



A condom allows for inflation,
halts production,
destroys the next generation,
protects a bunch of dicks,
and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed!

It just doesn't get more accurate than that!​
 
THE GOVERNMENT'S NEW SYMBOL IS THAT OF A CONDOM,
because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance....



A condom allows for inflation,
halts production,
destroys the next generation,
protects a bunch of dicks,
and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed!

It just doesn't get more accurate than that!​
So true! :doh:
 
The following is politically and religiously incorrect, but is crux-related so I wanted to share. Just substitute the name of any other politician in the first line if you're offended.



Donald Trump goes on a fact-finding visit to Israel.

While he is on a tour of Jerusalem he suffers a heart attack and dies.

The undertaker tells the American Diplomats accompanying him, 'You can have him shipped home for $50,000, or you can bury him here, in the Holy Land for just $100.'

The American Diplomats go into a corner for a few minutes.

They come back to the undertaker and tell him they want Donald shipped home.

The undertaker is puzzled and asks, 'Why would you spend $50,000 to ship him home when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would spend only $100?

The American Diplomats replied 'Long ago a man died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead, we’re taking no chances'
 
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