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Now This Just Isn't Funny

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Crazy cat lady aisle

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A hot woman in her thirties stood convicted of serial unpaid parking tickets before the judge who was about to sentence her.

"I have some good news and some bad news," began the judge, "The good news is that, due to guidelines regarding overcrowding of prisons, I am going to sentence you to be crucified in lieu of imprisonment."

"That's the 'GOOD' news???" exclaimed the woman, "What's the 'BAD' news?"

"The bad news is that our usual crucifixion site is adjacent to a lot that has been purchased for development of a mega hotel and casino, and which is an active construction site filled with construction workers during the days you will be bound to the cross."
 
A hot woman in her early forties convicted of serial unpaid speeding tickets stood before a judge to be sentenced.

"I have some good news and some bad news," began the judge, "the good news is that, because of prison overcrowding, I am sentencing you to be crucified."

"That's the 'GOOD' news???" exclaimed the woman, "What's the 'BAD' news?"

"The bad news is that the only crucifixion site available is the space the county rents in the middle of the mall, and that the only available time for you to hang in the cross will be from Friday at 6PM to Saturday midnight."
 
Worst joke of the week:
(I can make that claim – I wrote the joke.)

Yesterday, I walk into the butcher’s shop and ask for a fresh chicken.
The butcher says he doesn’t have any fresh – only frozen.
I say thanks, but I need it fresh.
The butcher gets angry, says I’m insulting his chickens.
I ask him to cool down, it’s nothing personal.
He only gets angrier, throws a frozen chicken at my head!
I duck and the chicken misses my head.
I guess you could say, yesterday I dodged a pullet…
 
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