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Now This Just Isn't Funny
- Thread starter admihoek
- Start date
Gibbs505
SERVORUM DOMITOR
At a wedding , the pastor asked if anyone had anything to say concerning the union of the bride and groom. It was their time
to stand up and talk, or forever hold their peace.
The moment of utter silence was broken by a young beautiful woman carrying a child.
She started walking toward the pastor slowly
Everything quickly turned to chaos. The bride slapped the groom. The groom's mother fainted. The groomsmen started
giving each other looks and wondering how best to help save the situation.
The pastor asked the woman, "Can you tell us why you came forward? What do you have to say?"
The woman replied, "We can't hear in the back."
to stand up and talk, or forever hold their peace.
The moment of utter silence was broken by a young beautiful woman carrying a child.
She started walking toward the pastor slowly
Everything quickly turned to chaos. The bride slapped the groom. The groom's mother fainted. The groomsmen started
giving each other looks and wondering how best to help save the situation.
The pastor asked the woman, "Can you tell us why you came forward? What do you have to say?"
The woman replied, "We can't hear in the back."
Gibbs505
SERVORUM DOMITOR
Squirrel problem at church
There were four churches and a synagogue in a small town: a Presbyterian church, a Baptist church, a Methodist church,
a Catholic church and a Jewish synagogue. Each church and the synagogue had a problem with squirrels.
The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrels. After much prayer and consideration
they determined the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.
At the Baptist church the squirrels had taken an interest in the Baptistry. The deacons met and decided to put a water slide
on the Baptistry and let the squirrels slide in and drown themselves.
The squirrels liked the slide and, unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim so twice as many squirrels showed up the following week.
The Methodist church decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creatures. So, they humanely trapped
their squirrels and set them free near the Baptist Church. Two weeks later the squirrels were back when the Baptists took
down the water slide.
But the Catholic Church came up with a very creative strategy. They baptized all the squirrels and consecrated them as
members of the church. Now they only see them on Christmas and Easter.
Not much was heard from the Jewish synagogue, they took one squirrel and circumcised him. They haven't seen a squirrel since.
There were four churches and a synagogue in a small town: a Presbyterian church, a Baptist church, a Methodist church,
a Catholic church and a Jewish synagogue. Each church and the synagogue had a problem with squirrels.
The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrels. After much prayer and consideration
they determined the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.
At the Baptist church the squirrels had taken an interest in the Baptistry. The deacons met and decided to put a water slide
on the Baptistry and let the squirrels slide in and drown themselves.
The squirrels liked the slide and, unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim so twice as many squirrels showed up the following week.
The Methodist church decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creatures. So, they humanely trapped
their squirrels and set them free near the Baptist Church. Two weeks later the squirrels were back when the Baptists took
down the water slide.
But the Catholic Church came up with a very creative strategy. They baptized all the squirrels and consecrated them as
members of the church. Now they only see them on Christmas and Easter.
Not much was heard from the Jewish synagogue, they took one squirrel and circumcised him. They haven't seen a squirrel since.
Gibbs505
SERVORUM DOMITOR
A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss asked sympathetically, 'What's the matter?'
The blonde replies, 'Early this morning I got a phone call saying that My mother had passed away.'
The boss, feeling sorry for her, says, 'Why don't you go home for the day? Take the day off to relax & rest.'
'Thanks, but I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it & I have the best chance of doing that here.'
The boss agrees & allows the blonde to work as usual. A couple of hours pass & the boss decides to check on the blonde.
He looks out from his office & sees the blonde crying hysterically...
'What's so bad now? Are you gonna be okay?' he asks.
'No!' exclaims the blonde. 'I just received a horrible call from my sister. Her mother died, too!'
The blonde replies, 'Early this morning I got a phone call saying that My mother had passed away.'
The boss, feeling sorry for her, says, 'Why don't you go home for the day? Take the day off to relax & rest.'
'Thanks, but I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it & I have the best chance of doing that here.'
The boss agrees & allows the blonde to work as usual. A couple of hours pass & the boss decides to check on the blonde.
He looks out from his office & sees the blonde crying hysterically...
'What's so bad now? Are you gonna be okay?' he asks.
'No!' exclaims the blonde. 'I just received a horrible call from my sister. Her mother died, too!'
The punch line was very funny.
But what made me really laugh was the line about the Baptists taking out the slide!
If Little Siss sees this, Gibbs, it'll be time for a sharp exit!
sympazero2
Cruciformae Studiosus
Hey, Tommy, thanks for inviting me to dinner!
Phew! Boy, am I glad to get in out of the rain!
You got somewhere I can hang my raincoat and umbrella?
Ego Stipes Ergo SumPhew! Boy, am I glad to get in out of the rain!
You got somewhere I can hang my raincoat and umbrella?
RacingRodent
Consul
Tommy did his best, he really tried but it was hard to remember where else he should rest his gaze
Thinks - thank god he stubbed out his cigarette before he came in!
KvK
Tribune
A hot forty year-old blonde with big tits had just been convicted of having several unpaid parking tickets.
"I have some good news and some bad news," said the judge, "The good news is that I am sentencing you to crucifixion."
"That's the 'GOOD' news???" exclaimed the woman, "What's the 'BAD' news????"
"The bad news is that the deputies who will be crucifying you are aspiring comedians, so, on top of the ordinary agony of crucifixion, they will make you laugh your pretty ass off on the cross."
"I have some good news and some bad news," said the judge, "The good news is that I am sentencing you to crucifixion."
"That's the 'GOOD' news???" exclaimed the woman, "What's the 'BAD' news????"
"The bad news is that the deputies who will be crucifying you are aspiring comedians, so, on top of the ordinary agony of crucifixion, they will make you laugh your pretty ass off on the cross."
Typical female multitasking.
You mean a bionic Joy-Stick? Joy for who?Now that's a new breakthrough in games console design!
Loxuru
Graf von Kreuzigung
The real novelty is the tongue controlled 'fire'-button.Now that's a new breakthrough in games console design!
Yes she does. That incident took place during the international women's day demonstrations
