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The Disappearance Of Princess Cordelia

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Barbaria1 said:
First part sounds like a wild episode of the RR television production "Sex Lives of the Rich and Famous: As Told in Intimate Detail, and Liberally Illustrated with Authentic Clandestine Video Clips";):p

Second part is a clear call to arms. For nowhere in this fairy tale world that springs from the pickled and overheated brain of Wragg can be found a more vicious bastard of a villain than Vulcan :eek::confused:
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Nice that you'll still both be well up to the job when you're sixty something, though, Barb! :)

Promise of decades more Crux Forums fun! :cool:

How many licks likes will you have by then? :D
 
Wragg134 said:
Nice that you'll still both be well up to the job when you're sixty something, though, Barb! :)

Promise of decades more Crux Forums fun! :cool:

How many licks likes will you have by then? :D
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Sixty-something? :confused:

Tongue licks, whip licks ... the more the better :p:rolleyes:
 
Wragg134 said:
Barb, though she hadn’t known it at the time, had been pregnant with Shevak’s son Pilus, who had been born about three months before Shevak’s daughter Cordelia, whose mother was Barbaria’s daughter Roxandra.

The young Pilus and Cordelia had turned out to be fit, attractive, and well balanced individuals despite their slightly odd parentage. Shevak was both father and step-grandfather to Cordelia, but actually he was just King. So none of it really mattered.
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With Pp as confused as he is, he is astonished that the young Prince Pilus turned out well balanced. Pp has booked some counselling but does hope young PP continues his happy, balanced life.
 
Primus pilus said:
With Pp as confused as he is, he is astonished that the young Prince Pilus turned out well balanced. Pp has booked some counselling but does hope young PP continues his happy, balanced life.
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Sorry, Pp :(

Trying to keep tabs on the Aestrian Royal families and who sleeps with who and who is who's offspring gives even me a headache :confused: They have all the morals of alley cats :doh:

Except Blaire, that is, she's only ever had eyes for Roxie :bdsm-heart:She was supposed to marry Shevak but they didn't hit it off :croc:

Roxie's Mum is Barb and Blaire's Mum is Siss. So Roxie is your half Sister (via Barb) and Cordelia is too (via Shevak). But she's also your niece, cos she's your half sister's daughter? :confused: See what I mean, It's a genealogist's nightmare. :peep:

Sadly Shevak's been away from the forums since before Christmas but he's such a big part of Aestria that I do hope he comes back soon.

You had another half sister, Tara (Taranthala) who thought Shevak was the hottest man ever but she came to a sticky end on a cross, and caused no-end of trouble, not least of which was writer's cramp for Wragg and a severe headache for any cruxformers mad enough to try and follow the story

There's so much incest and in-breeding that it's a wonder any of you can stand up straight :doh:

But there are some mighty powerful genes in there....as you shall be seeing :popcorn:
 
Wragg134 said:
Sorry, Pp :(

Trying to keep tabs on the Aestrian Royal families and who sleeps with who and who is who's offspring gives even me a headache :confused: They have all the morals of alley cats :doh:

Except Blaire, that is, she's only ever had eyes for Roxie :bdsm-heart:She was supposed to marry Shevak but they didn't hit it off :croc:

Roxie's Mum is Barb and Blaire's Mum is Siss. So Roxie is your half Sister (via Barb) and Cordelia is too (via Shevak). But she's also your niece, cos she's your half sister's daughter? :confused: See what I mean, It's a genealogist's nightmare. :peep:

Sadly Shevak's been away from the forums since before Christmas but he's such a big part of Aestria that I do hope he comes back soon.

You had another half sister, Tara (Taranthala) who thought Shevak was the hottest man ever but she came to a sticky end on a cross, and caused no-end of trouble, not least of which was writer's cramp for Wragg and a severe headache for any cruxformers mad enough to try and follow the story

There's so much incest and in-breeding that it's a wonder any of you can stand up straight :doh:

But there are some mighty powerful genes in there....as you shall be seeing :popcorn:
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Clearly Pp needs to spend some time researching the Kingdom's history and genealogy at his first opportunity.
 
Prince Pilus was in a really good mood as his carriage rattled through the cobbled streets of Heidraen en route back to the castle. He’d just left the Heidraen kickbladder stadium, having had the immense satisfaction of seeing Heidraen United thrash Solithage Rovers 3-1 at home.

His father, Shevak, had invented kickbladder, in which a pig’s bladder full of air is kicked towards a pair of wooden posts by eleven stout men and true, a task made much more difficult than it sounds due to the presence on the field of eleven other men, wearing different coloured shirts, whose sole objective was to kick the same pig’s bladder between another pair of wooden posts situated at the opposite end of the field. Leaving aside some obscure details about what ‘offside’ means, that’s the game in a nutshell.

When Shevak had suggested it to Queen Barbaria, thinking that it might be a far better idea than sticking swords into, pouring boiling oil over, or crucifying the residents of other cities, she had laughed and said that it wouldn’t catch on, as it seemed to her to be ‘a rather futile way to spend an hour and a half of one’s life that one wouldn’t get back.’

This had rather annoyed Shevak, partly because her use of the word ‘one’ sounded ridiculously unroyal, and partly because he didn’t think she was taking him seriously (she often didn’t), so he pushed ahead with it anyway. It had proved remarkably popular, although early games had been frustrated by the explosion of the pig’s bladder after only about fifty minutes. Therefore they had taken an early decision to pause the game after 45 minutes, substitute another bladder, and kick it in the opposite direction towards the other pair of posts for the remaining 45 minutes. (Barbaria had nearly wet herself laughing when she heard about this change. What was the point of kicking the thing in one direction, only to turn around and kick it the other way? It was beyond her powers of comprehension.)

After the first 45 minutes of today’s game, both Solithage and Heidraen had managed to get the bladder between the posts once each. It was when they’d all turned around to play in the opposite direction that things had gone so right for Heidraen and so wrong for Solithage. This had annoyed the Solithage supporters so much that they were in fact strongly considering swords, boiling oil, and crucifixion, thus bearing out Barbaria’s original reservations. However Pilus, who had been a wholehearted Heidraen supporter all his life, was in an indestructible good mood.

As the carriage pulled into the castle yard, he noticed that four horses had been taken from the stables, saddled up, and were being held in front of the main doors. A squadron of Cavalry troops was assembled behind, evidently to provide an escort.

Despite his good humour, Pilus frowned slightly as he checked the position of the sun. Barely three hours of daylight left. Who was going riding at this time?

As he alighted, his mother flew out of the castle, and hurled herself onto a horse, closely followed by Siss, Roxie, and Blaire.

“What on earth,” he asked, “is going on?”

“Cordelia’s been kidnapped!” yelled Barb, “No time to chat! Bye!”

The four women and the troops left the yard at a full gallop, leaving Pilus coughing in the resulting cloud of dust.

“Get Hector ready for me!” he yelled at the groom. “And where’s my father?”

As if by magic, Shevak appeared out of the castle. “Dad! What’s happening?”

Shevak was quite clearly in a towering rage.

“That stupid cow Cordelia took it upon herself to go gallivanting off through the countryside on her own!” he fumed, “Now she’s gone and got herself kidnapped by some greedy bastard who will no doubt try and stick me for every penny I’ve got! Well, he can bloody well keep her for all I care. Stupid bitch.”

“Aw, come on Dad, this is Cordelia we’re talking about! You don’t really mean that!”

Shevak glared at him. Then his expression softened. “No, you’re right. I don’t. I’m just…..a bit upset, that’s all.”

The groom appeared with Hector, Pilus’ prize stallion.

“I’m going after them, Dad!”

“You’ll do no such thing!” (Which was exactly what Shevak had told Barbaria. Fat lot of good it had done him.)

A servant arrived with Pilus’ sword. He strapped it on. “Dad, I must! I can’t sit here twiddling my thumbs while Cordelia is in danger! “

Shevak regarded him seriously. “I am going to call out the armies of all four cities. I will have them scour every square inch of this country searching for Cordelia. We will find her. We will find her by methodical, systematic, searching. And, mark my words, if he has so much as harmed a hair of her head I shall subject him to the longest, most painful, most lingering death that it is humanly possible to devise. Now, choose. Are you going to stay and help me find your sister, or are you going to going to go chasing around Aestria like a startled rabbit as all the women have done?”

Pilus gave the reins back to the groom and followed his father back into the castle.
 
Wragg134 said:
His father, Shevak, had invented kickbladder, in which a pig’s bladder full of air is kicked towards a pair of wooden posts by eleven stout men and true, a task made much more difficult than it sounds due to the presence on the field of eleven other men, wearing different coloured shirts, whose sole objective was to kick the same pig’s bladder between another pair of wooden posts situated at the opposite end of the field. Leaving aside some obscure details about what ‘offside’ means, that’s the game in a nutshell.
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that sounds a very wimpish version Wragg -
true kickbladder is still played at Shrovetide in Ashbourne in the Peak District,
there are no pernickety limits on how many join in on each side,
no poncy coloured shirts,
and the goals are a couple of miles apart,
at either end of the town, in the river.

Shrovetide2.jpg​
 
Eulalia said:
that sounds a very wimpish version Wragg -
true kickbladder is still played at Shrovetide in Ashbourne in the Peak District,
there are no pernickety limits on how many join in on each side,
no poncy coloured shirts,
and the goals are a couple of miles apart,
at either end of the town, in the river.

View attachment 194550​
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But it still beats pouring boiling oil on the other lot! :D
 
Wragg134 said:
After the first 45 minutes of today’s game, both Solithage and Heidraen had managed to get the bladder between the posts once each. It was when they’d all turned around to play in the opposite direction that things had gone so right for Heidraen and so wrong for Solithage. This had annoyed the Solithage supporters so much that they were in fact strongly considering swords, boiling oil, and crucifixion, thus bearing out Barbaria’s original reservations. However Pilus, who had been a wholehearted Heidraen supporter all his life, was in an indestructible good mood.
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Prince Pilus really had had a wonderful day. The kickbladder game had been enthralling and the fact that the teams had been level when it came time to change direction added to the tension. The win to Heidraen had left him in a particularly good mood.

He knew his Mum...sorry, Her Highness Queen Barbaria ...didn't have the attention span to watch even one half of a game of kickbladder and he wondered how she might accept the game he had been thinking about inventing where the same two teams of eleven men took six impaling stakes and set them in groups of three the length of a good slave chain apart. One team would throw a small red ball and try to hit the stakes while two men from the other team tried to to stop it with a piece of wood carefully carved from a willow tree. If they managed to hit the ball the men with the carved willow would try to swap ends and they would score a point each time they did. The laws he was thinking of were particularly complicated and, when he got some servants to try them out, the game lasted five days and still no one actually won. There were crickets chirping in the tree as he was thinking up the laws and he thought that might make a good name for the game.

Now dear Mum had bolted off with her equally impetuous friends chasing the missing Cordelia. All he could think of was that she would get Siss and the others into trouble yet again and he had been on the verge of mounting Hector to chase after them when Dad....whoops, King Shevak, had stopped him.

Now he thought about it, King Shevak was right. We need to search methodically but, deep down, he knew that Mum and her friends would end up in trouble.
 
Primus pilus said:
Prince Pilus really had had a wonderful day. The kickbladder game had been enthralling and the fact that the teams had been level when it came time to change direction added to the tension. The win to Heidraen had left him in a particularly good mood.

He knew his Mum...sorry, Her Highness Queen Barbaria ...didn't have the attention span to watch even one half of a game of kickbladder and he wondered how she might accept the game he had been thinking about inventing where the same two teams of eleven men took six impaling stakes and set them in groups of three the length of a good slave chain apart. One team would throw a small red ball and try to hit the stakes while two men from the other team tried to to stop it with a piece of wood carefully carved from a willow tree. If they managed to hit the ball the men with the carved willow would try to swap ends and they would score a point each time they did. The laws he was thinking of were particularly complicated and, when he got some servants to try them out, the game lasted five days and still no one actually won. There were crickets chirping in the tree as he was thinking up the laws and he thought that might make a good name for the game.

Now dear Mum had bolted off with her equally impetuous friends chasing the missing Cordelia. All he could think of was that she would get Siss and the others into trouble yet again and he had been on the verge of mounting Hector to chase after them when Dad....whoops, King Shevak, had stopped him.

Now he thought about it, King Shevak was right. We need to search methodically but, deep down, he knew that Mum and her friends would end up in trouble.
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hmmmmm.jpg Sonny does know his mum well :rolleyes:
 
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