T'WAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CRUXMAS
'Twas the night before Cruxmas, when all over the Hill,
a mass crucifixion took place, despite the night chill;
The slaves were were all hung on crosses with care,
in hopes that great suffering all would soon bear;
Each girl writhed and wiggled and struggled in vain,
their efforts to find comfort brought nothing but exhaustion and pain;
The nailing of wrists and feet, so snug and so tight,
added immeasurably to each victim's plight;
Tree drenched in Seagrams and Joan in her cap,
were just settling in for a long winter's nap;
When out on the Hill there arose such a chatter,
RR and his crew were out filming the massacre;
Away to the window Tree flew like a flash,
tore open the shutters, and threw up the sash;
The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow,
gave the luster of mid-day to the crucified wretches below;
When, what to his wondering eyes should appear,
but a 4 by 4 truck driven by Gunner and Bull;
With a load of fresh slaves, naked and ready,
the fast arriving truck was really quite full;
Tree jumped in his clothes, grabbed hammer and nail,
for a master like he, raises all comers without fail;
More rapid than eagles, the new arrivals they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and call'd them by name:
"Now! Barb, now! Siss, now! Connie and Eul!"
"On! Roxie, on! Messa, on! Tash and Thess!"
"Lie down on your stipes! Place your backs to the wood!"
"While I nail you it would be nice if you held still as you could"
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
when they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky;
The new crosses were raised in a minute or two,
each bearing a howling young woman -- and a crown of thorns too;
Now enough of this tale, I really must end,
and what I have written off to CF send;
With deepest apologies to Clement C Moore,
A Merry Cruxmas to all from Barbaria Moore!
**************
Barbaria, 2015
'Twas the night before Cruxmas, when all over the Hill, a mass crucifixion took place, despite the night chill;
The slaves were were all hung on crosses with care,
in hopes that great suffering all would soon bear;
Each girl writhed and wiggled and struggled in vain,
their efforts to find comfort brought nothing but exhaustion and pain;
The nailing of wrists and feet, so snug and so tight,
added immeasurably to each victim's plight;
Tree drenched in Seagrams and Joan in her cap,
were just settling in for a long winter's nap;
When out on the Hill there arose such a chatter,
RR and his crew were out filming the massacre;
Away to the window Tree flew like a flash,
tore open the shutters, and threw up the sash;
The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow,
gave the luster of mid-day to the crucified wretches below;
When, what to his wondering eyes should appear,
but a 4 by 4 truck driven by Gunner and Bull;
With a load of fresh slaves, naked and ready,
the fast arriving truck was really quite full;
Tree jumped in his clothes, grabbed hammer and nail,
for a master like he, raises all comers without fail;
More rapid than eagles, the new arrivals they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and call'd them by name:
"Now! Barb, now! Siss, now! Connie and Eul!"
"On! Roxie, on! Messa, on! Tash and Thess!"
"Lie down on your stipes! Place your backs to the wood!"
"While I nail you it would be nice if you held still as you could"
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
when they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky;
The new crosses were raised in a minute or two,
each bearing a howling young woman -- and a crown of thorns too;
Now enough of this tale, I really must end,
and what I have written off to CF send;
With deepest apologies to Clement C Moore,
A Merry Cruxmas to all from Barbaria Moore!
**************
Barbaria, 2015
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I brought the eggnog. Well, to be fair, I didn't have eggs, or nutmeg, or cream, but I had rum. Okay. I brought rum. 
Pass the rum now please.
