Loxuru
Graf von Kreuzigung
Idiot!
Barb cannot complain she is not popular!
Hehe!
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BARB’S DYSTOPIAN DOLCETTISH DEMISE
- Thread starter Barbaria1
- Start date
Servus Venandi
Magistrate
Kira has a message for the FNPA.
Maybe not the smartest thing she's ever done, but there it is.
Maybe not the smartest thing she's ever done, but there it is.
Loxuru
Graf von Kreuzigung
Meat price at the butcher's will drop sharply, soon!I suspect she’ll pay a price for that ...
Praefectus Praetorio
R.I.P. Brother of the Quill
Meat price at the butcher's will drop sharply, soon!
More important than price - is Barb organic, has she been fed antibiotics, growth hormones, female hormones?
Grass fed or raised on GMO corn?
Is she kosher or lutheran?
USDA Prime, Choice or other?
M
montycrusto
Guest
twonines
LIMERICUS
The only thing that be said with certainty is that all Barb`s hormones are definitely female.
jacksjg89
PROCRASTINATOR
Will this help any?Before we continue bantering, let's order first :
For those unfamiliar with French, here are French steak cuts as found on menus:
Entrecôte : rib steak, cut from the fore and wing end parts of the rib roast sections, ribs 9–11
Romsteck or rumsteck: cut from the part of the rump which faces the large end of the filet. This cut needs to be best quality, well-aged.
Faux filet or contre filet: the boneless uppercut of the loin, corresponding to the larger, less tender part of a porterhouse or T-bone steak
Bifteck: cut from the larger, less tender end of the filet, or any lean, boneless steak from a reasonably tender part of the animal
Châteaubriand : corresponds to the undercut or filet portion of a porterhouse steak
I think, I'll take the Châteaubriand, seignant, with fries, salad and sauce Béarnaise. And I have me informed about an appropriate accompanying red wine.
Attachments
jacksjg89
PROCRASTINATOR
Loxuru
Graf von Kreuzigung
twonines
LIMERICUS
As the rump steaks are so tight and little does that mean they will bring a higher price?View attachment 823725 Hmmmmmmm ....
3.
Raising his voice to be heard above the commotion taking place outside on the Moore residence front lawn, Chief Procurement Officer, Jake Clemens, went through the motions of explaining to Barbara’s parents the inspection and grading process he and his colleague, Sophie Miller, were about to perform on their daughter.
“What we are about to do ...” he began, “is determine, first of all, whether Barbara is healthy and clean. For, if she has a fever, signs of a cold, or something else, she’ll need to be quarantined on arrival at the FNPA Center so as not to affect the rest of the herd.
Both parents nodded their understanding.
“Secondly,” Jake continued. “We’ll assess and grade the various parts of your daughter’s body as cuts of meat, adhering to FNPA quality assurance guidelines. Each of her ‘assets’ ... shoulders, breasts, ribs, loins, rump, tenderloin, prime fillet, and so on ... will be inspected and graded right here in your living room. FNPA guidelines currently award one of three grades to each useable cut. The top grade is ‘FNPA prime’, followed by ‘FNPA choice’, and ‘FNPA acceptable’. Each grade carries a set procurement compensatory payment value, which we total up when all assets have been graded. That sum will be reported to you here today and deposited in your bank account in about three business days from now. Any questions?”
They shook their heads.
Barb made a raspberry noise, and grinned at him when he spun around to face her.
“And as for you, Ms. Moore. I can guarantee that you will find some quite disagreeable punishments waiting for you at the FNPA Center that are sure to wipe that stupid self-satisfied look from your face for good. And I’ll also wager that the folks at the Center will move heaven and earth to see that you are spitted and roasting over the coals before the week is out!”
At that point, Mike jumped back from the window, through which he had been monitoring the protesters, with a yelp in reaction to a thrown object that hit and cracked the glass.
“What’s going on, Mike? Has our FNPA riot squad arrived?”
“Getting a bit unruly out there, Chief. The crowd keeps swelling. The good news is that the local constabulary has arrived and thrown up a protective cordon around the van and the house. No sign yet, though, of our own folks.”
“0k, good thing the three sows out in the van are drugged and bound, and the van is protected. Wouldn’t want the rioters to break into the van. Continue watching, please, while Sophie and I perform the inspection and grading.”
“Right, Chief!”
“Okay, Sophie. Let’s get this over with.”
“Right, Chief!”
“Put your hands on top of your head, Barbara. Stand straight and do as Sophie tells you!”
With business-like efficiency, Sophie set about a well-practiced routine, passing a digital thermometer across Barb’s forehead, peering into her eyes, ears and mouth with a penlight, and listening to her breathing with a stethoscope applied to the back and chest.
“All clear,” she reported to Jake who jabbed with his forefinger at a number of checkboxes on his tablet screen.
“Okay, Sophie, check her cavities next.”
“You heard the man, Sweetie, spread your legs for me a little, huh?” chirped Sophie as she snapped a disposable medical glove on her right hand.”
Barb scowled at her but did as she was told.
“Oh dear!” gasped Mrs. Moore, turning her head and closing her eyes so as not to witness what would happen next.
Kneeling before Barb, Sue went to work, inserting a digit into the girl’s vagina and probing vigorously around.
“Owww! Not so rough!” winced Barb. “What do you think you’re going to find in there, anyway? Some sort of concealed weapon?”
“Shut up!”
“Owwwww!”
“Okay! That’s it. You can relax now. I’m done with your cunt,” grunted Sophie, withdrawing her finger. “Now, turn around, bend over and spread those cheeks!”
Jake stabbed at another check-off box, just as the noisy commotion outside rose to a new and heretofore unprecedented level.
“What’s going on now, Mike?”
“Our guys have arrived, but some fucker in the crowd threw a Molotov under the water cannon truck and set the damned thing ablaze! We’re firing tear gas into the mob as I speak, and farther down the street our guys with helmets, shields, batons and truncheons are forming up in a phalanx formation. It’s turning violent out there!”
“Bastards!” grunted Sophie as she rammed her finger up Barb’s asshole with unnecessary force.
“Owwww!” cried Barb. “Take it easy!”
“Why? This is payback for dodging that stun gun upstairs!”
“Owwwwww!”
“Jesus! A couple hundred more protesters just turned up!” cried Mike.
“Hey! What’s going on here?” cried a new voice from the doorway to the kitchen.
“Who the hell is he?” cried Mike, spinning around to face the source of the unknown voice.”
“That’s Barb’s older brother, Seth,” explained Mr. Moore, adding as another young man appeared behind his son, “... and his friend, Joey Farnsworth.”
“Wow, dad! You wouldn’t believe the scene outside! It’s crazy out there!” exclaimed Seth. “Joey and I had to sneak clear around to the backdoor to get in here.”
“Yeah!” agreed Joey as he moved to Seth’s side. And then, on spotting Barb, blurting out, “Geeze, Barbie! Is that you? You’re buck naked! Oh, how I have imagined ... I mean ever since that date last winter when you wouldn’t let me get under your sweater ... but wait! ... why is that woman? ... oh .... my God, Barb ... is she? ... I mean ...”
“Shut the fuck up, Joey!” snapped Barb, glaring back at him crossly from her bent-over position.
“You two! Go stand over there by Mr. and Mrs. Moore and I’ll explain,” intervened Jake hastily.
A series of loud bangs outside rattled the windows.
“Our folks are firing tear gas canisters into them now,” reported Mike.
“Ok, good,” said Jake. Then turning to the two young men standing next to the parents, he addressed them calmly, saying, “Okay, Listen up you two. My name is Jake Clemens. I’m a Chief Procurement Officer with the FNPA, conducting an official FNPA operation in which, Seth, your sister, Barbara, is being culled. We are presently in the process of procuring her for shipment to an FNPA Center, where she will be required to help feed the nation. The riot you witnessed outside is an illegal attempt to disrupt her procurement, probably organized and instigated by your sister and for which she will most likely be severely punished. The riot will shortly be put down by FNPA security forces, and there will likely be mass arrests. For your own safety, I strongly recommend that you both remain here in the house. And, as long as you don’t interfere ... and that includes keeping quiet .... you are both welcome to sit with Seth’s parents and observe the proceedings. Now, if that’s clear, Officer Miller and I will continue with the examination and grading process.”
“I’d prefer it if Seth and Joey would leave,” said Barb, straightening up as Sophie completed her anal probe.
“No, I wouldn’t miss this for the ....”
“Shut the fuck up, Joey!” screamed Barb.
“I think we’d better stay and provide some support for mom and dad,” said Seth thoughtfully. “This has to be awfully rough on them.”
“I’ll tell you who it’s tough on!” retorted Barb angrily.
“Enough!” said Mike, raising his voice to be heard above the sounds of pitched battle on the front lawn.
“I think we’re winning although some of our people are down,” reported Mike from his post by the window. “Understandably, some of our guys are taking revenge by beating the crap out of the protesters that have so far given themselves up. And now we’re resorting to using rubber bullets to drive back the rest of the mob! Wow! That volley took a whole lot of them down, and now the phalanx is wading into the crowd, swinging batons and truncheons. It’s a massacre! The protesters still standing are fleeing!”
“Great!” exulted Jake. “Let’s get on with our work in here then, shall we? Time to grade this sow’s body parts. Where do you want to start, Sophie? How about we begin with that tight little rump?”
TO BE CONTINUED
Raising his voice to be heard above the commotion taking place outside on the Moore residence front lawn, Chief Procurement Officer, Jake Clemens, went through the motions of explaining to Barbara’s parents the inspection and grading process he and his colleague, Sophie Miller, were about to perform on their daughter.
“What we are about to do ...” he began, “is determine, first of all, whether Barbara is healthy and clean. For, if she has a fever, signs of a cold, or something else, she’ll need to be quarantined on arrival at the FNPA Center so as not to affect the rest of the herd.
Both parents nodded their understanding.
“Secondly,” Jake continued. “We’ll assess and grade the various parts of your daughter’s body as cuts of meat, adhering to FNPA quality assurance guidelines. Each of her ‘assets’ ... shoulders, breasts, ribs, loins, rump, tenderloin, prime fillet, and so on ... will be inspected and graded right here in your living room. FNPA guidelines currently award one of three grades to each useable cut. The top grade is ‘FNPA prime’, followed by ‘FNPA choice’, and ‘FNPA acceptable’. Each grade carries a set procurement compensatory payment value, which we total up when all assets have been graded. That sum will be reported to you here today and deposited in your bank account in about three business days from now. Any questions?”
They shook their heads.
Barb made a raspberry noise, and grinned at him when he spun around to face her.
“And as for you, Ms. Moore. I can guarantee that you will find some quite disagreeable punishments waiting for you at the FNPA Center that are sure to wipe that stupid self-satisfied look from your face for good. And I’ll also wager that the folks at the Center will move heaven and earth to see that you are spitted and roasting over the coals before the week is out!”
At that point, Mike jumped back from the window, through which he had been monitoring the protesters, with a yelp in reaction to a thrown object that hit and cracked the glass.
“What’s going on, Mike? Has our FNPA riot squad arrived?”
“Getting a bit unruly out there, Chief. The crowd keeps swelling. The good news is that the local constabulary has arrived and thrown up a protective cordon around the van and the house. No sign yet, though, of our own folks.”
“0k, good thing the three sows out in the van are drugged and bound, and the van is protected. Wouldn’t want the rioters to break into the van. Continue watching, please, while Sophie and I perform the inspection and grading.”
“Right, Chief!”
“Okay, Sophie. Let’s get this over with.”
“Right, Chief!”
“Put your hands on top of your head, Barbara. Stand straight and do as Sophie tells you!”
With business-like efficiency, Sophie set about a well-practiced routine, passing a digital thermometer across Barb’s forehead, peering into her eyes, ears and mouth with a penlight, and listening to her breathing with a stethoscope applied to the back and chest.
“All clear,” she reported to Jake who jabbed with his forefinger at a number of checkboxes on his tablet screen.
“Okay, Sophie, check her cavities next.”
“You heard the man, Sweetie, spread your legs for me a little, huh?” chirped Sophie as she snapped a disposable medical glove on her right hand.”
Barb scowled at her but did as she was told.
“Oh dear!” gasped Mrs. Moore, turning her head and closing her eyes so as not to witness what would happen next.
Kneeling before Barb, Sue went to work, inserting a digit into the girl’s vagina and probing vigorously around.
“Owww! Not so rough!” winced Barb. “What do you think you’re going to find in there, anyway? Some sort of concealed weapon?”
“Shut up!”
“Owwwww!”
“Okay! That’s it. You can relax now. I’m done with your cunt,” grunted Sophie, withdrawing her finger. “Now, turn around, bend over and spread those cheeks!”
Jake stabbed at another check-off box, just as the noisy commotion outside rose to a new and heretofore unprecedented level.
“What’s going on now, Mike?”
“Our guys have arrived, but some fucker in the crowd threw a Molotov under the water cannon truck and set the damned thing ablaze! We’re firing tear gas into the mob as I speak, and farther down the street our guys with helmets, shields, batons and truncheons are forming up in a phalanx formation. It’s turning violent out there!”
“Bastards!” grunted Sophie as she rammed her finger up Barb’s asshole with unnecessary force.
“Owwww!” cried Barb. “Take it easy!”
“Why? This is payback for dodging that stun gun upstairs!”
“Owwwwww!”
“Jesus! A couple hundred more protesters just turned up!” cried Mike.
“Hey! What’s going on here?” cried a new voice from the doorway to the kitchen.
“Who the hell is he?” cried Mike, spinning around to face the source of the unknown voice.”
“That’s Barb’s older brother, Seth,” explained Mr. Moore, adding as another young man appeared behind his son, “... and his friend, Joey Farnsworth.”
“Wow, dad! You wouldn’t believe the scene outside! It’s crazy out there!” exclaimed Seth. “Joey and I had to sneak clear around to the backdoor to get in here.”
“Yeah!” agreed Joey as he moved to Seth’s side. And then, on spotting Barb, blurting out, “Geeze, Barbie! Is that you? You’re buck naked! Oh, how I have imagined ... I mean ever since that date last winter when you wouldn’t let me get under your sweater ... but wait! ... why is that woman? ... oh .... my God, Barb ... is she? ... I mean ...”
“Shut the fuck up, Joey!” snapped Barb, glaring back at him crossly from her bent-over position.
“You two! Go stand over there by Mr. and Mrs. Moore and I’ll explain,” intervened Jake hastily.
A series of loud bangs outside rattled the windows.
“Our folks are firing tear gas canisters into them now,” reported Mike.
“Ok, good,” said Jake. Then turning to the two young men standing next to the parents, he addressed them calmly, saying, “Okay, Listen up you two. My name is Jake Clemens. I’m a Chief Procurement Officer with the FNPA, conducting an official FNPA operation in which, Seth, your sister, Barbara, is being culled. We are presently in the process of procuring her for shipment to an FNPA Center, where she will be required to help feed the nation. The riot you witnessed outside is an illegal attempt to disrupt her procurement, probably organized and instigated by your sister and for which she will most likely be severely punished. The riot will shortly be put down by FNPA security forces, and there will likely be mass arrests. For your own safety, I strongly recommend that you both remain here in the house. And, as long as you don’t interfere ... and that includes keeping quiet .... you are both welcome to sit with Seth’s parents and observe the proceedings. Now, if that’s clear, Officer Miller and I will continue with the examination and grading process.”
“I’d prefer it if Seth and Joey would leave,” said Barb, straightening up as Sophie completed her anal probe.
“No, I wouldn’t miss this for the ....”
“Shut the fuck up, Joey!” screamed Barb.
“I think we’d better stay and provide some support for mom and dad,” said Seth thoughtfully. “This has to be awfully rough on them.”
“I’ll tell you who it’s tough on!” retorted Barb angrily.
“Enough!” said Mike, raising his voice to be heard above the sounds of pitched battle on the front lawn.
“I think we’re winning although some of our people are down,” reported Mike from his post by the window. “Understandably, some of our guys are taking revenge by beating the crap out of the protesters that have so far given themselves up. And now we’re resorting to using rubber bullets to drive back the rest of the mob! Wow! That volley took a whole lot of them down, and now the phalanx is wading into the crowd, swinging batons and truncheons. It’s a massacre! The protesters still standing are fleeing!”
“Great!” exulted Jake. “Let’s get on with our work in here then, shall we? Time to grade this sow’s body parts. Where do you want to start, Sophie? How about we begin with that tight little rump?”
TO BE CONTINUED
Last edited:
Praefectus Praetorio
R.I.P. Brother of the Quill
Geeze, that doesn't sound like Barb!
Again, Friday Night Barb has a very caring brother!
This is all too droll! Great yarn!
jacksjg89
PROCRASTINATOR
All this being violated and humiliated in front of your parents, brother, brothers creepy best friend, and government employees can’t be good for the quality of the meat. It’s going to be, as they say, tough on the teeth.
jacksjg89
PROCRASTINATOR
He was always their mothers favorite. Never caused them much anxiety like Barb did.
Praefectus Praetorio
R.I.P. Brother of the Quill
No problem. Once they get this sow to FNPA headquarters, they can break out the trusty meat tenderizer
to work over her rump (and other girly parts - as Eulalia would say).
jacksjg89
PROCRASTINATOR
Is the rump exclusively a girly part?
Servus Venandi
Magistrate
Typical rioters, all bricks and signs and molotovs, but unable to actually fight.
Not the sort of people you want to depend on when you're being rounded up by cannibal authorities.