CF Recipes

[Eulalia]

Live-Roasting a Girl​

Cooking a live woman over an open fire originally came about out of necessity. Without kitchens, cooking equipment or utensils, early man pretty much only had fire and little else to cook meat. Over the years, roasted live woman evolved into a preference rather than a necessity. Roasting a live girl is a longstanding tradition for many barbecue chefs, especially those in the Southern United States, and most notably in South Carolina.

Spending hours waiting for the girl to cook is likened to running a marathon, and it's all part of the fun. Many times a party is arranged around a live-girl roast, called "Pussy Pickin'" in the Carolinas. If you're interested in hosting a live-girl cookout, make sure you have a lot of time and patience.

A woman’s tasty body is, of course, the supreme gift she can give, so if your wife, girlfriend or daughter is willing to be roasted for your cookout, she should of course be your first choice. Your friends and family will be impressed by her sacrifice, you will feel very proud of her.

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Buying a Girl for Live Roasting


If you aren’t going to barbecue your wife, girlfriend or daughter, or you’re planning a big cookout with several girls roasting at once, you’ll have to buy in the meat. Top of the market are wild girls caught in one of the traditional girl-hunts that are enjoying a welcome revival across the Confederate States these days. If you aren’t in a position to join a hunt yourself, your local game-dealer should be able to order one for you, but it is often necessary to give 7 days advance notice.

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If you live in a rural area, try to locate a farmer with a spare daughter or a wife he no longer needs. Sometimes a simple knock on the door might yield a sale if the guy wants to make a few bucks.

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In a city, if there's an ethnic market or butcher in your area, Asian, Mexican and other Latin American markets sell girls just crying out to be stuffed with hot chilli peppers. But what you'll probably find is the best bet is the Internet. Thanks to the World Wide Web, you can actually have a girl delivered right to your doorstep. Before paying, make sure your purchase is absolutely clean and disease-free.

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[Eulalia]

How many will she serve?

After cooking and discarding the bones, a girl will typically give about 6-9oz of meat, or one serving portion, per pound of her live weight, but bear in mind –

· The best girls for roasting on a spit are under 100 pounds.

· The choicest bits are only a small proportion of her weight, so if you want all your guests to have at least a nibble of her breast- and/or cunt-meat for a starter, allow for only one serving per 10 pounds live weight.

· Likewise, the best steak cuts – fillets, rump, leg – account for only about half of her meat.

· Smaller girls will have a greater percentage of bone and skin and will yield proportionately fewer servings of meat.

· Younger girls have extremely gelatinous and relatively low-fat flesh that practically melts as you cook it, oozing rich, sticky, porky juices; they can be roasted alive relatively quickly.

· Older women have more fat, but their meat can begin to get drier and tougher, and are better suited for long, slow barbecuing.

So,

· A petite girl with small breasts, weight 75 lbs, will make a nice meal for a family party of 6-8 people, if they all want a share of the choice bits for starters, and juicy steaks for main course.

· A typical young adult woman, with medium breasts, weight 100 lbs, would be the ideal choice for a barbecue, she’ll serve 40-50 guests.

· A mature, big-breasted woman, weight 125 lbs, will need long, slow roasting, but she’ll give tasty meat by nightfall to be shared by up to 100.


Equipment and Ingredients

If you don't have a girl-roasting pit, you can simply dig a fire-pit in your backyard and do it the old-fashioned way. Make sure you give yourself plenty of time to get the heat right. You'll need to add wood to your burning fire for a couple of hours to get the kind of hot bed of coals you'll need. While you need a hot fire to create the coals, you'll want to maintain a low roasting temperature so the girl's outer skin doesn't burn.

The best way to avoid overcooking the skin is by using a spit. A standard-size spit may work for smaller girls, but you'll need a heavy duty version for a large woman. There are two types of spit:

· The impaling spit, which is thrust through the girl’s vagina or rectum and up the length of her body to emerge through her mouth. Skillfully skewered, the girl can remain conscious and fully aware of what is happening to her for up to half an hour of live roasting, during which time the rush of adrenalin and other hormonal enzymes will strongly enhance the taste of her meat.

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· The live-roasting spit, to which the girl is tied face-up or face-down; the best models have a spiked hook which is inserted into the girl’s vagina or rectum to hold her steady. Over a very slow fire, a girl can remain conscious for up to two hours of live roasting, becoming deliciously tender in the process.

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You'll also need:

· Charcoal briquettes. You can use hardwood coal instead of briquettes, but it burns fast and hot, so it’s difficult to maintain the slow, even heat necessary for prolonged cooking. Plan on at least one pound of coals per pound of girl, but have an extra 25 pounds or so on hand

· A chimney starter. It's the most efficient way to light a batch of coals.

· A long set of tongs for arranging the coals underneath the girl during cooking.

· A barbecue grill with kebab skewers, and/ or a big frying-pan, will be useful to give a final sizzle to the choice bits immediately before serving.

· A carving knife, a sharp filleting knife, a long fork, a basting spoon, and a meat-cleaver.

· Salt is the only seasoning you need. The girl should have plenty of flavor on her own.

· Beer and friends. It's gonna be a long, lazy day of girl-spinning, so make sure you are amply lubricated and the company is good.

 

[Eulalia]

Yes, I think I'd be (even ) tastier marinaded in Worcestershire Sauce

Here's some more instructions:

Preparing your Girl for roasting

Your girl’s bowels should be emptied, so make sure she takes an enema 24 hours before her roasting is due to begin, and has evacuated completely. She should eat no solid food during those 24 hours, and only drink water in the final 12 hours, though a farewell glass of white wine immediately before she’s spitted is traditionally allowed.

Obviously, long hair will catch fire and flare up, scorching her face at an eary stage in the cooking, while she’s still fully conscious. So it will make cooking easier if your girl has her head shaved, or at least her hair cut very short. But if you want her to keep it to the end, she must tie it tightly in a bun before she’s spitted.

Make sure she’s shaved her pussy, legs and armpits absolutely baby-bare, and thoroughly washed herself outside and in. If she’s going to be skewered, she’ll be helping herself if she lubricates her vagina or rectum in readiness for the spit. And however she's going to be cooked, she might save you the trouble of rubbing plenty of rock-salt into her vagina, too.

To skewer your girl with an impaling spit, get her to lean or kneel in a convenient position, perhaps on a box or low table, bracing herself against a wall or other solid fixture. It’s best to tie her wrists, so she can’t lash out instinctively when the spit starts to hurt her. Tell her to keep her thighs wide open, and try not to move about. Insert the tip of the spit about 9” – 12” into her rectum, give her a few moments to get accustomed to it, then, holding her head firmly in your left hand, thrust the spit through her in a firm, steady movement. The spit rod should travel along her spine. Encourage her to scream, as this well help it travel up her thorax and out through her mouth. When it is pushed right through, twist it round a few turns each way.

Whether you use an impaling spit or a slow-roasting type, he most crucial step is securing the girl onto it, and heavy duty fireproof twine is the only way to ensure that your trussing job will hold. Even a small girl, trussed and spitted, is quite heavy, and unless she is extremely well secured, she’ll flop around as the spit turns. As she cooks, her fat and juices will ooze out of her, she’ll shrink and may become loose, so her body, arms and legs should be trussed extremely tightly, even painfully so – ignore her protests! Various bondage style are used for girl-trussing, you may like to demonstrate your artistry, or you can simply hog-tie her, wrists to ankles.

 

[Eulalia]

Cooking your Girl

With the help of an assistant, carry the girl on the spit out to the party and lay her on the preparing rack. Brush her body generously with oil, then rub in plenty of salt, outside and (if she hasn’t done it for you) in her vaginal cavity. Then carry her across to the fire-pit and lay her on the spit supports.

The coals should be glowing, not smoking much or putting up flame. When she’s turned to face the fire, her tits will hang down, and her nipples should be about 12” above the fire. Adjust the supports so that she’s at the desired height.

An average 100lb girl will take about 75 minutes per 10 pounds, so for an evening barbecue, she needs to begin roasting about 9.00 a.m.. A 75lb youngster can wait until midday, but a mature 125lb woman will need 15-18 hours slow roasting, so is best put on to cook before dawn.

But in all cases time is a variant! One must be flexible in the timing and cooking process, checking the girl often is essential, to ensure that the coals are still hot but not blazing, and the girl is not over or undercooking.

Roasting alive ensures that your girl’s meat will be as fresh, tender and tasty as any can be, and of course it gives you and your guests the pleasure of watching her living body responding to the slow but remorseless heat, her helpless struggling with her bondage, hearing her moans, gasps and panting for breath, over the sizzling of her sweat and melting fat, seeing her gradually lose consciousness and eventually life, smelling her gradual transformation from woman to meat.

And for her its an honour and a pleasure too. Many a women specifically asks her husband, boyfriend or daddy to carve and taste a mouthful from her before she loses consciousness. This should be possible, even a skewered girl is likely to remain conscious and fully aware of what’s happening for up to half an hour, by which time her nipples – hanging as they are closest to the coals – should be nicely grilled, crispy on the outside, tender and juicy when chewed.

To prepare for this early taste, keep her face-down on the spit most of the first half hour, but turn her frequently so you can baste her tits and ensure they aren’t burning. Sponge her forehead with iced water to maintain consciousness. When her nipples and areoles are deep, dark red, too hot to touch, and the flesh under them is tender when forked, take a scalpel or small, sharp knife and carefully slice around the areole, lifting it off. Make sure your girl can see you as you savour this tasty ‘tit-bit’, fulfilling her last wish!

After this, sit back and relax, just checking every half hour or so, turning and basting. Keep the heat constant, fluctuating heat will add to your cooking time. If you’re cooking a small youngster, you can keep the heat fairly high, so she’ll be crispy brown on the outside and underdone within. For a bigger, more mature woman, low and slow is better - if she has started taking on a burnished color within the first hour or two, she’s cooking too fast. Either slow down the rate at which you are adding coals, or raise the spit a few more inches from the coals.

The last half hour is where all the skin-crisping crackly magic happens, and requires high heat, so you'll want to pile on the coals at the very end, rotating the girl as necessary to expose every inch of skin to the intense blast of heat. If all goes well, it'll bubble into blistery pustules that crackle and dissolve in your mouth. Yum.

 

[Eulalia]

Serving your Girl

Make sure everything’s ready for the feast! Your ‘slavegirls’ should have set out supplies of chargrilled vegetables, salads, barbecue sauce, and relishes, and be circulating among the guests keeping glasses filled. Now they should be standing by ready to serve.Your assistant should be ready with a big pan and plenty of butter, to give a final sizzling to the choice bits on the grill.

Keep checking her internal temperature with a meat thermometer pushed well into her cunt. When she reaches 160°F move her away from the heat, She’ll keep wam for an hour or so without drying out, so there’s no need to rush, take it steady. Carry her to the carving table, slide out the spit, lay her face-up.

The first piece to serve is her pussy. With a sharp filleting knife, cut around the triangle of Venus, around her cunt lips, to her groin, then inserting the blade under the flesh, gently slice and lift it up in a single piece. Lay it on a dish, slice from the top edge straight down through the slot to the top. Then carefully cut away the outer and inner lips, and the clitoris, and slice the remainder into thin strips. A slavegirl should immediately offer these delicacies to the guests (you, the cook, are traditionally allowed the clit!)

Meanwhile, remove the ovaries, pass them to your assistant to fry them for a few seconds in butter, then to a slavegirl who has slices from a French baguette ready to put the ‘human caviare’ on. She gives them a dash of Tabasco, and offers them to the most honoured guests.

Next, slice off the breasts, cut away the areoles and nipples (if they’ve not already been eaten) and pass them to a slavegirl to serve on baguette slices, then cut the cooked flesh into strips about ½“ thick, and give them to the slavegirls to serve.

For guests who haven’t so far had a starter, carefully remove the girl’s belly-skin with the fat and flesh under it, and cut it into strips of cruchy crackling. Cut out the kidneys and sweetbreads, give these to your assistant for frying, then they can be served on baguette slices. Remove the liver, cut that in slices for the slavegirls to serve. Now chop down the thorax, spread open her rib-cage, remove the heart and slice it into four pieces, give these to a slavegirl to serve.

Having served up the delicacies, it’s time to get to the big meat. Chop off the head – it will make an nice centrepiece for the party on a dish of fruit or an ornamental plant-pole. Chop off the arms, then roll over the carcass and begin dividing it into joints – ham (chop her legs off at the hips, then chop her knees, slice her thighs across into butt-steaks), tenderloin (slice off what’s left of her rump, cut it into fillets), ribs (chop at her waist and below her shoulders, divide the chops), and shoulders (slice the flesh from beside her shoulder-blades, cut butt-steaks from her armpit and collar).

What’s left of the girl – lower legs and feet, arms and hands, and the remaining carcass, should be scraped clean of all serveable meat, then, with the bones of the whole carcass, thrown into the stock-pot to be simmered overnight and made into a delicious consommé tomorrow – bon appetit!

 

[l'bogo]

My tastes are much like yours Gabriella, same choice for A and B,
but for C I'd choose Volpina mullet, vegetables with parsley and basil pesto.
And for the wine - with the first two courses I'll try the Isonzo di Friuli as I've never tasted that,
but I've checked it out and a good one from the Rive Alte would suit those dishes.
With the mullet, perhaps a Riesling d'Alsace. Dessert wine? Has to be Vin Santo!

The Isonzo del Friuli is a white wine from: Chardonnay; Malvasia istriana; Pinot bianco and Pinot grigio; Riesling Renano and Riesling Italico; Sauvignon; Friulano; Traminer aromatico; Verduzzo Friulano; Cabernet Franc and Cabernet Sauvignon.
Vin Santo is from Tuscany.

The Volpina is a fish: Grey Mullet, as called in English

I've to open a Crux Forums Restaurant...

 

[l'bogo]

.... .... I would prefer sea bass, so I opted for something that I do not eat so often, cod fish with coconutand lemongrass, which is pretty unusual, at least for me. But I am pretty open to any solution...
About wine... some Sauvignon blanc (at least two glasses!) and limoncello for dessert maybe?

Good choice.
But.
The l'bogo chef suggest you:

Baicolo fillet in saor, with Chioggia stewed red onions, cream of violet artichokes of S. Erasmo.
Venissa, Dorona wine in the Veneto lagoon, Mazzobro island, offer a heady and evolving nose.



Dorona: Known as the Golden Grape during the age of the Venetian Doges, this autochthonous grape variety almost became extinct, and after centuries of history only a few plants were left hidden away in vegetable gardens and convents.
Mazzorbo (from the Latin Maiurbium, great city) was founded when the inhabitants fled the nearby town of Altino due to the Longobardic invasion, and over the years, it became an important center of what is today known as Native Venice: the original Venice.

 

[l'bogo]

I've to open a Crux Forums Restaurant...

outdoor vehicle

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[l'bogo]

An excellent idea!
Of course, we already have our Coffee Shop, where a selection of delectable waitresses
are eager to serve every taste - including delicious Italian dishes


Now I'm trying to learn Venetian dialect (Luna tried to teach me Napoletano) -
some crafty Googling reveals:
baicolo (as well as being a sweet biscuit) is a young mullet (cefalo),
saor is 'savoury', i.e. a savoury sauce. Sounds very tasty.
Venissa wine and the Dorona grape are quite new to me,
I don't think we can get Venissa in Britain, at least not out here in the sticks.
http://venissa.it/en/vino/#shop

Baicolo is our branzino or spigola: Dicentrarchus labrax.

the Venetian Saòr is a little bit different by savoury sauce

Recipe for sauce for seasoning fish and Venetian vegetables:
1Kg Golden or white onion cut into strips
5 Cup of white wine vinegar
7-5 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
2 tablespoons pine nuts toasted
2 tablespoons raisins soaked in water, salt and pepper as you need
chives chopped (optional ingredient)

preparation of saor:
We heat a large pan and pour the extra virgin olive oil. When it is hot, add the chopped onion and let it Brown for a few minutes at medium-high flame. Then pour the vinegar and we lower the fire, stir and allow to reduce the liquid, making sure to evaporate without excessive hotness. When the onions are dry and soft, turn off the heat and add the raisins wrung out the water and dried, toasted pine nuts, salt, pepper and perhaps also the chives. Stir to mix well. For a good sauce, let us remember to alternate the sauce in a baking dish with vegetables, as a kind of lasagna. In the case of a fish different from sardines, let's instead so that it is placed on a bed of sauce and covered with another generous layer. Then put in the fridge to rest for at least a day before serving. Take out half an hour before serving.

the Venissa is it you found!

 

[Madiosi]

I think, we need this thread for all the delicious recipes of our members. I will moving the first in here.

 

[Eulalia]

Ah yes, ragazza alla dolcetta!

 

[l'bogo]

Welcome to:
Shade Burger,

La Croix de Ville

The Crux Forums Restaurant is now open. You can find here your preferred dish, accurate cooking, Italian taste.

the exerior.

the interior.

and high quality furniture:



thank to madiosi enterprise for the good job.

 

[l'bogo]

Today Menu:

Apetizer:
Cuvee Brut spumante Chardonnay

Without salt:
marinated sardines
Ramblà 2013

With parmigiano reggiano:
tomato Risotto and Parmesan fondue
Chardonnay 2011

Wthout added fat and salt-free:
duck breast with asiatica sauce
L'Accento, Red Wine 2012

Without sugar:
chocolate black and white, raspberries and grains
Roseus, pink spumante brut.

 

[l'bogo]

We can serve you in your outdoor crux performances, with our outdoor vehicle:

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very energetic foods for all the girls that have to be crucified!

 

[windar]

With Passover approaching, I suppose I should share Mama Goldman's recipe for matzo ball soup:

1. Catch a matzo.
2. Cut off its balls.
3. Simmer them in chicken broth seasoned with salt and pepper along with one chopped onion and 2 or 3 cloves of garlic. Add parsley for the last 5 minutes. Serve and enjoy...

 

[Barbaria1]

My modest contribution (I’m hopeless in the kitchen)

 

[Eulalia]

With Passover approaching, I suppose I should share Mama Goldman's recipe for matzo ball soup:

1. Catch a matzo.
2. Cut off its balls.
3. Simmer them in chicken broth seasoned with salt and pepper along with one chopped onion and 2 or 3 cloves of garlic. Add parsley for the last 5 minutes. Serve and enjoy...

Top your matzo with matzorella, and make it a Passover Pizza

 

[Marcius]

Top your matzo with matzorella, and make it a Passover Pizza

With nut-cutting involved, I guess it may also be defined as alla Flaviana.

 

[Naraku]

With Passover approaching, I suppose I should share Mama Goldman's recipe for matzo ball soup:

1. Catch a matzo.
2. Cut off its balls.
3. Simmer them in chicken broth seasoned with salt and pepper along with one chopped onion and 2 or 3 cloves of garlic. Add parsley for the last 5 minutes. Serve and enjoy...

 

[GeorgeL]

Hunting girls for others! … what a noble way of eanring one´s income ! …