Limericks

[Wragg]

The bard of the forum, Eulalia,
With stories she’s prone to regale ya.
Like Scheherazade
Meets the Marquis de Sade
For some kinky as fuck bacchanalia.

I'm praising these lines to the skies
Your standards continue to rise!
For sure, I have never
Seen a poem so clever
Dear Monty, you must win the prize!

 

[twonines]

A young lady from within Sleepy Hollow,
Her natural instincts,tended to follow.
After receiving advice from Barbara Moore,
(Which she studiously chose to ignore)
She continued both to suck and to swallow!

 

[twonines]

What do we know about Barbara Moore?
She`s a beauty of that we are sure.
However, she tends to whine and complain,
And occasionally needs a dose of the cane.
Often,she`ll take a score,and sometimes one or two more!

 

[CruxLove]

There was a farmer who borrowed, but could not recompensate,
So the moneylender did what he thought was best.
He got the farmer’s young daughter
To be fucked by one after another
Till he got back his principal with interest.

 

[twonines]

There was an old feller from Buckingham,
Who hated boats when he was stuck in `em.
It wasn`t the stunts of the cunts in the punts,
But the tricks of the pricks that were fucking `em.

 

[twonines]

From this Limerick list,one lady`s been missed
And that omission is really a bummer.
Sporting weals on her hide,
She`s Newfoundland`s pride.
The beautiful Katherine Summer.

 

[CruxLove]

The master had a slave girl, so beautiful and juicy
But she didn't always obey him, and would sometimes be fussy.
So one day he got his kettle and pot
And brewed some coffee boiling hot
But instead of having it with bread, he poured it in her pussy.

 

[twonines]

On this great CF Board,there exists a fine hoard
Of ladies both docile and snotty.
Some pose,and some pout,
With their assets thrust out,
And then there`s the inimitable Dottie.

 

[twonines]

This is in praise of the great FSG,
Whose proportions are both firm and ample.
When it comes to the cane,
She can absorb so much pain,
With dick, she`s never averse to a sample!

 

[montycrusto]

I found only a old postcard with the last Crucifixion of a rebelious barbarian girl from the 1930s.
View attachment 903740

In Haslemere lived a young maid,
Who was wayward and often got laid.
To a cross she was nailed,
On a cornu impaled,
And so for her lust she has paid.

 

[lember]

Frances I am, which weighs me down,
born in Paris near Pontoise town,
and with a stretch of rope my arms
learn for once the weight of my arse

(For intro thanks to Francis)
from here:

Walls of Dresden

Frances I am, which weighs me down, born in Paris near Pontoise town, and with a stretch of rope my arms learn for once the weight of my arse (For intro thanks to Francis)

www.cruxforums.com

 

[Eulalia]

Ah yes, François Villon:

Je suis François, dont ce me poise,
Né de Paris emprès Ponthoise.
Or d’une corde d’une toise
Saura mon col que mon cul poise.

But it's his neck (col) that will know the weight of his arse (cul)

 

[montycrusto]

York

There was an old fellow of York,
Who sat down quite hard on a fork.
He uttered a scream,
Saying “Stone me, I seem
To have skewered me sirloin of pork!”

 

[twonines]

There was a young fellow from Kent,
The end of whose todger was bent.
To save himself trouble,
He inserted it double,
So instead of coming he went.

 

[twonines]

There was a young lady from Barton Creek,
Who had her monthlies twice a week.
"How provoking"
Said the Bishop of Woking,
"No poking, so to speak"

 

[Hangnail]

There's no writing can give such delight
As a verse where the scansion is right
The third line should be short
Just two feet, of this sort,
But perhaps I am being uptight.

 

[twonines]

Now it`s time to laud Montycrusto
Whose role in the forums is just so.
Both in verse and in art,
He plays a great part
And manages to tease Barb with gusto.

 

[montycrusto]

Now it`s time to laud Montycrusto
Whose role in the forums is just so.
Both in verse and in art,
He plays a great part
And manages to tease Barb with gusto.

Well, teasing dear Barb is my passion,
I pursue in my own unique fashion.
I poke her until
Out her demerits spill,
And she says “There you go, that’s your ration!”

 

[messaline]

Ah yes, François Villon:

Je suis François, dont ce me poise,
Né de Paris emprès Ponthoise.
Or d’une corde d’une toise
Saura mon col que mon cul poise.

But it's his neck (col) that will know the weight of his arse (cul)

" poise" = pèse ?

 

[twonines]

Windar`s at the top of his class,
His stories, muster all pass.
Excitement they exude
And when they conclude,
Barb rarely has skin on her ass!