Limericks

[tomthestagman]

A hoary old monk from north China
Once said 'There is nothing diviner
Than to sit in one's cell
and to let one's mind dwell
on the charms of a virgin vagina'

 

[tomthestagman]

He said to the young girl from Uppingham
Whilst crossing the bridges at Buckingham
He was watching the stunts
of the cunts in the punts
and the tricks of the pricks that was fucking 'em

 

[tomthestagman]

aid he to the young girl from Brighton
My but you got a tight 'un
Well bless my soul
You're in the wrong hole
There's plenty of room in the right 'un

 

[montycrusto]

The Ballad of Bonnie Wee Barb (part dix-neuf)

When Macbeth talked of murdering Duncan,
Wee Barb said “Och husband, you’re drunken!
If ye’re feeling’ sae brave
Come exploring ma cave,
Ah ken ye’ve a yen for spelunkin’!”

 

[montycrusto]

The Ballad of Bonnie Wee Barb (zwanzig)

When Lady MacBarb was the Queen,
She said “Will these hands ne’er be clean?
I’ve scrubbed all my fingers
But the scent kinda lingers
Frae the intimate place they have been!”

 

[twonines]

This Limerick pandemic`s a curse,
It continues to get worse and worse.
No end is in sight,
You`ll get no respite,
Until we`re carried off in a hearse.

 

[Barbaria1]

The Ballad of Bonnie Wee Barb (zwanzig)

When Lady MacBarb was the Queen,
She said “Will these hands ne’er be clean?
I’ve scrubbed all my fingers
But the scent kinda lingers
Frae the intimate place they have been!”

 

[montycrusto]

At least you got promoted to “Lady MacBarb”!

 

[Barbaria1]

Monty won’t stop with his rhyming
A matter I find quite trying
Despite all I warn
Treat him with scorn
Demerits just keep on flying

 

[windar]

When this thread long ago I began
It really wasn't my plan
To pick on poor Moore
To make her endure
But she responds with such brave elan

 

[twonines]

Although I`ve succumbed to this craze,
Now, my defence I must raise.
To Barb, I`ve been fair,
And taken great care,
To heap on paeans of praise.

 

[Barbaria1]

When this thread long ago I began
It really wasn't my plan
To pick on poor Moore
To make her endure
But she responds with such brave elan

It’s become quite a favorite of mine
So due credit can rightly be thine
But when I’m taken in vain
I do find it a huge pain
And due punishment will surely assign

 

[twonines]

Barb`s replies to these rhymes are so clever,
The series will probably cease never.
With might and with main,
She normally seeks pain,
So it could continue for ever.

 

[montycrusto]

When this thread long ago I began
It really wasn't my plan
To pick on poor Moore
To make her endure
But she responds with such brave elan

Fear not; my historical series
(Whereof our dear Barbara wearies)
Is now at an end,
So if it offend,
Then at least it is done with, my dearies.

 

[montycrusto]

Of Bonnie Wee Barb there’s a ballad,
In which she disports across Caled-
-Onian history,
Legend and mystery,
Shame it’s such awful word-salad!

 

[Barbaria1]

(Whereof our dear Barbara wearies)

Twenty limericks is a lot. Happy to know that I’ve outlasted you. Smiling.

 

[montycrusto]

Twenty limericks is a lot. Happy to know that I’ve outlasted you. Smiling.

Quite a magnum octopus really! But.. as the saying goes, you’re worth it!
personally I think it deserves the Nobel Prize for Literature

 

[Madiosi]

Twenty limericks is a lot. Happy to know that I’ve outlasted you. Smiling.

The blue state Barb,
is truly very smart.
A few words as a bait,
and the males cant wait,
to limericks write.

 

[Barbaria1]

personally I think it deserves the Nobel Prize for Literature

Category: “Junk Verse”

 

[montycrusto]

Category: “Junk Verse”

Hey, you weren’t supposed to see that, it was in small print! Anyway I’m only stopping because I’ve covered literally every single event in Scottish history, so there!