Limericks

[windar]

Quite a magnum octopus really! But.. as the saying goes, you’re worth it!
personally I think it deserves the Nobel Prize for Literature

Category: “Junk Verse”

Nobel Prize? They already gave that to one fellow from Minnesota...

But perhaps Madi would like to collect some of the worst ones here for the archives...

 

[montycrusto]

Oh bugger, I left out Culloden!

the Ballad of Bonnie Wee Barb (21)

The battlefield known as Culloden,
With the blood of the fallen was sodden.
Wee Barb didna say more,
But brandished a claymore;
The English said “Goodness, how modern!”

 

[Barbaria1]

Oh bugger, I left out Culloden!

the Ballad of Bonnie Wee Barb (21)

The battlefield known as Culloden,
With the blood of the fallen was sodden.
Wee Barb didna say more,
But brandished a claymore;
The English said “Goodness, how modern!”

Apparently there’s no end to Scottish defeats. They seem to have been as persistent as I am.

 

[montycrusto]

Apparently there’s no end to Scottish defeats. They seem to have been as persistent as I am.

I think they won the Battle of Bannockburn on penalties.

 

[twonines]

Bannockburn was won by the Bruce,
Barb and Monty have agreed to a truce.
Barb can take a view that`s holistic,
Return to matters masochistic,
And Monty put his wit to a different use.

 

[Barbaria1]

So sorry to see this end
You guys were on such a bend
I hope you’ll keep trying
New verses applying
I’ve plenty more demerits to send

 

[twonines]

Now that`s not a turn up, for sure,
Barb is always looking for Moore.
I`m not averse
To penning more verse,
But I`d rather whip her tight little, much more.

 

[Madiosi]

But perhaps Madi would like to collect some of the worst ones here for the archives...

I think not, to yet.

 

[Barbaria1]

At last this inane scourge of verse is dead.
I can wake each morning with little to dread
from Windar, twonines or Madi,
nor from Eul, and of course Monty.
No Moore need for demerits on this thread!

 

[Madiosi]

At last this inane scourge of verse is dead.
I can wake each morning with little to dread
from Windar, twonines or Madi,
nor from Eul, and of course Monty.
No Moore need for demerits on this thread!

The girl from Minnesota,
give for our verses not a jota.
And her demerits are never rare,
on our bottoms bare.
But Madi sometimes verses dare.

 

[montycrusto]

At last this inane scourge of verse is dead.
I can wake each morning with little to dread
from Windar, twonines or Madi,
nor from Eul, and of course Monty.
No Moore need for demerits on this thread!

Barb thinks she’s safe from assault,
That my stanzas have come to a halt.
But I’ve infinite stocks
In my Pandora’s Box,
I’m generous, I guess, to a fault.

 

[montycrusto]

So let the demerits come,
I value them higher than some.
And all I need do
Is remark on Barb’s tu-
Mescent nipples and tight little bum.

 

[twonines]

There`s no end to this Limerick curse,
With things proceeding from bad to worse.
With Barb and with Madi,
And Monty the daddy,
All frequently resorting to verse.

 

[montycrusto]

Barb was once rowing a boat,
With a gentleman worthy of note.
She said “Be so kind
As to spank my behind,
And I’ll take your whole cock down my throat!”

 

[twonines]

I must admit, just the same,
It`s a very amusing game.
My efforts are mental,
With Barb, I`m quite gentle,
But still take my share of the blame!

 

[Wragg]

Barb was once rowing a boat,
With a gentleman worthy of note.
She said “Be so kind
As to spank my behind,
And I’ll take your whole cock down my throat!”

With stories like this one I've found
That Barb has invariably frowned,
And so I can say
In a confident way:
'Beware! There are demerits inbound!'

 

[montycrusto]

With stories like this one I've found
That Barb has invariably frowned,
And so I can say
In a confident way:
'Beware! There are demerits inbound!'

Demerits to me are like treasure,
The pursuit of which takes up my leisure.
And if I should die,
I would most like to lie
‘Neath a stone that reads “Caused Much Displeasure.”

 

[Barbaria1]

My demerits do cause such a furor
But seldom do much as a curer
The verses they keep flying
There’s no sign of them dying
Next time my aim will be surer

 

[Madiosi]

We've a girl from Minneapolis.
Sometimes I think, its not right,
to neck the girl with verses write.
But on my shoulder a little devil
will bring me then to the next level.

 

[twonines]

This thread I`ve carefully tracked,
And Wragg is now in on the act.
His last little ditty,
Was certainly witty,
That`s an indisputable fact.