Limericks

[Wragg]

Now Barb, as a subject of verse
Appears to be getting quite terse
Her usual wiles
Just cause Monty's smiles
Can her problems become any worse?

 

[twonines]

Barb shows no sign of vanity,
Displaying her obvious humanity
By responding in verse,
Declining to curse,
And refraining from using profanity.

 

[Barbaria1]

Will this thread ever become stale
One would think good sense might prevail
But the rhyming goes on
From dusk until dawn
No way will it ever derail

 

[montycrusto]

Barb said “On CF I’m a mod,
Where nobody thought it was odd,
That I made in a flash
The entire website crash..
Let’s face it, I’m basically God!”

 

[Barbaria1]

Monty must be drunk
To write such total bunk
I committed no crime
To say so is slime
The guy’s a total skunk

 

[montycrusto]

God said “let there be light!”,
But Barb replied “Nah, that’s too bright.
If I were you,
I’d say Let there be blue,
I dunno why, it just feels right.”

 

[Wragg]

Barb said “On CF I’m a mod,
Where nobody thought it was odd,
That I made in a flash
The entire website crash..
Let’s face it, I’m basically God!”

His stanzas are filling my disk
Because they are funny and brisk
But say what you will,
A good thing or ill
He knows how to take quite a risk!

 

[twonines]

For demerits, Monty is trying so hard,
Give him an inch, he`ll take a yard.
In this mad mash,
He refers to "The Crash"
And thinks he`s played his trump card.

 

[montycrusto]

For demerits, Monty is trying so hard,
Give him an inch, he`ll take a yard.
In this mad mash,
He refers to "The Crash"
And thinks he`s played his trump card.

Whenever I hear “a trump card”,
I feel quite emotionally scarred,
The word makes me queasy,
You know, it’s not easy,
Being a Leftist Lib-Tard!

 

[twonines]

In this case it`s quite plain to see,
That the trump has a small "t"
So despite any notions,
Control your emotions,
And from politics keep the thread free.

 

[montycrusto]

While sailing the Suez Canal,
Barb surveyed the instrument panal.
A lever she spied,
Labelled “Veer to one side”
She thought “Why not? Going forward is banal”

 

[twonines]

If to this policy you adhere,
Monty, you`re in trouble I fear.
Barb, though masochistic,
Will just go ballistic,
And issue demerits on here.

 

[montycrusto]

If to this policy you adhere,
Monty, you`re in trouble I fear.
Barb, though masochistic,
Will just go ballistic,
And issue demerits on here.

On this thread my habitual schtick,
Is to poke our dear Barb with a stick.
They say sticks and stones
Can break someone’s bones
But far worse is a rude Limerick.

 

[twonines]

I admit, I like my Limericks rude,
They can even verge on the crude.
But Barb, I respect,
So I`m more circumspect,
When in verse to her, I allude.

 

[Barbaria1]

Dear Monty there’s nowhere to hide
As my missiles seek your backside
It’s not nice to be rude
Same for nasty and crude
For this must I always you chide?

 

[Wragg]

The theme of this thread takes a leap
Demerits may come in a heap.
Yes, Barb we do bash
For the great '13 crash
But the Suez Canal? That is steep.

 

[twonines]

The theme of this thread takes a leap
Demerits may come in a heap.
Yes, Barb we do bash
For the great '13 crash
But the Suez Canal? That is steep.

Wragg, your Limericks, muster, all pass,
Often, showing their class.
They all are so clever,
And rarely, if ever,
Refer to Barb`s tight little ass!

 

[Wragg]

And rarely, if ever,
Refer to Barb`s tight little ass!

I'm glad that is how it appears
For I've worked with our Barb for some years
I've learned to be clever
And avoid regions nether
I find that it saves me from tears.

 

[montycrusto]

In the garden of Eden (we read)
God told Eve and Adam to breed.
Then Barb came along,
Said “you’re doing it wrong!
Just suck, but don’t swallow his seed!”

 

[twonines]

For one who claims to be woke,
Are you now sorry you spoke?
Barb says she won`t swallow?
Are her claims hollow?
Or is this just a sick joke?