Okay, I could use some advice. Ive been single for about 6 years. I'm getting close to fifty now but in the best shape of my life. I'm kind of living my best life right now. I am not looking for a quick hook up or even necessarily a romantic relatinoship. I am after years of keeping my kinks to myself, wanting to meet like mindned people. I am an hour or two depending on what side of the city from Houston and Austin. Houston used to have a long time ago a society for BDSM that had mixers for people interested where they can get to know each other in a less formal setting. Now all I can find is clubs or studios that you aren't even giving the address to until you book. Kind of sketchy in my opinion but I understand the need for discretion. Still not looking to pay for kinks, just want to meet like minded people. Do social groups liek that still exist and how would I go about fnding them?
For context, I am a male sadist. I can totally sympathize with you because only now that I am in my 40s do I feel truly comfortable with my kinks, and as a result I have been having the best sex of my life lately! It's been tremendously rewarding. After years of not being fully in tune with my kinks, now I am completely comfortable with discussing my kinks and introducing them in bed. The people I have been playing with lately are both people whom I met at bars, and to whom then at some point when it felt right I brought up what I was into. I told one of them about my kinks a few weeks after I met her, if I remember correctly. At that point, I had not yet done anything sexual with her, but she seemed obviously wild and open-minded and comfortable with me about discussing sexuality so I brought it up with her. The other one, we went to bed together a couple of hours after we first met, and I mentioned my kinks to her within maybe like 10 minutes of us starting to have fun with each other in bed. She responded positively to what I said, so I took it from there.
Of course for women, meeting people for sex might be a bit different than for men because, since men tend to be physically stronger and more frequently antisocial than women, women often understandably feel a need to be super-sure that the situation is truly safe before going home with someone. I think that this is a valid feeling and should be respected. There are, unfortunately, many crazy guys out there.
I myself also, like you, am curious about good options to meet like-minded people. I've been thinking about trying FetLife or munches, but I don't have any experience with them so far so am not sure how that would go. Anyway, good luck and I hope that you have a lot of great, safe, exciting fun!