WilliamMarwood
Spectator
Story written for sunday fun:
In one American county, drivers got out of control even before the Great Depression... Going on the city streets became dangerous and fines were no effective. Local authorities tried radical solutions... So some of drivers were quite surprised in first contact with police:
- Mr. Constable!, why are you taking my car keys, shoes and stockings? Call the sheriff! I told you that the fine is not a problem for me! I will pay it immediately!
- That's the point, Madame... A fine is not a problem, road pirates pay and go on their rampage... That's why the authorities of our city decided to add twenty strokes with the stick in the bare feet of anyone who accelerates too much in a built-up area... In public and for example. This makes drivers treat the gas pedal much more gently...
- What kind of idea is this? It's illegal! It's undemocratic! Call the sheriff immediately!
- Well... No, Madame... The Supreme Court found it very democratic: people have different wallets but more or less the same feet. Please wait, we'll call the audience, bring everything we need and the sheriff will take care of you...
Shocking therapy was effective: road pirates go in the other places.
Decades later, the problem returned for other reasons, so the authorities reached for proven solutions... But this time everything turned out differently, as stated in the report presented at the city hall meeting:
(Transcript of official speech)
Ladies and Gentlemen, we can now summarize the results of the legal experiment in our county. As a reminder:
as you know we haven't been able to stop the plague of road hogs who do not care about fines for a long time.
Therefore, the county authorities decided that people exceeding the speed limit in built-up areas, in addition to the traditional fine, will be punished with a public flogging of up to twenty lashes and barefoot exposure at the place where the crime was committed for a period of 4 hours.
The observations give as much cause for concern as for satisfaction.
Within 6 months of the new law being in force, the number of accident victims decreased significantly and the percentage of perpetrators caught increased from 10% to 100%.
(applause in the hall)
However, that's where the good news ends.
After half a year of using the new regulations, the number of speeding violations has not decreased... In fact, it has increased by 20%.
Another change was also noticeable: in the past, speeding were most often committed by young men under the influence of alcohol or drugs. After the introduction of new regulations, sober women came to the forefront of the shameful statistics. What's worse they came from almost the entire state. You could call it tourism of road hogs.
An increase in detection was noted because after exceeding the speed limit just before the police station, they stop and turn themselves in to the police. This part of our city has become a zone of increased danger on the streets. Fortunately, there have been no casualties so far. There was also the problem of recidivists... or rather female recidivists. A significant part is caught three or four times. The record holder visits every three weeks and has been punished eight times.
The sheriff, whose duties include administering the sentence, has resigned for family reasons and is planning to move. Unofficially, there is talk of his wife's jealousy.
However, the profitability of bars in the area of the most frequent violations of regulations has improved significantly, especially during the hours of punishment for traffic offenses. It has been noticed that former notorious road pirates now spend much more time there than behind the wheel.
(Question from the audience: Can this be used to promote our city? left unanswered by the speaker)
The police have not yet determined whether this has anything to do with unofficial beauty rankings organized in bars around places particularly vulnerable to road accidents and the associated punishment.
Road hog eradication program - case 001
- I have a private question for you... If it's not a problem... I mean, my curiosity is both professional... and private... However, I can't ask such questions officially... and I wouldn't like to offend you... If If you don't want to answer, please don't be angry...
- Just ask, sheriff... I can no answer...
- Well, this is the fourth time we've caught you... and the traces of the previous flogging haven't disappeared yet... It's no secret... counting from the second time, we always catch you in a bathing suit or sunbathing dress, regardless of the weather...
- Are you asking about the dress? You just damaged the first one, I don't want to risk another one.
- Actually, I wanted to ask if you deliberately exceed the speed limit here due to the criminal jurisprudence in such cases in force here?
- Sheriff, allow me not to answer that question. Now do your job instead of talking so much.
Road hog eradication program - case 002: And the serpent said to Eve...
- Madame, you are here every two weeks!
- Oh, sheriff, the most important thing is that no one was hurt, when I drive too fast...
- Luckily! But next time we'll put you in chains and keep you for a few days. Or in the basement, if that doesn't stop you!
- Oh, Sheriff, you know how to tempt a woman...
Road hog eradication program - case 003: Support your local sheriff or go to help to another sheriff!
- Ma'am, it is not necessary to completely remove your blouse to administer the punishment. Just reveal your back a little.
- But I am a decent citizen and I cooperate with the police. Especially in the prosecution of road traffic offences.
- Yes, we really appreciate that you got caught right away... But honestly, we would prefer if you just didn't commit them. Is it so hard not to speed? Especially right in front of the police station?
- If I think about everything that comes with it... I must admit that it is very difficult to stop myself. Especially the thought of the feel of those cold chains in today's weather makes me want to drive carelessly.
Road hog eradication program - case nr 004
"Would you please wait here. I will keep your shoes, keys, all your personal belongings and documents at the police station. The sheriff is out of town at the moment, but he will be there within half an hour... He will take care of all the formalities... and the flogging itself won't take too long, I assure you. Anyway... according to the judge's verdict, you will be stuck here for the entire afternoon."
Road hog eradication program - case nr 005:
– Tifteenth! End. And now you will stay here until the evening, we will release you at 7 p.m. I hope that since this is our fourth meeting, you will go straight home without any further speeding violations.
– I think so, Sheriff... I'm little tired... Thank you... Thank you for the lessons... I have to tell you... You look great in police uniform and with the whip... And my the last question: Can you tell me what you're doing... let's say... In 3 days in the evening?
In one American county, drivers got out of control even before the Great Depression... Going on the city streets became dangerous and fines were no effective. Local authorities tried radical solutions... So some of drivers were quite surprised in first contact with police:
- Mr. Constable!, why are you taking my car keys, shoes and stockings? Call the sheriff! I told you that the fine is not a problem for me! I will pay it immediately!
- That's the point, Madame... A fine is not a problem, road pirates pay and go on their rampage... That's why the authorities of our city decided to add twenty strokes with the stick in the bare feet of anyone who accelerates too much in a built-up area... In public and for example. This makes drivers treat the gas pedal much more gently...
- What kind of idea is this? It's illegal! It's undemocratic! Call the sheriff immediately!
- Well... No, Madame... The Supreme Court found it very democratic: people have different wallets but more or less the same feet. Please wait, we'll call the audience, bring everything we need and the sheriff will take care of you...
Shocking therapy was effective: road pirates go in the other places.
Decades later, the problem returned for other reasons, so the authorities reached for proven solutions... But this time everything turned out differently, as stated in the report presented at the city hall meeting:
(Transcript of official speech)
Ladies and Gentlemen, we can now summarize the results of the legal experiment in our county. As a reminder:
as you know we haven't been able to stop the plague of road hogs who do not care about fines for a long time.
Therefore, the county authorities decided that people exceeding the speed limit in built-up areas, in addition to the traditional fine, will be punished with a public flogging of up to twenty lashes and barefoot exposure at the place where the crime was committed for a period of 4 hours.
The observations give as much cause for concern as for satisfaction.
Within 6 months of the new law being in force, the number of accident victims decreased significantly and the percentage of perpetrators caught increased from 10% to 100%.
(applause in the hall)
However, that's where the good news ends.
After half a year of using the new regulations, the number of speeding violations has not decreased... In fact, it has increased by 20%.
Another change was also noticeable: in the past, speeding were most often committed by young men under the influence of alcohol or drugs. After the introduction of new regulations, sober women came to the forefront of the shameful statistics. What's worse they came from almost the entire state. You could call it tourism of road hogs.
An increase in detection was noted because after exceeding the speed limit just before the police station, they stop and turn themselves in to the police. This part of our city has become a zone of increased danger on the streets. Fortunately, there have been no casualties so far. There was also the problem of recidivists... or rather female recidivists. A significant part is caught three or four times. The record holder visits every three weeks and has been punished eight times.
The sheriff, whose duties include administering the sentence, has resigned for family reasons and is planning to move. Unofficially, there is talk of his wife's jealousy.
However, the profitability of bars in the area of the most frequent violations of regulations has improved significantly, especially during the hours of punishment for traffic offenses. It has been noticed that former notorious road pirates now spend much more time there than behind the wheel.
(Question from the audience: Can this be used to promote our city? left unanswered by the speaker)
The police have not yet determined whether this has anything to do with unofficial beauty rankings organized in bars around places particularly vulnerable to road accidents and the associated punishment.
Road hog eradication program - case 001
- I have a private question for you... If it's not a problem... I mean, my curiosity is both professional... and private... However, I can't ask such questions officially... and I wouldn't like to offend you... If If you don't want to answer, please don't be angry...
- Just ask, sheriff... I can no answer...
- Well, this is the fourth time we've caught you... and the traces of the previous flogging haven't disappeared yet... It's no secret... counting from the second time, we always catch you in a bathing suit or sunbathing dress, regardless of the weather...
- Are you asking about the dress? You just damaged the first one, I don't want to risk another one.
- Actually, I wanted to ask if you deliberately exceed the speed limit here due to the criminal jurisprudence in such cases in force here?
- Sheriff, allow me not to answer that question. Now do your job instead of talking so much.
Road hog eradication program - case 002: And the serpent said to Eve...
- Madame, you are here every two weeks!
- Oh, sheriff, the most important thing is that no one was hurt, when I drive too fast...
- Luckily! But next time we'll put you in chains and keep you for a few days. Or in the basement, if that doesn't stop you!
- Oh, Sheriff, you know how to tempt a woman...
Road hog eradication program - case 003: Support your local sheriff or go to help to another sheriff!
- Ma'am, it is not necessary to completely remove your blouse to administer the punishment. Just reveal your back a little.
- But I am a decent citizen and I cooperate with the police. Especially in the prosecution of road traffic offences.
- Yes, we really appreciate that you got caught right away... But honestly, we would prefer if you just didn't commit them. Is it so hard not to speed? Especially right in front of the police station?
- If I think about everything that comes with it... I must admit that it is very difficult to stop myself. Especially the thought of the feel of those cold chains in today's weather makes me want to drive carelessly.
Road hog eradication program - case nr 004
"Would you please wait here. I will keep your shoes, keys, all your personal belongings and documents at the police station. The sheriff is out of town at the moment, but he will be there within half an hour... He will take care of all the formalities... and the flogging itself won't take too long, I assure you. Anyway... according to the judge's verdict, you will be stuck here for the entire afternoon."
Road hog eradication program - case nr 005:
– Tifteenth! End. And now you will stay here until the evening, we will release you at 7 p.m. I hope that since this is our fourth meeting, you will go straight home without any further speeding violations.
– I think so, Sheriff... I'm little tired... Thank you... Thank you for the lessons... I have to tell you... You look great in police uniform and with the whip... And my the last question: Can you tell me what you're doing... let's say... In 3 days in the evening?
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