Georg
Magistrate
Chapter 1. History lesson.
Joshua drove into Sinville on his trusty electric donkey. Sinville was a run-down resort town in the small confederate state Cruxiana. So small that it is almost impossible to find it on the world map unless you have a developed imagination. A slender, golden-haired young man of 22 years old, dressed in a plaid shirt, jeans and moccasins, tied his bike to a palm tree near an ancient temple.
-Hey, hurry up if you don't want to miss Sunday school class again!- A blonde woman in her early 30s, dressed in some kind of police uniform, called out to him. On the occasion of the summer season, the sleeves of the white blouse were short, and the black skirt just above the knees did not hide the slender legs wrapped in stockings.
-Of course I'll teach a lesson, if that's what such a strict lady officer tells me to do. - Joshua smiled.
- Will you do it? Although, wait, you're not one of my charges. - The woman was confused.
- I am Joshua, a historian. I graduated from the university and am now collecting materials for a dissertation on the history of religion. And what do you need to do to become your ward?
- For example, smashing a boutique window to steal an expensive swimsuit for your girlfriend. I, Valeria, work in the youth crime prevention department. - Valeria held out her hand, which Joshua elegantly kissed. - How lucky it is to meet an educated young man here now, because unfortunately in our city there are only those guys and girls who do not want to study, but prefer to live on welfare and earn money for cheap entertainment with petty crimes. I'm already tired of lecturing them, so maybe you can do something.
-Everyone carries their own cross, - Joshua said as he entered the cathedral.
White and black young men in torn jeans and T-shirts and brightly made-up girls in short skirts sat slackly on the benches.
- It's amazing that you can see so many young parishioners somewhere now. Joshua commented on the picturesque gathering, making a sign in front of the altar.
- Oh, no, I just make them beg for forgiveness of their sins. Valeria almost hissed, fervently crossing herself in front of the image of the Savior.
- So, my dear blockheads, today our guest, historian Joshua, will teach you a lesson in true faith. I hope this will serve as an example for you.
- Guys and girls, let's ask ourselves, what would have happened if Jesus hadn't died for all of us two thousand years ago?
- Well, like, we'd be sinners. - some impudent guy drawled. Laughter rippled through the room.
- What makes a person moral is his actions. Confucius, Buddha and the prophet Muhammad also sought to reduce the amount of evil in the world, as did the fathers of the Church, regardless of the atoning sacrifice. So do you really want God to die just because you are too lazy to take even a step towards saving your own soul?
-We don't want that, do we? - Valeria supported the speaker.
- Imagine, one noble Roman patrician, Claudius, the great-nephew of Augustus himself, a historian, like me, traveling through the East of the empire, found a star that had fallen from the sky. He was able to decipher the heavenly language and flew to Rome in a heavenly chariot as the Divine Claudius. The machines found in the spaceship, copying themselves, would have built other machines, crushing stone, mining ores, laying roads and water pipes, printing houses out of cement. Rome would no longer need slaves and the empire would realize the dream of Arcadia. People would hardly have to work, it would be enough to harvest fruit trees and graze cattle. Medical devices in the temples of Asclepius would treat people from diseases, contraceptive pessaries and silphii would allow controlling the population. Soporific gases would have avoided casualties in the war and even wars would have stopped when the entire Ecumene would have been divided into provinces of the empire. In the absence of serious property conflicts, an intelligent video surveillance system would allow the immortal emperor to maintain order and prosperity with a very small staff of assistants, establishing reasonable laws obliging to compensate for any damage caused proportionately. But would you pay divine honors to an earthly ruler?
- Let the emperor fuck himself, we have it all! - some slave shook his pigtails.
- It's very rude, but true. Claudius would just be a reasonable and kind person who used his power correctly. People who are not lazy to study and work themselves can create all this equipment for the common good. Couldn't we live in an earthly paradise?
- In paradise, people went naked! - squeaked a black girl sitting with a guy in dreadlocks.
- Look, and our Savior is naked. The Creator of the world has descended to the lowest in his creation. Claudius was not the first to find a fallen star. The first was the young wife of a simple carpenter. But she did not understand anything about technology, but, being a kind and gentle woman, she took the baby found in the ship for upbringing. When the boy grew up and became a carpenter, like his adoptive father, the good Claudius already ruled the Ecumene, commanding his uncle Tiberius to bring the peoples to submission with new weapons. Peace reigned everywhere, although not everyone was happy with it. But according to the laws of Claudius, only death was punishable by death, and precisely because the number of death sentences sharply decreased, the need for crosses for crucifixions increased dramatically, so that carpenters had a lot of work.
-But wasn't crucifixion the death penalty?- A girl dressed up like a street whore exclaimed in surprise.
- Not at all. Crucifixion was originally an initiation rite. Guys and girls who were ripe for love were hung with ropes from a tree between heaven and earth and tortured so that they could prove their endurance by experiencing the torments of a second birth. Then the crucifixion became a sacrifice. Finally, became a execution. The refusal to use expensive nails returned the crucifixion to its original meaning. Those hanging on the tree of shame were freed from all earthly obligations, but they did not deserve heaven because they were deprived of dignity in agony. Therefore, crucifixion has become very widely applied to runaway slaves and slave-girls, to rapists and prostitutes. After the obligatory removal from the cross before sunset, the sinners who survived the crucifixion were doomed to live in shame.
- Does the crucifixion hurt a lot if it doesn't have nails? - The girl with the piercing asked timidly.
- Nails are senseless cruelty that brings death from blood loss closer. Crucifixion with ropes allowed you to experience quite severe pain for much longer. Hanging by wide-spread arms, the victim experiences a slow strangulation, as in hanging, only stretched out for long hours. Therefore, for a long crucifixion, it is necessary to create a small foothold, but causing as much pain as possible and not allowing you to fully straighten your legs. Nails between the toes are quite suitable, creating exactly the same pressure, causing noticeable and increasing pain. Crucified people strain their muscles in order to inhale another sip of pain and such an obscene dance can last for a whole day or even longer. I am sure that all the strong guys and slender girls present here will be able to withstand a whole day of crucifixion with ropes without harm to their health, having experienced even more than a young carpenter who happened to try out a cross of his own making, although he deserved crucifixion less than all of us.
- I think I know this story. - The guy who had been skeptical from the very beginning yawned.
- If the divine Claudius had been the emperor, the famous plot would have looked different. A virtuous carpenter, having built three crosses, met a girl whom the evil fanatics of the old faith wanted to stone for adultery, although she was guilty only of giving her love to everyone and did not refuse gifts. By asking who was sinless enough to be the first to throw a stone, he saved both the girl and her persecutors from death. Telling the harlot not to sin anymore, he let her go in peace, but the girl did not want to give up the temptations and the next day she was sentenced to crucifixion as a whore. Together with the harlot, the rapist and the captive barbarian girl were sentenced to crucifixion. However, custom required that men and women be crucified equally, because those sentenced to crucifixion themselves whip each other, and men whip women, and women whip men. Then the harlot began to beg the guy who saved her yesterday to flog her for debauchery as cruelly as possible and he agreed to voluntarily sacrifice himself on the cross for the sake of atoning for the sin of a single sinner. But there were three crosses, so mercy was shown in honor of the holiday and the audience was asked to choose which of the four to save from the crucifixion. It is natural to show mercy to an innocent person, but the mood of the crowd is changeable. Why deprive a guy of a cross who wants to be crucified himself and is ready to whip a beautiful girl. A whore and a rapist deserve a shameful crucifixion, and everyone liked the barbarian's fearlessness. The brave barbarian girl was freed from the cross, but she still had to be stripped naked and publicly flogged. The barbarian girl was willingly flogged by the rapist. The rapist was flogged by a harlot who knew a lot about flogging men. But the harlot was mercilessly whipped by the most innocent of all four, because love can be given to everyone, but it cannot be sold to anyone. And he, too, was flogged by a barbarian who loved to flog no less than to receive a spanking. Then all four went naked to the place of the crucifixion, carrying the crossbars of their crosses on their shoulders. First, the harlot and the barbarian crucified the rapist. Then the savior of the harlot once again worked as her executioner, and was himself crucified by the barbarian girl. The barbarian girl remained to guard the crucified and sometimes give them a drink, and she had no right to clothes until the end of the execution. An innocent man, crucified between a rapist and a whore, told her that if she loved him, she would immediately be with him in paradise. The shameful pain of crucifixion next to her beloved became a pleasure for the libertine stronger than orgasm. A barbarian girl and a rapist, as well as passing onlookers, mocked a couple of lovers indecently writhing on crosses next to each other, but sincere love turns even humiliation into joy. At sunset, the barbarian took the crucified from the crosses and the four of them spent the night in a cave. The rapist and the barbarian were crucified again a few days later, and the harlot and her savior got married and left for the other end of the Ecumene, in a string of meadows and grapes, where they lived happily in love and harmony. And now think about how things were in our world, if some apocrypha believe the French Merovingian kings to be descendants of Jesus and Mary Magdalene, and the myth of Christ was created by the Apostle Paul?
-I'm going to arrest you for blasphemy!- Valeria screamed.
- Let the romantic story of Jesus and Mary be the only thing that made your wards' eyes shine, but don't be shy, arrest me right in the temple, it will also be a moral lesson! - Joshua humbly held out his hands, on which the bracelets snapped.
Valeria quickly led the sardonically grinning Joshua to the exit.
- Get on your "donkey", I'll tell you where to go - the fury abruptly threw, and sat on the saddle from behind, hugging her prisoner tightly by the torso.
- Here, bitch, I wish I was in this guy's place! - A young black man with pigtails whistled.
-Hey, hurry up if you don't want to miss Sunday school class again!- A blonde woman in her early 30s, dressed in some kind of police uniform, called out to him. On the occasion of the summer season, the sleeves of the white blouse were short, and the black skirt just above the knees did not hide the slender legs wrapped in stockings.
-Of course I'll teach a lesson, if that's what such a strict lady officer tells me to do. - Joshua smiled.
- Will you do it? Although, wait, you're not one of my charges. - The woman was confused.
- I am Joshua, a historian. I graduated from the university and am now collecting materials for a dissertation on the history of religion. And what do you need to do to become your ward?
- For example, smashing a boutique window to steal an expensive swimsuit for your girlfriend. I, Valeria, work in the youth crime prevention department. - Valeria held out her hand, which Joshua elegantly kissed. - How lucky it is to meet an educated young man here now, because unfortunately in our city there are only those guys and girls who do not want to study, but prefer to live on welfare and earn money for cheap entertainment with petty crimes. I'm already tired of lecturing them, so maybe you can do something.
-Everyone carries their own cross, - Joshua said as he entered the cathedral.
White and black young men in torn jeans and T-shirts and brightly made-up girls in short skirts sat slackly on the benches.
- It's amazing that you can see so many young parishioners somewhere now. Joshua commented on the picturesque gathering, making a sign in front of the altar.
- Oh, no, I just make them beg for forgiveness of their sins. Valeria almost hissed, fervently crossing herself in front of the image of the Savior.
- So, my dear blockheads, today our guest, historian Joshua, will teach you a lesson in true faith. I hope this will serve as an example for you.
- Guys and girls, let's ask ourselves, what would have happened if Jesus hadn't died for all of us two thousand years ago?
- Well, like, we'd be sinners. - some impudent guy drawled. Laughter rippled through the room.
- What makes a person moral is his actions. Confucius, Buddha and the prophet Muhammad also sought to reduce the amount of evil in the world, as did the fathers of the Church, regardless of the atoning sacrifice. So do you really want God to die just because you are too lazy to take even a step towards saving your own soul?
-We don't want that, do we? - Valeria supported the speaker.
- Imagine, one noble Roman patrician, Claudius, the great-nephew of Augustus himself, a historian, like me, traveling through the East of the empire, found a star that had fallen from the sky. He was able to decipher the heavenly language and flew to Rome in a heavenly chariot as the Divine Claudius. The machines found in the spaceship, copying themselves, would have built other machines, crushing stone, mining ores, laying roads and water pipes, printing houses out of cement. Rome would no longer need slaves and the empire would realize the dream of Arcadia. People would hardly have to work, it would be enough to harvest fruit trees and graze cattle. Medical devices in the temples of Asclepius would treat people from diseases, contraceptive pessaries and silphii would allow controlling the population. Soporific gases would have avoided casualties in the war and even wars would have stopped when the entire Ecumene would have been divided into provinces of the empire. In the absence of serious property conflicts, an intelligent video surveillance system would allow the immortal emperor to maintain order and prosperity with a very small staff of assistants, establishing reasonable laws obliging to compensate for any damage caused proportionately. But would you pay divine honors to an earthly ruler?
- Let the emperor fuck himself, we have it all! - some slave shook his pigtails.
- It's very rude, but true. Claudius would just be a reasonable and kind person who used his power correctly. People who are not lazy to study and work themselves can create all this equipment for the common good. Couldn't we live in an earthly paradise?
- In paradise, people went naked! - squeaked a black girl sitting with a guy in dreadlocks.
- Look, and our Savior is naked. The Creator of the world has descended to the lowest in his creation. Claudius was not the first to find a fallen star. The first was the young wife of a simple carpenter. But she did not understand anything about technology, but, being a kind and gentle woman, she took the baby found in the ship for upbringing. When the boy grew up and became a carpenter, like his adoptive father, the good Claudius already ruled the Ecumene, commanding his uncle Tiberius to bring the peoples to submission with new weapons. Peace reigned everywhere, although not everyone was happy with it. But according to the laws of Claudius, only death was punishable by death, and precisely because the number of death sentences sharply decreased, the need for crosses for crucifixions increased dramatically, so that carpenters had a lot of work.
-But wasn't crucifixion the death penalty?- A girl dressed up like a street whore exclaimed in surprise.
- Not at all. Crucifixion was originally an initiation rite. Guys and girls who were ripe for love were hung with ropes from a tree between heaven and earth and tortured so that they could prove their endurance by experiencing the torments of a second birth. Then the crucifixion became a sacrifice. Finally, became a execution. The refusal to use expensive nails returned the crucifixion to its original meaning. Those hanging on the tree of shame were freed from all earthly obligations, but they did not deserve heaven because they were deprived of dignity in agony. Therefore, crucifixion has become very widely applied to runaway slaves and slave-girls, to rapists and prostitutes. After the obligatory removal from the cross before sunset, the sinners who survived the crucifixion were doomed to live in shame.
- Does the crucifixion hurt a lot if it doesn't have nails? - The girl with the piercing asked timidly.
- Nails are senseless cruelty that brings death from blood loss closer. Crucifixion with ropes allowed you to experience quite severe pain for much longer. Hanging by wide-spread arms, the victim experiences a slow strangulation, as in hanging, only stretched out for long hours. Therefore, for a long crucifixion, it is necessary to create a small foothold, but causing as much pain as possible and not allowing you to fully straighten your legs. Nails between the toes are quite suitable, creating exactly the same pressure, causing noticeable and increasing pain. Crucified people strain their muscles in order to inhale another sip of pain and such an obscene dance can last for a whole day or even longer. I am sure that all the strong guys and slender girls present here will be able to withstand a whole day of crucifixion with ropes without harm to their health, having experienced even more than a young carpenter who happened to try out a cross of his own making, although he deserved crucifixion less than all of us.
- I think I know this story. - The guy who had been skeptical from the very beginning yawned.
- If the divine Claudius had been the emperor, the famous plot would have looked different. A virtuous carpenter, having built three crosses, met a girl whom the evil fanatics of the old faith wanted to stone for adultery, although she was guilty only of giving her love to everyone and did not refuse gifts. By asking who was sinless enough to be the first to throw a stone, he saved both the girl and her persecutors from death. Telling the harlot not to sin anymore, he let her go in peace, but the girl did not want to give up the temptations and the next day she was sentenced to crucifixion as a whore. Together with the harlot, the rapist and the captive barbarian girl were sentenced to crucifixion. However, custom required that men and women be crucified equally, because those sentenced to crucifixion themselves whip each other, and men whip women, and women whip men. Then the harlot began to beg the guy who saved her yesterday to flog her for debauchery as cruelly as possible and he agreed to voluntarily sacrifice himself on the cross for the sake of atoning for the sin of a single sinner. But there were three crosses, so mercy was shown in honor of the holiday and the audience was asked to choose which of the four to save from the crucifixion. It is natural to show mercy to an innocent person, but the mood of the crowd is changeable. Why deprive a guy of a cross who wants to be crucified himself and is ready to whip a beautiful girl. A whore and a rapist deserve a shameful crucifixion, and everyone liked the barbarian's fearlessness. The brave barbarian girl was freed from the cross, but she still had to be stripped naked and publicly flogged. The barbarian girl was willingly flogged by the rapist. The rapist was flogged by a harlot who knew a lot about flogging men. But the harlot was mercilessly whipped by the most innocent of all four, because love can be given to everyone, but it cannot be sold to anyone. And he, too, was flogged by a barbarian who loved to flog no less than to receive a spanking. Then all four went naked to the place of the crucifixion, carrying the crossbars of their crosses on their shoulders. First, the harlot and the barbarian crucified the rapist. Then the savior of the harlot once again worked as her executioner, and was himself crucified by the barbarian girl. The barbarian girl remained to guard the crucified and sometimes give them a drink, and she had no right to clothes until the end of the execution. An innocent man, crucified between a rapist and a whore, told her that if she loved him, she would immediately be with him in paradise. The shameful pain of crucifixion next to her beloved became a pleasure for the libertine stronger than orgasm. A barbarian girl and a rapist, as well as passing onlookers, mocked a couple of lovers indecently writhing on crosses next to each other, but sincere love turns even humiliation into joy. At sunset, the barbarian took the crucified from the crosses and the four of them spent the night in a cave. The rapist and the barbarian were crucified again a few days later, and the harlot and her savior got married and left for the other end of the Ecumene, in a string of meadows and grapes, where they lived happily in love and harmony. And now think about how things were in our world, if some apocrypha believe the French Merovingian kings to be descendants of Jesus and Mary Magdalene, and the myth of Christ was created by the Apostle Paul?
-I'm going to arrest you for blasphemy!- Valeria screamed.
- Let the romantic story of Jesus and Mary be the only thing that made your wards' eyes shine, but don't be shy, arrest me right in the temple, it will also be a moral lesson! - Joshua humbly held out his hands, on which the bracelets snapped.
Valeria quickly led the sardonically grinning Joshua to the exit.
- Get on your "donkey", I'll tell you where to go - the fury abruptly threw, and sat on the saddle from behind, hugging her prisoner tightly by the torso.
- Here, bitch, I wish I was in this guy's place! - A young black man with pigtails whistled.
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