Fantasmo
Senator
There are as many interpretations of this theme as there are people.both have to be
mixed in combination for the pleasure'fulfillment of two partners; It's this
melting which brings those wonderful orgasms obtained with my lover...
I couldn't do a mechanical BDSM, even if it is well done by a professional,
but without soul ...
Roughly BDSM can be split into two "worlds", even if reality is rather grey shades than black and white.
(Clarification: I am talking about lived BDSM here, not fantasy!)
1. True Sadists / Masochists.
Masters that are feeling a true sadistic pleasure in making others suffer or degrading them. Normally they don't care about their slaves and don't see them as a partner but rather as a thing.
The corresponding subs are people who feel pleasure by being abused.
Normally because of some desire for "self-punishment".
2. "Loving BDSM" (see "Story of O")
Of course it is still about domination, using and "abusing", but there are hidden layers.
There is a fundamental layer of trust and respect, also affection or even love. That needn't mean it is all vanilla!
The Dom is "using" the Sub, but keeps an eye on limits of the sub and has a hidden agenda to please her/him as well.
One can say "everybody his own", but...
It takes some disturbance to truly want to be abused without mercy and without any care for sexual pleasure.
And it takes some disturbance to take pleasure from hurting other people without caring if they take their pleasure or not.
Again: Talking about the executed act, not fantasy here.
Fantasy doesn't hurt, so it is beyond any judgment imho.
I sure have my share of rough fantasies and many of them are non consensual.
But what distinguishes sane people from the other is where they draw the separation line between fantasy and reality (or desire for reality).
Just my view of course.
Others, outside of the BDSM "world" will argue that it is sick to have such fantasies...
This loving/respectful BDSM is much more challenging for both and demands knowing each other.
But it is also much more rewarding imho.