They tied her arms to the cross-piece, and forced her out into the narrow, crowded street. Alice groaned beneath the weight.
Behind her, she was aware that two men would be keeping her company when she reached Golgotha. Briefly, she wondered what they had done, but she soon forgot them. She had troubles enough of her own.
It had been a struggle to get through this crowd only yesterday, with a basket of fruit as her only burden. Today, staggering beneath this beam towards an agonising death , in a state of near terror, Alice could barely make forward progress.
Alice had managed barely fifty yards of the journey to Golgotha when she saw her aunt. Her mother’s sister, Deborah, and she was standing right in front of her.
“Alice! What on earth are you doing? I hope you are carrying that for someone else?”
Alice came to a halt. “Aunt Deborah, you have to help me, they are going to crucify me!”
“Stand back, woman!” bawled the centurion. “Get out of the way!”
“Just a moment, officer – this girl is my niece!” Aunt Deborah was not a woman to be trifled with at the best of times. The centurion looked faintly shocked, but he remained in a temporary state of near eruption. Deborah didn’t have long.
“
Crucify you? Crucify
you? Why are they going to crucify you, Alice?”
“A Roman attacked me… I killed him, it was an accident, please Aunt, you have to believe me! It wasn’t my fault!”
“She stuck a knife in his heart,” added the centurion, wondering why he was having this conversation, “some ‘accident.’”
“Aunt! Please!”
“You stupid, selfish girl! Look at you! Twenty-three years old and you haven’t worked out that the Romans take what they want, and do what they want. Your poor mother – the shock of this will kill her! I must go to her now! And I hope, while you are hanging from your cross, you will think about what you’ve done to her! Go ahead, officer – do what you have to do!”
“Well, thank you kindly, ma’am,” said the centurion, with exaggerated deference, as Alice recoiled from the shock of her aunt’s words. She was completely alone in the world. There was no sign of her father, her aunt didn’t even care that she was going to be nailed to a cross, and now, suddenly, this cross seemed to weigh three times as much.
“Tell mum I’m sorry…” she wept. She staggered forward. Deborah watched her for a moment, then the enormity of what she had done struck her. Of course Alice had fought back. She would have done the same. It could have been her carrying a cross to Golgotha. Were her harsh words to be the last that passed between them? She ran forward, and grabbed Alice’s tattered tunic.
“Alice! Forgive me! How could I have been so cruel? I’m so sorry!”
“I’m too young to die, Aunt!”
I know you are, my sweet girl… let me get you some wine to dull the pain! Officer? Can I get her some wine? It’ll only take five minutes! I only live a short distance away!”
“Oh, Aunt, thank you. Would you? I’m dreading the pain! Please, sir, let me have some wine?”
“We’re not waiting!” The centurion had had enough. “We’ve dallied long enough already! No wine! Come on! Get moving!”The centurion encouraged Alice forward with his club.
There was no way she could make any faster progress. People were all round her, shrieking at her, taunting her, one man asking the centurion if he could take her home tonight and return her for crucifixion tomorrow.
Another yelled, “You have to be nude to be crucified! Get those clothes off!”
“Leave me alone!” Alice didn’t need reminding that she would probably be stark naked before much longer.
The centurion threatened the worst offenders with his club, but by now Alice was finding each step more difficult than the last. Exhausted, she sank to her knees.
The centurion, unsympathetic, was sure she was playing for time. He needed to get these three crucified and pronto.
“Get up, you lazy cow!”
“I can’t!” groaned Alice. “It’s too heavy!”
It seemed to the centurion that it would be evening before he got any crucifixions done, at this rate.
“You! Come here!” He singled out a bystander.
“What? What have I done?”
“Nothing – I need you to carry that. A favour for a lady.”
“How do I know you won’t crucify me instead?”
“If you don’t do as I say I
will find an excuse to crucify you!”
They removed the cross from Alice’s shoulders,
and placed it on those of the reluctant stranger.
The centurion dragged Alice off to one side, and waved the rest of the crucifixion party past.
“Why can’t I have some wine? I’ve heard them scream when they are crucified!”
“Forget it. If you think I’m letting you sit around sipping wine after this little charade, you have another think coming.”
“You bastard.”
“I’ve been called worse. Now! Get moving!” The centurion was shoving her forward once again.
“Alice!” Deborah’s voice, coming up the street behind. She’d been to get wine anyway. “Alice! Wait!”
Alice paused, but the centurion shoved her forward. “Stop that woman!” he ordered a legionary, “we’ve dithered enough already.”
The legionary swiftly intercepted Deborah, stopping her in her tracks.
“Let me through, you idiot! ALICE! Wait!”
The centurion turned. “On your way, woman. No comfort for this prisoner. She has already attempted to delay her own crucifixion!!”
“Have some compassion, man!”
“Compassion?” he sneered, “We’re about to crucify her! How do we crucify her compassionately?”
“You are a hateful man! I hope you rot in hell!”
Alice remained silent, her mind, even now refusing to accept the reality of what was happening. As her aunt’s voice faded behind her they passed through the city gate. Ahead, for the first time in three years, she saw the knoll beside the road known as Golgotha. Three years ago she had followed Nathan as they took him to be crucified. Ahead, once again, they were making preparations for crucifixion. And now it was hideously clear: this time it was her own crucifixion they were preparing for.