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Crime and Punishment in Modern Singapore

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Barb sitting in the police car, wondering if this mess is going to cause her to miss her flight home
Actually Singapore police vans are roomy and comfortable
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I've just noticed, Hanguana belongs in the family Flagellariaceae
Cultural Anthropologists have suggested that it was used by the indigenous Malay population in their justice rituals to punish wrongdoers. :spank:
 
Barb sitting in the police car, wondering if this mess is going to cause her to miss her flight home. And later, panicking when she realizes she will not be able to flirt her way out of this.

Flirting didn’t seem to work. Something went wrong. Maybe it was those hideous shoes?

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Central Police Division, Booking Desk: 5:55 PM SST

The ride in the van was uneventful and surprisingly comfortable. The officers were completely respectful of their bound prisoner – no groping, not even leering. Totally professional. Barb however, kept up a constant stream of complaints and questions, ranging from naked threats to filthy curses to flirtatious begging. Not one seemed to pay any notice.

They entered the modern and immaculate Central Police Division building and the soaring lobby with hanging works of glass art by Dale Chihuly, and continued to the main booking area. This more resembled an upscale corporate lobby, then a usual police station.
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Barbara was seated, uncuffed, in a brightly lit cubical, in a comfortable, easy chair facing a modern, steel and glass desk, behind which was a trim young woman in a dark navy uniform. She smiled at Barbara and introduced herself as Mai Tang, Corporal of the Singapore police.
“Miss Moore,” she said, looking at Barbara’s passport, “I am so sorry for the inconvenience here. I shall attempt to resolve this situation as expeditiously as possible.” If you didn’t know better, you’d have believed Barb was simply there to discuss her latest bank overdraft.
When Barb began rapidly stating her case, Mai held up her hand.
“Please, Miss Moore, it would be wise of you to say nothing until I have seen the report of the officers. Then we can discuss what is to be done. Right now, they are entering their report in the computer system which will process all four statements and prepare a single charge sheet which I will access on my station here.”
“Well, I want to be able to lodge a formal complaint! Those…” Mai again held up her hand.
“You will be able to do so when it’s appropriate. I shall have the charge sheet within five minutes. We strive for efficiency and quality service here in the Singapore Police Force.”
Five minutes, right! thought Barb. As she waited, silently, Barb seethed inside. She now began to worry about missing her flight. About four minutes later, Mai Tang’s screen beeped and she scrolled through a document. Now, she looked concerned.
“I am afraid that these charges are quite serious, Miss Moore. You are charged under Chapter 57 of the Singapore penal code, defacing of public property and public chewing of gum. In addition, your disrespectful comments toward the arresting officers bring charges under Chapter 52, slandering the Singapore Police Force. I must tell you that there is also a very serious charge under the Prevention of Corruption Act Section 5 with attempted bribing of four public officials. And, most serious of all, you are charged under penal code §332 ‘Voluntarily causing hurt to deter public servant from his duty!’ Miss Moore, you could be looking at very great trouble.”
Barb had been seething during the wait, anxious to file her many complaints. The recitation of these charges caused her temper to boil over.
“You’ve got to be fucking crazy. You Keystone Cops can’t arrest an American citizen for chewing gum. None of those charges are true. I’m innocent! I’ll have all your badges, you moron! Let me go at once you dumbass clerk, or I’ll see you lose your fucking job. I demand you contact the American Embassy!” She continued on for a couple of minutes, voice raised and using rude language. She was too excited to notice heads around the room turning in wonder at the loud rant.
Mai Tang sat patiently, waiting for Barb to stop. Her sympathetic, concerned look and friendly smile changed little. However, after listening for several minutes to Barb’s profanity-laced insults that included her personally, there was the slightest icy tone added in her voice when she spoke. “There are body-cam recordings supporting all the charges. Therefore, we have to take this incident seriously. I can tell you that your Embassy was contacted even before you arrived here. However, the U.S. Ambassador is out with most of the staff at their box at the HSBC Women’s World championship at the Sentosa Golf Club. It is the biggest athletic event of the year here. That apparently left only a skeleton staff at the Embassy and most of those, being it’s after 5PM on a Friday, have gone for the weekend. We have been told that the earliest a representative will be able to see you is tomorrow morning.”
“Tomorrow?” Barb almost choked with anger as she heard that. “That is unacceptable! I will have those Embassy morons fired too! I will file complaints! You, little girl, will be in a shitload of trouble if you don’t fix this right now! I insist that you take me back to my hotel. I have a plane to catch just after midnight!”
“I am afraid that will be impossible. Since you have formally requested your Embassy representative be present, we cannot have you appear before a magistrate until then. You will be housed in our facility until morning and then we will wait for your representative.”
“But my tickets are not exchangeable or refundable!” At that Barbara lost all control and began screaming invectives at Mai Tang, the arresting officers, the Singapore police in general and the whole Republic of Singapore. For an educated, professional woman, she showed an astonishing range of gutter vocabulary.
Three large, khaki-uniformed jail matrons appeared and lifted Barbara from the seat and dragged her, still shouting, across the room and through a heavy security door. Everyone in the staid, dignified booking department looked in astonishment at the strident display.

***
 
The ride in the van was uneventful and surprisingly comfortable. The officers were completely respectful of their bound prisoner – no groping, not even leering.

Missed their chance, didn’t they? :rolleyes:

If you didn’t know better, you’d have believed Barb was simply there to discuss her latest bank overdraft.

Except when I do that with my bank, they have me bent bare-assed over a desk so they can whip my tight little ... no, wait ... that’s not the bank ... that’s the Dean of the College’s office when I go in to discuss my research budget overruns ... see! ..., these Singapore cops have me flustered now! :confused:

“Please, Miss Moore, it would be wise of you to say nothing until I have seen the report of the officers.

Good advice not heeded :oops:

About four minutes later, Mai Tang’s screen beeped and she scrolled through a document. Now, she looked concerned.
“I am afraid that these charges are quite serious, Miss Moore. You are charged under Chapter 57 of the Singapore penal code, defacing of public property and public chewing of gum. In addition, your disrespectful comments toward the arresting officers bring charges under Chapter 52, slandering the Singapore Police Force. I must tell you that there is also a very serious charge under the Prevention of Corruption Act Section 5 with attempted bribing of four public officials. And, most serious of all, you are charged under penal code §332 ‘Voluntarily causing hurt to deter public servant from his duty!’ Miss Moore, you could be looking at very great trouble.”

Holy Shit!!! They’re charging me with all that? :facepalm:

Mai Tang sat patiently, waiting for Barb to stop. Her sympathetic, concerned look and friendly smile changed little. However, after listening for several minutes to Barb’s profanity-laced insults that included her personally, there was the slightest icy tone added in her voice when she spoke. “There are body-cam recordings supporting all the charges.

They have me on video doing all that??? Oh double Shit! :eek:

“Tomorrow?” Barb almost choked with anger as she heard that. “That is unacceptable! I will have those Embassy morons fired too! I will file complaints! You, little girl, will be in a shitload of trouble if you don’t fix this right now!

I might as well insult my own government while I’m at it. Morons, all of them!!!!! :mad:

Great episode. I never truly realized what a total pain I could be.
 
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2019 HSBC Women’s World championship at the Sentosa Golf Club
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US Embassy box is lower level, behind Rolex sign.
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Interim Ambassador Syptak-Ramnath is in center front in white linen
 
“Well, I want to be able to lodge a formal complaint! Those…” Mai again held up her hand.
“You will be able to do so when it’s appropriate. I shall have the charge sheet within five minutes. We strive for efficiency and quality service here in the Singapore Police Force.”
For a good understanding :
FIRST the fine print.
THEN the complaints (if any left over).:deal:

“You’ve got to be fucking crazy. You Keystone Cops can’t arrest an American citizen for chewing gum. None of those charges are true. I’m innocent! I’ll have all your badges, you moron! Let me go at once you dumbass clerk, or I’ll see you lose your fucking job. I demand you contact the American Embassy!” She continued on for a couple of minutes, voice raised and using rude language. She was too excited to notice heads around the room turning in wonder at the loud rant.
:facepalm::facepalm:

“Tomorrow?” Barb almost choked with anger as she heard that. “That is unacceptable! I will have those Embassy morons fired too! I will file complaints! You, little girl, will be in a shitload of trouble if you don’t fix this right now! I insist that you take me back to my hotel. I have a plane to catch just after midnight!”
:facepalm::facepalm::facepalm::facepalm:

“But my tickets are not exchangeable or refundable!” At that Barbara lost all control and began screaming invectives at Mai Tang, the arresting officers, the Singapore police in general and the whole Republic of Singapore. For an educated, professional woman, she showed an astonishing range of gutter vocabulary.
:facepalm:(x8) etc....
 
hanging works of glass art by Dale Chihuly,
(I always wonder with Dale Chihuly’s larger works... who dusts them? And how?? :confused: )
Women’s World championship at the Sentosa Golf Club
(Wait, what?? Women...play golf???:eek: I thought golf was invented to give men an excuse to get away from their wives..:facepalm:
Barbara lost all control and began screaming invectives
Decorous, dignified and ladylike to the end... which ... speaking of... do the Singaporeans know how to hang anything other than Dale Chihuly sculptures? :p
 
(Wait, what?? Women...play golf???:eek:I thought golf was invented to give men an excuse to get away from their wives..:facepalm:
It can be entertaining. I'm a big fan:
Nice formtumblr_nwdaerqh6l1tv545jo1_400.gif
Good enthusiasm7bc1e492528022dbc1a8dc93ea7576bb.gif
How Barbara learned the game19576374.gif
Fun on the links:
 
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