aaalexiaaa
Assistant executioner
Going on a living spree
Plenty wanna come with me
You don't wanna miss your chance
Near-life experience
Plenty wanna come with me
You don't wanna miss your chance
Near-life experience
-
Sign up or login, and you'll have full access to opportunities of forum.
CRUCIFIXION as an EXPERIENCE of LIFE and DEATH: how you started having these fantasies and what they mean for you
- Thread starter Zephirantes
- Start date
Zephirantes
Governor
Ah, another aspect I love about the crucifixion is the so-called... OBJECTIFICATION.
Mind you, this can be there in so many other circumstances: simple BDSM play, or other methods of execution such as impalement or hanging (in that case, well, mainly after death, so it's something mainly about corpses, but I don't have necrophilic interests).
But the beauty of crucifixion is that thanks to it the victim remains exposed naked, helpless, nailed like a butterfly in a bulletin board (I think I got that expression from @DjEtla ) for hours if not days.
Crucifixion takes objectification to another level entirely.
And while the poor nailed girl is there sweating and weeping and suffering and writhing trying to fight the muscle cramps and the pain of the nails, well, at the same time with her suffering body she offers a great spectacle to those who observe her, she acts as living furniture, as a “tableau vivant.”
And while, of course, dying in this way must be humiliating and dehumanizing (the pain, the absence of any privacy, being locked in a position without being able to use hands and legs, knowing that the only freedom from this torment will be death, being pointed at by amused or ribald spectators), it can also ... make the right girl proud.
(Or at least, that's how it happens in my personal fantasies).
Because “the right girl” may come to realize that she is the center of attention, that she is bringing fun and entertainment to many people with her obscene martyrdom.
If we think about it, how many of us can entertain (for any reason, from stand-up comedy to teaching) an audience of people?
Okay, some maybe do, but overall few, I suppose.
And how many of us have ever entertained an audience of hundreds?
How many one of thousands, perhaps for days?
Almost none I would say.
Here, instead, the girl dying (slowly) on the cross does exactly that, before an audience eager to explore on her denuded form and on her face every emotion, every feeling that death on the cross evokes in her body and soul.
So, while crucifixion is dehumanizing, alas, it also celebrates the suffering, humiliation, and exposure of a girl precisely because she is a human being forced into an unnatural and terrible position from which one can only escape by dying.
So yes, in a way crucifixion turns pretty living girls into living forniture, doomed to die.
But they are... GREAT furniture.
Not something of little value, to be discarded, but on the contrary something unique that is appreciated by many.
This contradiction, this contrast between dehumanization and a sort of "empowering" (an abused and misused word, I know...) is something it thrills me so much.
P.S. Here I have written about a crucified girl, referred to as "the right girl" (i.e. a girl that can come to appreciate certain aspect of her own execution).
I wanna point out that all this can be applied without issue to a crucified man.
I just referred to a "she" for easier writing and discussion. And, also, because my fantasies are (mainly) about women.
But I didn't want to sound sexist at all: men are free to suffer and die hanging from a cross in my fantasy and writing too!
Mind you, this can be there in so many other circumstances: simple BDSM play, or other methods of execution such as impalement or hanging (in that case, well, mainly after death, so it's something mainly about corpses, but I don't have necrophilic interests).
But the beauty of crucifixion is that thanks to it the victim remains exposed naked, helpless, nailed like a butterfly in a bulletin board (I think I got that expression from @DjEtla ) for hours if not days.
Crucifixion takes objectification to another level entirely.
And while the poor nailed girl is there sweating and weeping and suffering and writhing trying to fight the muscle cramps and the pain of the nails, well, at the same time with her suffering body she offers a great spectacle to those who observe her, she acts as living furniture, as a “tableau vivant.”
And while, of course, dying in this way must be humiliating and dehumanizing (the pain, the absence of any privacy, being locked in a position without being able to use hands and legs, knowing that the only freedom from this torment will be death, being pointed at by amused or ribald spectators), it can also ... make the right girl proud.
(Or at least, that's how it happens in my personal fantasies).
Because “the right girl” may come to realize that she is the center of attention, that she is bringing fun and entertainment to many people with her obscene martyrdom.
If we think about it, how many of us can entertain (for any reason, from stand-up comedy to teaching) an audience of people?
Okay, some maybe do, but overall few, I suppose.
And how many of us have ever entertained an audience of hundreds?
How many one of thousands, perhaps for days?
Almost none I would say.
Here, instead, the girl dying (slowly) on the cross does exactly that, before an audience eager to explore on her denuded form and on her face every emotion, every feeling that death on the cross evokes in her body and soul.
So, while crucifixion is dehumanizing, alas, it also celebrates the suffering, humiliation, and exposure of a girl precisely because she is a human being forced into an unnatural and terrible position from which one can only escape by dying.
So yes, in a way crucifixion turns pretty living girls into living forniture, doomed to die.
But they are... GREAT furniture.
Not something of little value, to be discarded, but on the contrary something unique that is appreciated by many.
This contradiction, this contrast between dehumanization and a sort of "empowering" (an abused and misused word, I know...) is something it thrills me so much.
P.S. Here I have written about a crucified girl, referred to as "the right girl" (i.e. a girl that can come to appreciate certain aspect of her own execution).
I wanna point out that all this can be applied without issue to a crucified man.
I just referred to a "she" for easier writing and discussion. And, also, because my fantasies are (mainly) about women.
But I didn't want to sound sexist at all: men are free to suffer and die hanging from a cross in my fantasy and writing too!
Last edited:
Zephirantes
Governor
In my last post I wrote that crucifixion turns an healthy, living girl into "something unique that is appreciated by many."
This brings me to another important aspect of crucifixion for me: UNIQUENESS.
For my entire life, I have personally been disturbed by the idea of being... common.
I admit this shamelessly here: we are now 8 billion, and sometimes I think there's very little that is "unique" in each of us.
And for me, uniqueness is a value: if I'm not unique and original, why am I even living?
If I'm not unique, anything I do or any experience I have will have already been done and experienced by other people, and probably (just for statistical reasons) someone among them will have done everything I've done and experienced, but... better.
So being "common" in my mind is associated with the idea of existential mediocrity, which annihilates all meaning.
It might be interesting to bring up the so-called "Anna Karenina principle" here, paraphrasing the opening of the novel by Lev Tolstoy:
"All happy people are alike, but each suffers differently"
We see this often ourselves, don't we?
When we're happy, do we question our happiness? Whether we deserve it? Whether it will last? Whether it's sustainable?
Rarely.
In fact, the moment we question our happiness, we somewhat diminish it; we cease to be happy.
So yes, all happy people are similar, stereotyped, anonymous, common... mediocre, in a sense.
When you're happy, you don't ask many questions, you're, in some way... dulled. Somewhat stupid.
And I hate stupidity (my own stupidity in particular).
On the contrary, in pain... well, in pain there is uniqueness.
In pain, there is thought: when we suffer, we ask ourselves questions, we imagine scenarios, we make and destroy plans.
The way we react to pain differentiates us, while the way we experience joy homogenizes us.
In this -you’ll have understood where I’m going by now- crucifixion being the peak of both physical and mental pain (knowing you're suffering just to die is suffering in itself!) is something that makes the crucified... unique.
This brings me to another important aspect of crucifixion for me: UNIQUENESS.
For my entire life, I have personally been disturbed by the idea of being... common.
I admit this shamelessly here: we are now 8 billion, and sometimes I think there's very little that is "unique" in each of us.
And for me, uniqueness is a value: if I'm not unique and original, why am I even living?
If I'm not unique, anything I do or any experience I have will have already been done and experienced by other people, and probably (just for statistical reasons) someone among them will have done everything I've done and experienced, but... better.
So being "common" in my mind is associated with the idea of existential mediocrity, which annihilates all meaning.
It might be interesting to bring up the so-called "Anna Karenina principle" here, paraphrasing the opening of the novel by Lev Tolstoy:
"All happy people are alike, but each suffers differently"
We see this often ourselves, don't we?
When we're happy, do we question our happiness? Whether we deserve it? Whether it will last? Whether it's sustainable?
Rarely.
In fact, the moment we question our happiness, we somewhat diminish it; we cease to be happy.
So yes, all happy people are similar, stereotyped, anonymous, common... mediocre, in a sense.
When you're happy, you don't ask many questions, you're, in some way... dulled. Somewhat stupid.
And I hate stupidity (my own stupidity in particular).
On the contrary, in pain... well, in pain there is uniqueness.
In pain, there is thought: when we suffer, we ask ourselves questions, we imagine scenarios, we make and destroy plans.
The way we react to pain differentiates us, while the way we experience joy homogenizes us.
In this -you’ll have understood where I’m going by now- crucifixion being the peak of both physical and mental pain (knowing you're suffering just to die is suffering in itself!) is something that makes the crucified... unique.
Last edited:
Zephirantes
Governor
The crucified girl lives thru a life experience (and with this, I connect back to my very first post here) that very few others experience, at least in modern times, and she faces it with all the resources of her body and mind, until the inevitable end.
This uniqueness makes the spectacle of her execution so heart-wrenching and emotional, both for those who observe it and for her, who lives it (until death).
In this, death makes everything ambivalent, enigmatic, and contradictory once again.
In my 2nd post, for example, I highlighted the contradiction / contrast between the dehumanization of the cross and the exaltation it gives to the body and suffering of the crucified girl.
Here, we have another contrast: suffering makes the crucified woman unique, special, original, but... it also leads her prematurely to a death that, by definition, is the absolute leveler.
Death makes everyone equal (do you remember the ending of Kubrick’s Barry Lyndon?)
Death is the equalizer that awaits us all and eliminates each of our peculiarities that we had while we were alive (and also eliminates us in the process*).
To find meaning, we can cling to the idea that what we did uniquely while we were alive will remain, will be remembered, or, at the very least, simply will have existed.
In this, the girl about to die on the cross might think that, however it goes (and it can now go only one way, sadly), her public execution will have brought so much entertainment and interest to all those who saw her agonize there.
That is something of value, something that might change things for many people.
This contrast is emotionally evocative for me, and it is one of the things I appreciate, in my own fantasy and imagination obviously, about crucifixion.
- - -
* Please notice that death, in removing our differences, removes also us as persons: this is one of the many things that induce me thinking that the value of our life resides in our uniqueness, and that if we were all anonymously similar, then it would mean that our lives are all mediocre, useless, and ultimately meaningless.
So, in a sense, in my fantasy the experience of dying crucified makes the crucifee unique and gives meaning even to people that, up to that point, lived rather unremarkable and dull lives.
This uniqueness makes the spectacle of her execution so heart-wrenching and emotional, both for those who observe it and for her, who lives it (until death).
In this, death makes everything ambivalent, enigmatic, and contradictory once again.
In my 2nd post, for example, I highlighted the contradiction / contrast between the dehumanization of the cross and the exaltation it gives to the body and suffering of the crucified girl.
Here, we have another contrast: suffering makes the crucified woman unique, special, original, but... it also leads her prematurely to a death that, by definition, is the absolute leveler.
Death makes everyone equal (do you remember the ending of Kubrick’s Barry Lyndon?)
"It was in the reign of King George III that the aforementioned personages lived and quarreled; Good or bad, handsome or ugly, rich or poor, they are all equal now."
Death is the equalizer that awaits us all and eliminates each of our peculiarities that we had while we were alive (and also eliminates us in the process*).
To find meaning, we can cling to the idea that what we did uniquely while we were alive will remain, will be remembered, or, at the very least, simply will have existed.
In this, the girl about to die on the cross might think that, however it goes (and it can now go only one way, sadly), her public execution will have brought so much entertainment and interest to all those who saw her agonize there.
That is something of value, something that might change things for many people.
This contrast is emotionally evocative for me, and it is one of the things I appreciate, in my own fantasy and imagination obviously, about crucifixion.
- - -
* Please notice that death, in removing our differences, removes also us as persons: this is one of the many things that induce me thinking that the value of our life resides in our uniqueness, and that if we were all anonymously similar, then it would mean that our lives are all mediocre, useless, and ultimately meaningless.
So, in a sense, in my fantasy the experience of dying crucified makes the crucifee unique and gives meaning even to people that, up to that point, lived rather unremarkable and dull lives.
Last edited:
Though in pain that will eventually cause her death, the crowd enjoys her body so well displayed for they. Her suffering is no concern of theirs. They stick around for hours watching her move between the spikes. They all agree she is better to watch than some guy nailed up there with his 'manhood' shaking between his legs...
Mikerytel
Senator
The crowd immediately started fantasizing perverted thoughts of what they'd want to do to her
DjEtla
Magistrate
"nailed like a butterfly in a bulletin board"Ah, another aspect I love about the crucifixion is the so-called... OBJECTIFICATION.
Mind you, this can be there in so many other circumstances: simple BDSM play, or other methods of execution such as impalement or hanging (in that case, well, mainly after death, so it's something mainly about corpses, but I don't have necrophilic interests).
But the beauty of crucifixion is that thanks to it the victim remains exposed naked, helpless, nailed like a butterfly in a bulletin board (I think I got that expression from @DjEtla ) for hours if not days.
Crucifixion takes objectification to another level entirely.
And while the poor nailed girl is there sweating and weeping and suffering and writhing trying to fight the muscle cramps and the pain of the nails, well, at the same time with her suffering body she offers a great spectacle to those who observe her, she acts as living furniture, as a “tableau vivant.”
And while, of course, dying in this way must be humiliating and dehumanizing (the pain, the absence of any privacy, being locked in a position without being able to use hands and legs, knowing that the only freedom from this torment will be death, being pointed at by amused or ribald spectators), it can also ... make the right girl proud.
(Or at least, that's how it happens in my personal fantasies).
Because “the right girl” may come to realize that she is the center of attention, that she is bringing fun and entertainment to many people with her obscene martyrdom.
If we think about it, how many of us can entertain (for any reason, from stand-up comedy to teaching) an audience of people?
Okay, some maybe do, but overall few, I suppose.
And how many of us have ever entertained an audience of hundreds?
How many one of thousands, perhaps for days?
Almost none I would say.
Here, instead, the girl dying (slowly) on the cross does exactly that, before an audience eager to explore on her denuded form and on her face every emotion, every feeling that death on the cross evokes in her body and soul.
So, while crucifixion is dehumanizing, alas, it also celebrates the suffering, humiliation, and exposure of a girl precisely because she is a human being forced into an unnatural and terrible position from which one can only escape by dying.
So yes, in a way crucifixion turns pretty living girls into living forniture, doomed to die.
But they are... GREAT furniture.
Not something of little value, to be discarded, but on the contrary something unique that is appreciated by many.
This contradiction, this contrast between dehumanization and a sort of "empowering" (an abused and misused word, I know...) is something it thrills me so much.
P.S. Here I have written about a crucified girl, referred to as "the right girl" (i.e. a girl that can come to appreciate certain aspect of her own execution).
I wanna point out that all this can be applied without issue to a crucified man.
I just referred to a "she" for easier writing and discussion. And, also, because my fantasies are (mainly) about women.
But I didn't want to sound sexist at all: men are free to suffer and die hanging from a cross in my fantasy and writing too!
I had forgotten using that phrase. But now that you mention it I think it comes to mind. A poor, innocent girl is being nailed to her cross. The story says: "A fragment of an old poem popped into her active mind; it was something like, 'When I am pinned and wriggling on the wall.'" This character was remembering a line from the poem "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock" by T. S. Eliot.
Zephirantes
Governor
Yeah, and you used in this excellent story of yours, Lily on the Cross.
Loxuru
Graf von Kreuzigung
Interesting thoughts, @Zephirantes
But all those crucified together, are joined in the same suffering! Your neighbours on the cross go through the same ordeal, you recognise well!
The cross is called "The Great Equalizer!" What had been before, does not matter anymore for all those nailed naked to it. While it is a life experience, all are already equal.
I used this metaphor long ago in a short story :
https://cruxforums.com/xf/threads/no-trespassing.4778/page-3
Alisha..Executed
Governor
I can go days without drugs and alchohol because all the dark stuff around crucifixion gets me naturally high -
Torture
Naked victims in agony
Their nailing
Their suffering
Their deaths
Necro
Rotting corpses
Corpses eaten by crows
I KNOW SOME PEOPLE GET OFF ON THE VICTIM SHITTING THEMSELVES AS THEY DIE ( not by thing )
There SOO much awfull themes here
And I'm sometimes overwhelmed by my hunger for everything ( apart from death shitting)
Its all soo fuckin dark
Torture
Naked victims in agony
Their nailing
Their suffering
Their deaths
Necro
Rotting corpses
Corpses eaten by crows
I KNOW SOME PEOPLE GET OFF ON THE VICTIM SHITTING THEMSELVES AS THEY DIE ( not by thing )
There SOO much awfull themes here
And I'm sometimes overwhelmed by my hunger for everything ( apart from death shitting)
Its all soo fuckin dark
thecuriousone
Tribune
Then let's make it our duty to keep you clean for as long as possible by giving you a natural high.I can go days without drugs and alchohol because all the dark stuff around crucifixion gets me naturally high -
Torture
Naked victims in agony
Their nailing
Their suffering
Their deaths
Necro
Rotting corpses
Corpses eaten by crows
I KNOW SOME PEOPLE GET OFF ON THE VICTIM SHITTING THEMSELVES AS THEY DIE ( not by thing )
There SOO much awfull themes here
And I'm sometimes overwhelmed by my hunger for everything ( apart from death shitting)
Its all soo fuckin dark
Zephirantes
Governor
Merci beaucoup.
And it's always a pleasure reading yours too.
Yeah the suffering is the same, but the reactions are not.
In my mind, I imagine those taken in endless horror. Those that almost "shut down", like escaping this reality. Those that just break as person. And, also, those the live crucifixion as their last experience on this earth and perhaps try to find some... erotic solace in it.
I particularly love these latter.
I will report here a beautiful passage from another of @DjEtla 's stories ("Melita on the cross", the revised version available on pixiv) that summarizes this perfectly, I think.
The guard and the slave girl are speaking about the latter's crucifixion decreed by her master.
Indeed, one of the things that renovated and rekindled my interest in crucifixion were DjEtla's delicate and suggestive stories, I confess.
I'm much more verbose and graphical than him, but I aspire to recreate the same eerie atmosphere that he perfectly captured in his narrative.
Sure, this is a very reasonable point of view, shared by most people I think.
I am naturally a nostalgic person and I tend to give importance also to what was instead. What was created the premises for what happens in present.
Thanks, great story.
I somewhat forgot about it, my fault.
There're so many great stories in this forum that is easy to let somethin' slip.
Alisha..Executed
Governor
The sexual stuff about the dead naked body on display
I'm turned into a lifeless work of art by my executioner
I'm turned into a lifeless work of art by my executioner
Zephirantes
Governor
As I hinted to previously, I'm attracted by... contradictions. By contrasts.
What I like about them is the REVERSAL OF EXPECTATIONS.
Like, imagine in your mind a typical scenario... say, a murder scene, or an execution in ancient times: a creaming victim, brutal and lecherous executioners, a crowd chanting obscenities and throwing insults to the victim... this kind of scenario.
There might be some erotically arousing elements in this scenario too (and I love many stories like that), but hell, I am MUCH MORE thrilled if these expectations are totally frustrated instead!
Imagine you're about to be crucified, and... your executioners are merciless and implacable, yes, but also kind and professional.
Interested in torturing and killing you, but with a soothing voice.
The crowd is entertained by your agony and smile at you as you suffer, shaking your sweaty naked body under their gazes.
As I said once:
This pic summarizes what I mean:
This subversion of expectations is unsettling and disturbing and, ultimately, erotically thrilling to me.
Point is, to achieve this, I feel some comedic elements are needed, making the whole scenario a little bit of "scary-campy" in a sense.
Also, I like humour, I always found it extremely sexy (here my inner Woody Allen comes out again!) and attractive, so I like that brutal stories about executions contain funny or absurd moments too.
This takes me to a further exploration of what I like (and that coincides with how I write stories: I unapologetically admit I write stories that I like): the contrast between the grim reality of the cross and the comedy around it, all made somewhat surreal by this juxtaposition of themes that normally are very very far apart.
Obviously, these fantasies make everything somewhat unrealistic... but hey, isn't it the point of fantasies in the first place?
Every fantasy has some seed of unrealism, something that cannot happen or that you can't do
If fantasies were realistic, you could just act on them, right? They would not be fantasies.
My fantasies are clearly surreal, directly "into your face".
I don't pretend my erotic fantasies to be based: I try to be suggestive and arousing.
Of the same stuff dreams are made on, right?
Here too you can see how my fantasies were influenced by Dolcett's imaginary world.
What I like about them is the REVERSAL OF EXPECTATIONS.
Like, imagine in your mind a typical scenario... say, a murder scene, or an execution in ancient times: a creaming victim, brutal and lecherous executioners, a crowd chanting obscenities and throwing insults to the victim... this kind of scenario.
There might be some erotically arousing elements in this scenario too (and I love many stories like that), but hell, I am MUCH MORE thrilled if these expectations are totally frustrated instead!
Imagine you're about to be crucified, and... your executioners are merciless and implacable, yes, but also kind and professional.
Interested in torturing and killing you, but with a soothing voice.
The crowd is entertained by your agony and smile at you as you suffer, shaking your sweaty naked body under their gazes.
As I said once:
This pic summarizes what I mean:
This subversion of expectations is unsettling and disturbing and, ultimately, erotically thrilling to me.
Point is, to achieve this, I feel some comedic elements are needed, making the whole scenario a little bit of "scary-campy" in a sense.
Also, I like humour, I always found it extremely sexy (here my inner Woody Allen comes out again!) and attractive, so I like that brutal stories about executions contain funny or absurd moments too.
This takes me to a further exploration of what I like (and that coincides with how I write stories: I unapologetically admit I write stories that I like): the contrast between the grim reality of the cross and the comedy around it, all made somewhat surreal by this juxtaposition of themes that normally are very very far apart.
Obviously, these fantasies make everything somewhat unrealistic... but hey, isn't it the point of fantasies in the first place?
Every fantasy has some seed of unrealism, something that cannot happen or that you can't do
If fantasies were realistic, you could just act on them, right? They would not be fantasies.
My fantasies are clearly surreal, directly "into your face".
I don't pretend my erotic fantasies to be based: I try to be suggestive and arousing.
Of the same stuff dreams are made on, right?
Here too you can see how my fantasies were influenced by Dolcett's imaginary world.
Zephirantes
Governor
There's another reason why I'm so much thrilled by crucifixions.
It's a rather personal thing (well, all I write about here is very personal, in fact): I've always felt like I was living on... BORROWED TIME.
I've no disability nor any known illness that I know will shrink my life expectancy, yet I've always been impressed by stories of (seemingly) perfectly healthy people dying prematurely.
Either of illnesses or accidents or murders.
And, reversing the stereotype, I have always asked myself “why not me?”, “what is so special about me that it didn't happen to me?” and finally “how long will it be before it happens to me?”
Generally, people when they become seriously ill with something look at a statistic and wonder, in despair, why them?
This is a very human reaction, but also partly due to a lack of understanding of what a statistic represents.
Statistics gives accurate information about large numbers, but applied to the individual case it can only estimate risks that never zero out.
Here, I function in reverse, and I tend to wonder not so much why misfortunes (few for now, luckily) happen to me, but how I would react if they happened to me.
A few years ago a blood test presaged a life-threatening illness for me (a leukemia): fortunately it turned out to be only a “false positive,” but let's just say that for about a week, when I thought I was gonna die in a couple of months, I took it pretty well under the circumstances, as something that had to happen to someone and that THERE WAS NO REASON WHY IT WOULDN'T HAPPEN TO ME.
I am quite aware of not being special: I am not blessed by some higher force that will protect me from these dangers forever.
In this sense, I often feel like I'm on borrowed time.
As if I am waiting for a disaster that will happen to me sooner or later.
Maybe it's due to some childhood trauma (my parents didn't let me live a peaceful childhood, let's say), but whatever, this is how I've always felt, with a sense of death if not quite looming, at least present. Just around the corner.
And, having now passed 40 and probably entered the second and final half of my existence, this feeling has been reinforced, with all the feelings it brings with it.
More than anxiety, I would say... melancholy.
I get to thinking about all the things I never did, the things I will never do, the things that I did for the last time and will never do again (and I don't know yet maybe).
This is another aspect that I find ... perversely intriguing?
All of us will do things for the last time, and in all likelihood we won't pay attention to them (if we pay attention at all) until much later.
“Ah, that was the last time I made a trip to such a place.”
“That was the last time I stayed in a hotel.”
“That was the last time I swam in the sea.”
“The last time I had sex.”
And so on.
For many, this is all so depressing. Well, it is, needless to go around it: but out of this melancholy can also come some emotional stimulation and... thrill?
French poet Baudelaire called a feeling similar to this as “spleen.”
A few days ago I happened to see an old movie with Schwarzenegger, in which he acted in a role quite far from stereotypical. The movie was called Maggie (2015) and like much stuff of the period (post subprime mortgage crisis) it was a zombie movie: Arnie's daughter has been bitten, the transformation into a zombie progresses but very slowly, and the whole movie is a long, desperate farewell of several weeks by a father to a daughter living “on borrowed time.”
It is quite poignant (it was not well rated on Rotten Tomatoes, FYI) and in my opinion works well, capturing the emotional aspects of this long goodbye perfectly.
Some critics said it would also have worked with a little daughter sick with any incurable disease, but... I disagree.
The transformation into a zombie brings with it a whole set of unique moral dilemmas: should bitten people be killed immediately? After a while? After how long? When is a person still himself and when is he a walking dead man?
How should the public power react? Create internment camps? Set up death squads to cull the infected?
What if some infected people perhaps spontaneously heal, at the last moment before transforming, maybe?
In that case, wouldn't forcibly killing them be an abuse by the state?
These are all dilemmas that for a “simple,” albeit excruciating, fatal disease would not arise.
The state would not forcefully put down a terminally ill child with leukemia, for instance, whereas it would do so for a little girl bitten by a zombie.
The zombie epidemic as always is a way to reflect not so much on the zombies themselves, but to reflect on what we living people are willing to do to others like us in times of extreme emergency.
Here, for me, the crucifixion is also a circumstance that takes everything to extremes.
The girl on the cross is by definition “on borrowed time”: she knows she must die, perhaps legally she is even considered already dead by the state once she is nailed and hanging from the cross, but in reality she is still very much alive (until, well, she isn't anymore).
Yet, death for the crucified person is inevitable and close (hours, days at most), imposed by an external power (like forced euthanasia in the case of the film above), and it brings with it all those feelings I have tried to say so far.
My 2 cents.
It's a rather personal thing (well, all I write about here is very personal, in fact): I've always felt like I was living on... BORROWED TIME.
I've no disability nor any known illness that I know will shrink my life expectancy, yet I've always been impressed by stories of (seemingly) perfectly healthy people dying prematurely.
Either of illnesses or accidents or murders.
And, reversing the stereotype, I have always asked myself “why not me?”, “what is so special about me that it didn't happen to me?” and finally “how long will it be before it happens to me?”
Generally, people when they become seriously ill with something look at a statistic and wonder, in despair, why them?
This is a very human reaction, but also partly due to a lack of understanding of what a statistic represents.
Statistics gives accurate information about large numbers, but applied to the individual case it can only estimate risks that never zero out.
Here, I function in reverse, and I tend to wonder not so much why misfortunes (few for now, luckily) happen to me, but how I would react if they happened to me.
A few years ago a blood test presaged a life-threatening illness for me (a leukemia): fortunately it turned out to be only a “false positive,” but let's just say that for about a week, when I thought I was gonna die in a couple of months, I took it pretty well under the circumstances, as something that had to happen to someone and that THERE WAS NO REASON WHY IT WOULDN'T HAPPEN TO ME.
I am quite aware of not being special: I am not blessed by some higher force that will protect me from these dangers forever.
In this sense, I often feel like I'm on borrowed time.
As if I am waiting for a disaster that will happen to me sooner or later.
Maybe it's due to some childhood trauma (my parents didn't let me live a peaceful childhood, let's say), but whatever, this is how I've always felt, with a sense of death if not quite looming, at least present. Just around the corner.
And, having now passed 40 and probably entered the second and final half of my existence, this feeling has been reinforced, with all the feelings it brings with it.
More than anxiety, I would say... melancholy.
I get to thinking about all the things I never did, the things I will never do, the things that I did for the last time and will never do again (and I don't know yet maybe).
This is another aspect that I find ... perversely intriguing?
All of us will do things for the last time, and in all likelihood we won't pay attention to them (if we pay attention at all) until much later.
“Ah, that was the last time I made a trip to such a place.”
“That was the last time I stayed in a hotel.”
“That was the last time I swam in the sea.”
“The last time I had sex.”
And so on.
For many, this is all so depressing. Well, it is, needless to go around it: but out of this melancholy can also come some emotional stimulation and... thrill?
French poet Baudelaire called a feeling similar to this as “spleen.”
A few days ago I happened to see an old movie with Schwarzenegger, in which he acted in a role quite far from stereotypical. The movie was called Maggie (2015) and like much stuff of the period (post subprime mortgage crisis) it was a zombie movie: Arnie's daughter has been bitten, the transformation into a zombie progresses but very slowly, and the whole movie is a long, desperate farewell of several weeks by a father to a daughter living “on borrowed time.”
It is quite poignant (it was not well rated on Rotten Tomatoes, FYI) and in my opinion works well, capturing the emotional aspects of this long goodbye perfectly.
Some critics said it would also have worked with a little daughter sick with any incurable disease, but... I disagree.
The transformation into a zombie brings with it a whole set of unique moral dilemmas: should bitten people be killed immediately? After a while? After how long? When is a person still himself and when is he a walking dead man?
How should the public power react? Create internment camps? Set up death squads to cull the infected?
What if some infected people perhaps spontaneously heal, at the last moment before transforming, maybe?
In that case, wouldn't forcibly killing them be an abuse by the state?
These are all dilemmas that for a “simple,” albeit excruciating, fatal disease would not arise.
The state would not forcefully put down a terminally ill child with leukemia, for instance, whereas it would do so for a little girl bitten by a zombie.
The zombie epidemic as always is a way to reflect not so much on the zombies themselves, but to reflect on what we living people are willing to do to others like us in times of extreme emergency.
Here, for me, the crucifixion is also a circumstance that takes everything to extremes.
The girl on the cross is by definition “on borrowed time”: she knows she must die, perhaps legally she is even considered already dead by the state once she is nailed and hanging from the cross, but in reality she is still very much alive (until, well, she isn't anymore).
Yet, death for the crucified person is inevitable and close (hours, days at most), imposed by an external power (like forced euthanasia in the case of the film above), and it brings with it all those feelings I have tried to say so far.
My 2 cents.
Loxuru
Graf von Kreuzigung
The 'living on borrowed time' aspect is indeed an important element in a crux fantasy. It sometimes thought that, when someone dies, his or her whole life flashes by in a split second. On the cross, this takes hours! The condemned looks back on his/her life, and from that viewpoint, it appears as if the whole life before the cross was 'borrowed time', ultimately leading to the cross, as an inevitable destiny.
Zephirantes
Governor
I first met this expression ("living on borrowed time") in a snuff context in al old Dolcett-esque story of Paul K, I think.
Summary: A girl (Alanna) was a prey in an hunt. A certain Amanda Blake is a notoriously effective girl-hunter and got her hands on Alanna, but for a reason she left her go away but, as a part of a bargain, Amanda made Alanna promise she would enroll as a prey again.
So here she is again, knowing that the invincible hunter Amanda Blake is out there looking for her.
It's a thrilling concept, for me at least, and I think applies perfectly to a crucified person.
Indeed, the crucifixion stretches this borrowed time a lot, hour hours or days, and at the same time tortures the victim and makes her helpless.
One could imagine, as I hinted before, to achieve the same goal with other torture/execution methods.
Like, for instance, a very slow electrocution on the electric chair (obviously, to do the deed slow enough the electrodes should be placed far from heart and brain, like... on the genitals!).
Or, an exhausting and unrelenting session on a fucking machine leading to the death of the pounded girl...
These are good alternatives, sure, but I think they lack the majestic allure and gravitas of a full-fledged crucifixion, in my humble opinion.
And while I do like to fantasize also about other execution methods, like slow hanging or impalement, they are too quick to stretch that 'borrowed time' enough to make it really a thrill, I'm afraid.
A great BDSM author, Iphigenia-at-aulis, once wrote about the "austere nobility of a crucified position".
Besides, I now remember that Iphigenia wrote a very good crucifixion story once (everything she wrote is very good), but unfortunately published it on a website long down.
I was once in contact with her, chances are I might convince Iphigenia to post her almost-lost story here...
EDIT: her email is deactivated, and I've found her story published under another author, so I decided to publish her story myself on this forum anyway.
You can find her great crux story here:
It is non-snuff, but it is super good anyway.
- - -
P.S. Dear @DjEtla , you wrote a girl-hunting story also, right? Perhaps you could find Paul K's hunting stories (there are a lot of them, all with Amanda Blake there) interesting. The hunting stories are all those with Alanna, Amanda, Sajida, and Rachel referenced in their titles. https://necrobabes.darkfetishnet.com/archive/pk/index.htm
One of these stories, Rachel's Run (parts 1, 2, and 3), is overall one of my favorite snuff stories ever and even gave rise to an authorized fanfiction of another author.
Last edited:
Zephirantes
Governor
Oh, and by the way... I often happen to say that this of that author or story is among my favorite ever!
Well, when I say that, I mean it, it is not some "captatio benevolentiae".
As you might know, I've tried to assemble a fotonovela since time immemorial, with little avail up to now (I started publishing one here also, "Beware of what you volunteer for!", but alas, I lost inspiration during the creation of it: creating a fotonovela is like 100 times more tiresome than writing a written story that tells the same script).
I've created hundreds drafts of fonovelas regarding manyexecution methods, but the 1st page of all of them is always a disclaimer.
In that 1st page I also always report a list of my favorite snuff stories, more or less updated.
The list includes many non-crucifixion stories, and also a couple of stories with no snuff at all (but snuff is heavily hinted someway): in fact only an handful include crucifixions (I will highlight them in bold, all of them are available in this forum), because, as I said, my "snuff background" is more Dolcett-esque than crucifixion-based.
I also link some other stories that I remember have been posted here.
The list does not create a personal ranking of mine, it is just a collection of what I remember most fondly.
Currently, that list is and the following disclaimer is the following.
Maybe it can help you discover some hidden snuff gem here and there in the internet.
Some of these stories are easily available here, on the dolcettgirls forum, on pixiv, or on the bdsmlibrary.
Authors @riwa , @carloscruz , @tygavin , @DjEtla , @Kathrin, and @Thomas Chaser are all active on this forum and I consider all of them über-good snuff writer, and I envy their skills a lot and I would like to be such a good, accomplished writer as they are.
Some stories are much more obscure, and some other, alas, are totally lost and I can find them only in my own hard disk: probably I will publish some of these latter in the future here.
Chances are that I might repost this list, updated and with more active hyperlinks to make these stories more accessible to everyone.
Hope I've been helpful.
Cheers.
Zeph.
Well, when I say that, I mean it, it is not some "captatio benevolentiae".
As you might know, I've tried to assemble a fotonovela since time immemorial, with little avail up to now (I started publishing one here also, "Beware of what you volunteer for!", but alas, I lost inspiration during the creation of it: creating a fotonovela is like 100 times more tiresome than writing a written story that tells the same script).
I've created hundreds drafts of fonovelas regarding manyexecution methods, but the 1st page of all of them is always a disclaimer.
In that 1st page I also always report a list of my favorite snuff stories, more or less updated.
The list includes many non-crucifixion stories, and also a couple of stories with no snuff at all (but snuff is heavily hinted someway): in fact only an handful include crucifixions (I will highlight them in bold, all of them are available in this forum), because, as I said, my "snuff background" is more Dolcett-esque than crucifixion-based.
I also link some other stories that I remember have been posted here.
The list does not create a personal ranking of mine, it is just a collection of what I remember most fondly.
Currently, that list is and the following disclaimer is the following.
Maybe it can help you discover some hidden snuff gem here and there in the internet.
Some of these stories are easily available here, on the dolcettgirls forum, on pixiv, or on the bdsmlibrary.
Authors @riwa , @carloscruz , @tygavin , @DjEtla , @Kathrin, and @Thomas Chaser are all active on this forum and I consider all of them über-good snuff writer, and I envy their skills a lot and I would like to be such a good, accomplished writer as they are.
Some stories are much more obscure, and some other, alas, are totally lost and I can find them only in my own hard disk: probably I will publish some of these latter in the future here.
Chances are that I might repost this list, updated and with more active hyperlinks to make these stories more accessible to everyone.
Hope I've been helpful.
Cheers.
Zeph.
Last edited:
iuiu38
Magistrate
I prefer watching you still alive on the cross, maybe just a moment before to be executedThe sexual stuff about the dead naked body on display
I'm turned into a lifeless work of art by my executioner
iuiu38
Magistrate
But above all, seeing you when you are hoisted nailed to the cross and seeing how you display yourself screaming, and then begin to moan and writhe. An authentic female sculpture offered to the entire public