Trixie took another mouthful of hay. She was puzzled. It seemed ages ago that the stable lad had saddled her up, ready for her morning exercise, and since then no one had come near either her, or any of the other horses.
She was struck by a ray of hope. Perhaps the delay meant that Barbara was coming to take her for an early morning ride. Perhaps down to Rattington, or even as far as Fieldmouseford? She did love Barbara, she counted herself so lucky to have a mistress like her. Some of the other horses got badly thrashed by their riders, but even while they were hunting, and Barbara was excited by the thrill of the chase, she was still kind to her, and Trixie rewarded her by doing her very best for her. She thought that Barbara and her made a good team.
It had been great, yesterday afternoon, seeing Barbara with her friend enjoying themselves. She didn’t quite understand what they were doing, but she knew that it made Barbara happy, and whatever made Barbara happy made Trixie happy.
Suddenly the stable door burst open, and it was that man that she’d seen inside that smelly, noisy, metal box. What was he doing here? Gosh! He was climbing up onto her saddle!
He’d picked up a riding crop from somewhere, and she felt its sting on her hindquarters.
“Come on, you stupid fucking nag, move!!!”
Trixie did not like this man.
But she thought she’d better do as she was told, especially as he was being rather free with that damned whip! So she started to move out of the stable, evidently not quickly enough, he was leaping about in the saddle, shouting and swearing, so she increased speed to a fast trot. Barbara never made her gallop too soon.
She came round the corner of the Abbey, lots of noise, lots of people crying and shouting. What was this? People on crosses, just like yesterday, but not like yesterday, hurting more than yesterday. And there was Barbara! She’d been frightened by the crosses yesterday, she’d made her run away quickly from them, and now she was on one, and in evident distress! And Barbara’s friend, just being put up on another one!
And what was it with this guy on her back? He was getting increasingly stressed. “Come on! Come on! Faster, you fuckin’ stupid animal!”
Trixie didn’t much care about him. He was just a problem preventing her from getting to Barbara. She stopped, put her head down, and bucked, kicked, and jumped.
Tree managed to hang on for seven seconds, before being dumped unceremoniously onto the drive, with a grunt and a ‘fuck!’
Having relieved herself of her unwelcome burden, she charged towards Barbara, scattering anyone who got in her way. Both Bull and Gunner collected hoof shaped bruises that they would bear for quite some time, and crucifixion operations came to an abrupt halt, owing to the fact that supplies of nails and tools were located just in in front of Barbara’s cross, a zone now under the total control of one very angry horse.
Mr Tree began to focus on proceedings, having lost interest for a few moments following his collision with the Cruxton drive. Erin had managed to land a savage kick in her guard’s crotch, Melissa had found a handy flowerpot which she had smashed over her man’s head, and Eulalia’s guard was rolling head over heels down some steps. Erin and Melissa dashed into the house and reappeared seconds later with a sword and a mace borrowed from the suit of armour in the hall, which they waved menacingly.
Quite a number of his henchmen were already vanishing, this was not at all what they’d been promised, and the Rolls Royce had by now disappeared from view through the gate, so their hold on power looked like being very temporary indeed.
And just when it seemed his problems couldn’t get worse, a carriage pulled up, and out stepped the Dowager.
My favorite part was when Wragg was trying to convince us that Trixie didn't know exactly what was going on when Barbara and Siss were getting it on...
