“I think you know. Maybe you were watching? I think you know. Of course they made me wait, like they always had. I think it was October when they came and I knew it was the end at last. The seventeenth of October. The gaoler came to my cell early in the morning and asked me to stand. He was carrying a razor and he cut my hair and shaved all my body parts and then he bid me to wait. Later on a priest came and exorcised me. I felt nothing of course, but I knew what was coming, even though no words were spoken. I was still naked and in my chains. But then they came and unlocked me and had me put on a thin cloth dress that came just part way down my thighs and hardly covered me at all and they told me to wait. I sat still behind the iron bars, what else could I do? I waited. Eventually they came again and put new chains around my wrists and ankles and led me out of my cell and up the stairs and into the open air which I had hardly seen for two years or more and I could see the sun and the birds flying. I stared at the sky, but they dragged me quickly along and put me into a cart and soon I was being taken over the river and into the city and into the main square. And in front of me I could see the stake that they meant me to die at and at this moment I began to cry and cry.
And yet this was the day when they were making me real. Do you understand Grete? I was important, not a nobody for once. I was going to be the person everyone was looking at because I was a witch. They had said this. I was someone at last. I sort of smiled as the cart took me to the square. But I was also frightened. I had known pain, but this time they were going to kill me. Those are frightening words aren’t they. They would kill me this day and I would be dead. Is that how you felt Grete?”
“Yes. I felt that too. Go on Anne, go on…”
“So, they took me from the cart and led me to the stake. I was trembling. They helped me onto a little stool with three legs, maybe a few feet tall, I stood on it. I looked at the faces in the crowd. I wondered if they really wanted to see me die in such pain. I think probably they did, some of them, and probably they didn’t. Then when I was up on the stool, with my back to the stake, they came with chains. They wrapped them around my ankles and my thighs, and then around my waist. They pulled it very tight around my waist, so that I could hardly breathe. Then they crossed the chain over me between my breasts and over my shoulders. It was tight but I liked the feeling of the cold chain. My hands were tied behind me. I was fixed now to the stake. Next they pulled the stool away and I gasped as all my weight was held by the chains. I knew this was it. They put the bundles of wood under my feet, I think I was about four feet in the air, so there was room. There was not that much wood, but they had a pile beside the stake to feed the fire. I knew they wanted me to die slowly. I could hardly breathe. Was it like this for you Grete?”
“A little, but you heard my sentence didn’t you? But maybe you didn’t understand the German. After the night in the cell they pulled me out. They cut my black hair short like they did to you, so I looked like a boy, and they dressed me in a rough cotton shift. Then they took me out to the square where there was a large crowd waiting to watch. I knew the sentence. I was very afraid of the pain. They took me towards the stake but didn’t fix me to it. Two men held me tight while they did the first part. They held my arm out and the executioner came with a red-hot pincer. He grasped my finger on my right hand and pressed it until he broke the bone, then twisted until he tore the finger away. I can’t even describe the pain, Anne. And then he did it four more times. I couldn’t even cry. Then they dragged me to the post and fixed me there. He came again and ripped the shift from me so that my body was bared to the crowd and with the hot tongues he tore pieces of me from my arms and then from each breast. I can’t describe it Anne. It was too terrible. But when I fainted they hit me and slapped my face until I woke again and the pain drilled into me. And then I was like you. Fixed to the stake. And they piled up the bundles of wood around my ankles. They said that the city had taken a day to burn and so would I. I was so frightened, but I could do nothing. What happened next would happen. I was meant to suffer, just as you were, Anne.”
“And then for us both the flames came. They licked at our feet and warmed us, but then, so quickly, the awfulness of the pain came. I wanted the smoke to choke me but it would not. I wanted to swallow the flames but they were too small. They just burned into my flesh. Into my feet and calves, then my thighs, then my waist and belly. Then they licked around my breasts. Then above. I felt my own body melting. I know you felt this too Grete. We burned together I think. They destroyed us together. I had never imagined such pain. Even in the worst of the tortures. But I knew it would end. I wanted it to end, but somehow I wanted it not to. I was in torment Grete. Such torment. But …. But now it is over…. Is it over for you Grete?”
“Yes. It is all over. We found each other secretly in our flames I think Anne. It was meant to be this way I suppose. I hated the pain, but like you I loved the pain too. It made me feel real. Do you understand Anne?”
“Yes. I do. Everyone saw me in my fire. I was suddenly important. I was in the marketplace of Namur and everyone looked just at me. I was a grown-up at last, not a nobody. They looked at me Grete!”
“And now we are here together Anne. I hope you like me. I really hope you do. I love your red hair. I think I will love touching you forever. Do you feel the same Anne? I hope you do…”
“Grete…. I think I do….I think so Grete. But how can I be sure?”
THE END
