A side-epilogue.
It neither happened, nor continued or ended in Rome!
Rome, Monday, 22 January 1940.
Palazzo Venezia, Mussolini’s office.
The Duce receives his minister of foreign affairs, Count Ciano.
Mussolini : “You spoke to General Carboni, Ciano!?” [General Carboni : head of SIM - Servizio Informazioni Militare, Italian miliary intelligence].
Ciano : “Yes, Duce!”
Mussolini : “Any interesting intelligence, SIM has acquired recently!?”
Ciano : “Our embassy in Stockholm has acquired interesting information in the Barbara Mohr case!”
Mussolini : “Ah, si, that wayward daughter of Herr Joachim Mohr, the arms manufacturer from Hamburg! I heard, she had vanished in Moscow and was thought to have died in a work camp!?”
Ciano : “Duce, not only does she seem, according to rumours, to have been Stalin’s concubine for a while..”
Mussolini : “Stalin’s concubine!? She is not only wayward then, Ciano, she must also have been very desperate!”
Ciano : “Yes, Duce, but…”
Mussolini : “Why didn’t she come to Italy, with us!? No lousy cold weather here, good food, friendly people, dolce vita, and men! Real men! Real men like us, Ciano! Real men, like me!”
Ciano : “Actually, Duce, she no longer is Stalin’s concubine…”
Mussolini : “See, Ciano! She was desperate! She ran away from him! She would never do when she would be with me!”
Ciano : “Certainly, Duce, but the circumstances of the events are as yet still unclear! There seems to have been a joined British-Swedish operation to help her out of the Soviet-Union, under a false diplomatic cover! The operation apparently failed, and the agents even got killed, probably executed by NKVD. But nevertheless, Signorina Mohr has one way or another managed to escape to Sweden! She is now in Stockholm in the hands of Swedish security service!”
Mussolini : “She is chased over all Europe, since! Hamburg, London, Moscow, and ‘it ended in Stockholm’. Wait! I have her file here! Refresh my memory, Ciano! What makes that Signorina Mohr so interesting, besides her pretty face and her fine tight little – judging from these photographs! Joachim Mohr is not the only, and definitely not the largest arms manufacturer in The Reich!?”
Ciano : “Her father’s business, Duce! He also seems to be involved in developing secret new weapons, that could give The Reich a serious tactical advantage!”
Mussolini : “Yes, now I recall! These secret weapons! What is about them, after all!? Göring boasts about them, Hitler keeps silent, and von Ribbentrop!? Does he even know what it is about?”
Ciano : “Duce!?”
Mussolini : “Yes, Ciano?”
Ciano : “It’s ‘Ribbentrop’, Duce! Just ‘Ribbentrop’, no ‘von’ in his name.”
Mussolini : “Yes, Ciano! You are right! It’s Ribbentrop! I am afraid, that arrogant, pompous idiot ingrains us too much with his self-declared nobility status! Even Herr Hitler jokes about it nowadays!”
Ciano : “Really, Duce?”
Mussolini : “He does! That gossip of course stays here, understood, Ciano!? The Führer is getting displeased about Ribbentrop, since he had assured, neither France nor Britain would ever declare a war against him, just for the cause of the Danzig Corridor! But after all, what brilliancy would he expect from a former chicken breeder!”
Ciano : “He was a wine trader, Duce! You are confusing Ribbentrop with Himmler, who has been a chicken breeder!”
Mussolini : “All the same, Ciano! Now, let’s take action! I want Barbara Mohr brought here, from Sweden. Order Carboni to prepare an operation with SIM!”
Ciano : “To what purpose, Duce!?”
Mussolini : “Purpose!? Think of something about these secret weapons! And as long as she is our guest, I will take care of her myself! Of course, I bet, she would prefer to stay! What Stalin got, I want!”
Ciano : “Is that a good idea, Duce?”
Mussolini : “Why not, Ciano!? I can take care of her well!”
Ciano : “I heard from SIM too, she can terribly complain, Duce!”
Mussolini : “Ciano! You should know me better! As a party comrade and as my son-in-law! No women ever complained after knowing me better!”
Ciano : “She is said to be a terrible car driver…”
Mussolini : “I shall drive her!”
Ciano : “She has trouble, understanding fine print!”
Mussolini : “Never mind! She is not supposed to read things here! As long as she is good in bed!”
Ciano : “She… issues demerits to those she thinks they mock her!”
Mussolini : “I shall give her demerits, with my bare hands on her bare tight little, over my lap, when she does not behave! With greatest pleasure, Ciano! So, what’s all the problem?”
Ciano : “Duce, as …your son-in-law…”
Mussolini : “I know what you are up to, Ciano! It is Clara’s reaction, you worry about, isn’t it!?”
Ciano : “Something like that… yes!”
Mussolini : “Listen, Galeazzo! Both as your Duce and as head of the family, Signorina Petacci is my problem! I can handle it, and I will handle it! Trust me! Just think about how we would get Signorina Mohr out of Stockholm!?”
Ciano : “Handbook says : send a few gliders with commando’s to her residence, just get her out of her room, and rush her out with a small plane that needs only very short landing and take-off strips. A Fieseler Storch, for instance, like the Germans have!”
Mussolini : “No, Ciano, such a plan will never work! Nowhere, never! What about this: when she makes a walk in a park in Stockholm, our men can abduct her!?”
Ciano : “Duce, we are not The Syndicate! Perhaps, there are more subtle ways, then.”
Mussolini : “Name one, Ciano!?”
Ciano : “Seduction, Duce! After all we are Italians, aren’t we!? First step : SIM has found out that Signorina Mohr is fond of Riesling wine! We could invite her on a Riesling wine party! Raised by some of our attractive and seducing Italian men! SIM also heard that Signorina Mohr is already carried away after two glasses of Riesling! Our Italian charms will do the rest!”
Mussolini : “Yes, Ciano, and do an opiate in her glass!”
Ciano : “If necessary, Duce! Anyway, once we got her out of Sweden, the rest should be piece of cake. We’ll ship her over neutral countries to Rome!”
Mussolini : “All right, Ciano! We need Riesling! Do you know a good wine trader who can provide us with two crates or so?”
Ciano : “Ribbentrop?”
Mussolini : “Che cosa..!?”
Ciano : “Für guten Wein, musst Ihr bei Ribbentrop sein!”
Mussolini : “Very funny, Ciano! But leave the Nazis out of our plans! Especially him! Go, and speak with Carboni about my plan! How should we call this operation, by the way!?”
Ciano : “Mhhh. Why not ‘Operation Riesling’, Duce?”
Mussolini : “Isn’t that too obvious, Ciano!”
Ciano : “The advantage of naming an operation with an obvious code name, Duce, is that no one will think we would have been so stupid to choose an obvious name for the operation! All those who know Signorina Mohr’s preference for Riesling, will never come up with the idea that Signorina Mohr is the actual target of a secret operation codenamed ‘Riesling’, and that we want to catch her by means of Riesling wine!”
Mussolini : “Yes, Ciano! Very cunning strategy! It will be ‘Operation Riesling’! Agreed!”
(Five minutes later : hardly has Ciano left the office to confer with General Carboni, or Clara Petacci, Mussolini’s mistress, enters).
Clara Petacci : “Benito! I sawwa Count Ciano and General Carboni!? Tella me! Tella me! What is going to happen!? Are you going to declare war on France!?”
Mussolini : “Declare war on France? No Clara, that’s not the question today!”
Clara Petacci (pouting) : “But Benito!? You promised you would! You promised me a romantic stay in Paris!? And a Holiday in mondain Saint-Tropez!? And a villa in Monte Carlo!?”
Mussolini : “Clara, it is not that simple! There is such a thing as diplomacy, you know…!”
(meanwhile, Petacci, was browsing Mussolini’s desk, and she finds the Barbara Mohr file, the Duce had not yet put back).
Clara Petacci (waving with a photo of Barbara Mohr) : “Benito! Who isa this bimbo!?”
Mussolini : “Nothing special, Claretta! A foreign spy, we like to catch!”
Clara Petacci : “Benito! Do you think I’ma stupid!? I knowa what you are upa to, Benito! Anda letta me tella you this! If this ‘spy’ of you setsa one foot into this Palazzo, I usa my contacts to have her interrogated in a way treatment from Gestapo, SIS and NKVD combined willa be tickling! And at the end, I willa scratcha her eyes out myselva! Capice, Benito!?”
Mussolini : “But, cara Claretta, mi amore…!?”
Clara Petacci : “And after I am done with her, I will crusha your balls, Benito!”
(meanwhile, Ciano has started discussing Operation Riesling with General Carboni in a nearby meeting room in the palazzo. Telephone rings, Ciano takes up).
Ciano : “Pronto!?”
Operator : “Il Duce wants to speak you, Vostra Eccellenza!”
Ciano : “All right! Duce!?”
Mussolini : “Ciano! Change of orders! Cancel Operation Riesling immediately! Do you hear!? Immediately!”
Ciano : “At your orders, Duce!”
Ciano lays down the phone, and looks ironically at Carboni : “Petacci must have found out!”
