Loxuru
Graf von Kreuzigung
JEHANNE : THE REAL STORY!
“God Allmighty Himself has a great plan with you!”
“Aufmachen! Aufmachen!”
“Just one more small detail : you’ll get burned at the stake at the end!”
“I want to have her strip searched!”
“Fortunately, I have nothing to look for in Bretagne!”
“At the end of his hangover, awaits him the surprise of a lifetime!”
“Get yourself men’s clothes if you want to go to war!”
“Handsome!? Sure! Apart from the fact that he has only one eye, one tooth and one ball left!”
“Don’t I look fat in this armour?”
“German? I hate fucking Germans, you bitch!”
“We’ll bring him to Reims! In a marinade if necessary!”
“Congratulations maid! You just committed a war crime!”
"I mean Pierre Cauchon, the Bishop of Beauvais. His name is Cauchon, and he is a cochon!"
“For God’s sake, don’t let him get a hand on the key of her chastity belt!”
“Stop ringing these church bells! I order you!!”
"Did these heavenly voices tell you, you could fly!?"
“There has been made a little mistake, some mix up,….”
“Trust that God Allmighty always keeps His promises!”
“… but we assure you we do everything to find out what happened, to avoid it in the future!”
“My sister, that whore who got herself fucked by the king of the sheep!”
“He is not the murderous psychopath, his father was, but nevertheless…”
“I already thought, I recognized that smell of sheep shit!”
“But he is a bastard son! Even his own mother has confirmed it!”
“A transvestite as national hero! That’s typically French!”
“I don’t care about his opinion! It is his sacred duty!”
“Let’s make France great again!”
“To Dunkerque, Atkins, before it is too late!”
Already a few years, I have in my head the outline for an ‘alternative history’ story of France’s greatest heroine : Jeanne d’Arc. As @Doragon recently started his thread :
I had an incentive to put the ideas into a story. It’s just a folly, the key moments of her life, explained in a specific context. Yet, I thought it would be better to put it in a separate story thread.
Have fun!
“God Allmighty Himself has a great plan with you!”
“Aufmachen! Aufmachen!”
“Just one more small detail : you’ll get burned at the stake at the end!”
“I want to have her strip searched!”
“Fortunately, I have nothing to look for in Bretagne!”
“At the end of his hangover, awaits him the surprise of a lifetime!”
“Get yourself men’s clothes if you want to go to war!”
“Handsome!? Sure! Apart from the fact that he has only one eye, one tooth and one ball left!”
“Don’t I look fat in this armour?”
“German? I hate fucking Germans, you bitch!”
“We’ll bring him to Reims! In a marinade if necessary!”
“Congratulations maid! You just committed a war crime!”
"I mean Pierre Cauchon, the Bishop of Beauvais. His name is Cauchon, and he is a cochon!"
“For God’s sake, don’t let him get a hand on the key of her chastity belt!”
“Stop ringing these church bells! I order you!!”
"Did these heavenly voices tell you, you could fly!?"
“There has been made a little mistake, some mix up,….”
“Trust that God Allmighty always keeps His promises!”
“… but we assure you we do everything to find out what happened, to avoid it in the future!”
“My sister, that whore who got herself fucked by the king of the sheep!”
“He is not the murderous psychopath, his father was, but nevertheless…”
“I already thought, I recognized that smell of sheep shit!”
“But he is a bastard son! Even his own mother has confirmed it!”
“A transvestite as national hero! That’s typically French!”
“I don’t care about his opinion! It is his sacred duty!”
“Let’s make France great again!”
“To Dunkerque, Atkins, before it is too late!”
Already a few years, I have in my head the outline for an ‘alternative history’ story of France’s greatest heroine : Jeanne d’Arc. As @Doragon recently started his thread :
I had an incentive to put the ideas into a story. It’s just a folly, the key moments of her life, explained in a specific context. Yet, I thought it would be better to put it in a separate story thread.
Have fun!
I’m going to go find a famous talking yew tree in Wales pretty soon too 
