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Medieval Horrors
- Thread starter jonesygirl
- Start date
Unless you're a Dolcett girl, in which case you're thinking
"I hope my rump's as tender as those three,
maybe there's a little more fat on mine,
never mind, that will baste me nicely."
Alas ... I have such a tight little ...
malins
Stumbling Seeker
I would hope so. Do they .... want to change anything about that?
Barb was pretty quick with that! What happened- did she and Siss have a falling out???
jonesygirl
Tribunica Potestas
It's hanging day at Little Brampton again but as you can see it's absolutely p*****g it down and you can't expect people to turn up and risk catching a cold or worse in this weather.
The covers are still on the open air meat market and the locals have taken refuge in the several ale houses around the market square. News has also just arrived that the Witch Wagon is stuck in mud and heavy traffic around Glastonbury where several groups of young troubadours were set to appear in some farmer's field. Of course the Church has rightly condemned these so called performers for the use of their bodies while performing. The contortions, acrobatics and use of masks are considered profane and put their bodies to shame. The Church has declared that there is no salvation for them which goes a long way to explaining why the thoroughfares are jam packed with their followers!! While we wait a young urchin called Cliffe has volunteered to entertain us with one of his songs called "We're all going on a Summer Holy Day". We've sent him to the local executioner to test his axe.
And now I hand you over to Julie who has arrived at the home of Fanny Haddock to see what culinary Medieval delights she has on offer today.
Julie:"Well here we are in the kitchen and here is Fanny herself ...with a knife in her hand....and ready to..er...So exactly what are you preparing for us today Fanny?"
Fanny:"It be Witch y-farsyd."
Julie:"Stuffed roasted witch?"
Fanny:"That is what I just said."
Julie:"So..er..how does one prepare this dish?"
Fanny:"Take raw Eyroun, and draw hem Iborw a straynoure Iban grate fayre brede; take Safroun and Salt, and pouder of Pepir, and Swet of a schep, and melle calle to gederys in a fayre bolle, Iben broche Ibin Witch; Iben farce her, and sewe Ibe hole and lat her roste and Iban serue forth."
Julie:" Take raw eggs, and pass them through a strainer; then grate good bread; take Saffron & Salt, & powder of Pepper, & Suet of a sheep, & mix all together in a good bowl; then put the witch on a spit; then stuff her, & sew the hole (shut), & let her roast; & then serve forth...I see you have one already cooking"
Fanny:"That I do...you be staying to share?"
Julie"Er....I was er..thinking of having a nice salad...wait!..some breaking news!..the covers are off, it's stopped raining so it's back to Little Brampton...Pheww!!"
Yes. Welcome back to Little Brampton where the sun has just made a rare appearance. The hangings have just begun. Word has got round and the taverns have emptied..of women folk at least. Some tasty witches on offer today!
The covers are still on the open air meat market and the locals have taken refuge in the several ale houses around the market square. News has also just arrived that the Witch Wagon is stuck in mud and heavy traffic around Glastonbury where several groups of young troubadours were set to appear in some farmer's field. Of course the Church has rightly condemned these so called performers for the use of their bodies while performing. The contortions, acrobatics and use of masks are considered profane and put their bodies to shame. The Church has declared that there is no salvation for them which goes a long way to explaining why the thoroughfares are jam packed with their followers!! While we wait a young urchin called Cliffe has volunteered to entertain us with one of his songs called "We're all going on a Summer Holy Day". We've sent him to the local executioner to test his axe.
And now I hand you over to Julie who has arrived at the home of Fanny Haddock to see what culinary Medieval delights she has on offer today.
Julie:"Well here we are in the kitchen and here is Fanny herself ...with a knife in her hand....and ready to..er...So exactly what are you preparing for us today Fanny?"
Fanny:"It be Witch y-farsyd."
Julie:"Stuffed roasted witch?"
Fanny:"That is what I just said."
Julie:"So..er..how does one prepare this dish?"
Fanny:"Take raw Eyroun, and draw hem Iborw a straynoure Iban grate fayre brede; take Safroun and Salt, and pouder of Pepir, and Swet of a schep, and melle calle to gederys in a fayre bolle, Iben broche Ibin Witch; Iben farce her, and sewe Ibe hole and lat her roste and Iban serue forth."
Julie:" Take raw eggs, and pass them through a strainer; then grate good bread; take Saffron & Salt, & powder of Pepper, & Suet of a sheep, & mix all together in a good bowl; then put the witch on a spit; then stuff her, & sew the hole (shut), & let her roast; & then serve forth...I see you have one already cooking"
Fanny:"That I do...you be staying to share?"
Julie"Er....I was er..thinking of having a nice salad...wait!..some breaking news!..the covers are off, it's stopped raining so it's back to Little Brampton...Pheww!!"
Yes. Welcome back to Little Brampton where the sun has just made a rare appearance. The hangings have just begun. Word has got round and the taverns have emptied..of women folk at least. Some tasty witches on offer today!
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old slave
FELIS RESPICIENS
That reads very like the recipes in the chapter Medieval Britain by Maggie Black in the book A Taste of History: 10,000 Years of Food in Britain
I enjoyed trying to understand it before I saw the translation.
One of the top 10 manips of all time!!!
cruxlover
Tribune
In "The Hitchikers guide to the Galaxy" Arthur Dent, Ford Prefect, Zaphod Beeblebrox, Trillian and Marvin (the paranoid android) dine at Milliways the restaurant at the End of the Universe." The dish of the day is a Megathalon Major cow, a beast that has been bred to want to be eaten. The cow describes to the 4 friends how good its various cuts will taste and how it has fattened itself for their benefit.Unless you're a Dolcett girl, in which case you're thinking
"I hope my rump's as tender as those three,
maybe there's a little more fat on mine,
never mind, that will baste me nicely."
Dolcett has girls who want to be eaten, the next logical step. In "The Wedding" the three bridesmaids worry over how tasty they will each prove to the guests. (Especially the groom's little sister "I hope my cunt fillet will be delicious" -for her brother.)
Which you were good enough to post for us, Cruxlover, at
http://www.cruxforums.com/xf/threads/newly-found-dolcett-the-wedding.5217/#post-236497
http://www.cruxforums.com/xf/threads/newly-found-dolcett-the-wedding.5217/#post-236497
jonesygirl
Tribunica Potestas
I must look that up. The recipe is from http://www.godecookery.com/mtrans/mtrans.htm . It's under Meats lower down the page and was Pygge y-farsyd. It must have been written long after the Great Famine.
jonesygirl
Tribunica Potestas
Thanks for that. Sometimes it can be difficult to figure out what people like.
One of the top 10 manips of all time!!!
From the bodies to the smug smile of the one spectator to the fear of the one waiting her turn while another expires you hit everything!!!
jonesygirl
Tribunica Potestas
And as you will have discovered yourself, it's very tempting to want to include everything especially when taking photographs at important events. It usually doesn't work so you zoom in on what is the real focal point. When I was much younger and didn't have a decent camera with a zoom I'd simply walk right up to the subject. So let's concentrate on "the fear of the one waiting her turn"....dilated nostrils, eyes wide, mouth open, ashen faced might do the trick. So here is another pic especially for Mr Tree.
Here we are back in Little Brampton. The hangings started late this afternoon due to the local hooligans playing the dreadful game called football. Apparently they stuff a leather sphere with straw then kick it up and down streets, shouting, swearing, terrorizing the locals and breaking windows which are not cheap to replace. The King has denounced football as "A useless sport which distracts the youth from practicing the noble art of archery." He has a good point but he was the one who lost the big match at Bannockburn, hence the Sun headline "SuperCalliesGoBallisticEdwardWas Atrocious"...oops..already mentioned that!. Anyway, the game is over for this afternoon so hanging witches can continue in relative safety.
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