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Merry Christmas
- Thread starter ImageMaker
- Start date
I DON'T THINK I REALLY AM IN NEED OF A PONY.
BUT MERRY CHRISTMAS ALL THE SAME. I'M SURE I'LL FIND SOMETHING NICE UNDER A TREE, ER, THE TREE.
And bombastic New Year
misskatie25
Magistrate
thecuriousone
Tribune
Darth Agonoth
Magistrate
Greetings, insignificant forumlings,
As the meaningless rotation of your pitiful planet brings forth another cycle of this... "Christmas," I find myself compelled by ancient traditions to extend my dark wishes. May your celebrations be filled with exquisite suffering, and may your decorative wreaths transform into instruments of torture, stretching your limbs upon the rack until your joints pop like festive crackers. Let the candy canes twist into crosses of torment, where you shall hang like twinkling ornaments, while carolers chant your agonized screams. May the weight of your presents crush your pathetic spine like the insignificant insect you are.
I hope Santa's cookies choke you just enough to taste the sweet embrace of death, but not enough to deny you the agony of consciousness. May your Christmas tree needles pierce your feet, and may your eggnogs turn into deadly weapons of mass destruction.
Remember, while you celebrate in your mundane festivities, I shall be here, seated upon my throne of darkness, finding amusement in your futile attempts at "holiday cheer." Your string lights are no match for the power of the Dark Side.
Peace is a lie. There is only fruitcake.
Through fruitcake, I gain calories.
Through calories, I gain weight.
Through weight, I gain self-loathing.
Through self-loathing, my diet is broken.
The gym membership shall free me.
...And may your Christmas pudding be slightly overcooked.
With supreme contempt and unlimited power,
Wishing you a Merry Sithmas,
Darth Agonoth
P.S. - Your lack of proper gift-wrapping technique disturbs me.
As the meaningless rotation of your pitiful planet brings forth another cycle of this... "Christmas," I find myself compelled by ancient traditions to extend my dark wishes. May your celebrations be filled with exquisite suffering, and may your decorative wreaths transform into instruments of torture, stretching your limbs upon the rack until your joints pop like festive crackers. Let the candy canes twist into crosses of torment, where you shall hang like twinkling ornaments, while carolers chant your agonized screams. May the weight of your presents crush your pathetic spine like the insignificant insect you are.
I hope Santa's cookies choke you just enough to taste the sweet embrace of death, but not enough to deny you the agony of consciousness. May your Christmas tree needles pierce your feet, and may your eggnogs turn into deadly weapons of mass destruction.
Remember, while you celebrate in your mundane festivities, I shall be here, seated upon my throne of darkness, finding amusement in your futile attempts at "holiday cheer." Your string lights are no match for the power of the Dark Side.
Peace is a lie. There is only fruitcake.
Through fruitcake, I gain calories.
Through calories, I gain weight.
Through weight, I gain self-loathing.
Through self-loathing, my diet is broken.
The gym membership shall free me.
...And may your Christmas pudding be slightly overcooked.
With supreme contempt and unlimited power,
Wishing you a Merry Sithmas,
Darth Agonoth
P.S. - Your lack of proper gift-wrapping technique disturbs me.
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Mikerytel
Senator
May the cheer be with you.... always
gregorad73
Spectator
Merry Christmas from a country girl
Mikerytel
Senator
Merry Christmas
gregorad73
Spectator
Merry Christmas to you
