I wrote a story, still quite short but my longest so far. About a woman that chooses to crucify herself with a machine. With a pic that belongs to the story.
The crucifying machine in the park
in the park just south of to the city centre there is a machine for people that wish to end their life. It nails volunteers to a cross and hoists them high in the air, where they suffer for days while countless people watch them while they relax in the park. Most people don't understand why, but sometimes someone puts it to use. At the first monday of each month, the remains of crucyfied people, if any, are taken from their crosses and incinerated by the local authoritties. Until that time, bodies would be on display on their cross ten meters above the central square in the park.
One sunny afternoon, Mia sat on a bench in the park, her gaze fixated on the peculiar device that seemed to be a spectacle. The machine was a bizarre contraption; a wooden cross mounted on a sturdy steel pole. It had sturdy metal cuffs in open position, as if they were inviting you to put your limb in them. Various mechanics were connected to the cuffs, their purpose not clear to Mia. She had always been fascinated by it, but she never quite understood the purpose.
Only a couple of weeks ago Mia had moved to this city, after getting an office job that was completely unsatisfying. But the bills had to be paid, so she reluctantly endured the stress, the workload, and the constant negative feedback from her boss.
As Mia watched, a young woman approached the machine, her eyes full of resolution. She stepped out of her dress revealing a stunningly beautiful body, climbed onto the stainless steel cross, and placed her hands and feet against the automatic cuffs.
"This is it," the woman whispered to herself, her voice trembling with both fear and determination. The crowd had gathered in hushed whispers, their eyes fixed on her as if she were some kind of exotic beast. Mia couldn't help but feel a mix of sadness and curiosity as she observed the scene unfold.
With a final, deep breath, the young woman closed her eyes, her hands and feet clenching against the cold metal of the cuffs. A few moments later, the machine sprang to life with a low hum, and her body suddenly jerked off the cross, her arms and legs straightening and locked into place. Then the nails were driven into her hands and feet, and she was lifted high into the air. Her screams echoed through the park, but they were quickly drowned out by the murmur of the crowd.
Mia couldn't look away, her curiosity turning into a morbid fascination. She watched as the young woman writhed in agony, her body strung up as if crucified. The hydraulic rams worked in unison, raising her higher and higher into the sky.
While the afternoon turned into evening, the young woman's screams grew fainter, and her body began to show signs of fatigue. But still, she endured, her eyes closed tight and her body trembling.
Even with all her whits Mia couldn't understand the reason behind this bizarre spectacle, but she couldn't tear herself away. She sat there, watching as the young woman's torment continued, her eyes fixed on the peculiar view.
Mia had to leave the park eventually, as the sun began to set and darkness enveloped the city, but she couldn't shake the feeling that this machine, and the woman's painful ordeal, would haunt her dreams for days to come. The sight of the girl's suffering and the casual indifference of the crowd that gathered to watch her grapple with her demons left Mia with a profound sense of disillusionment.
As she walked away from the park, the city began to seem stranger and more alien to her. The people bustling around her seemed to have a darkness in their eyes, a hidden pain that they could not escape. It was as if the machine in the park had somehow revealed the true nature of the world, and Mia was left questioning everything she had ever known.
The next day Mia passed the park early morning, when going to work. She could not resist to make a short detour, to visit the machine. Almost no people were around, just someone walking his dog, oblivious of what had happened the day before. To her surprise, the woman still hung on the cross, seemingly lifeless. Mia approached to take a closer look. Suddenly, the woman opened her eyes.
"Are you okay?" Mia asked cautiously, her voice barely audible as she moved closer to the woman. The woman didn't respond, but she gave Mia a faint smile. There was something in her eyes that Mia couldn't quite place. It was a mixture of pain, determination, and deep sadness. “Why did you do this?”
“I've lived a life of suffering and despair. This isn't an easy decision, but I've had enough. I chose this because I wanted to take control of my final moments. The crowd, the pain...it's all part of my journey. I don't expect you to understand, but I wanted to do this in a way that was...public. A statement, perhaps. To show that even in our darkest moments, we can still find the strength to endure."
Mia couldn't believe what she was hearing. She had been so affected by the spectacle that she had never stop to consider the woman's perspective. The woman's determination and resilience were both terrifying and admirable.
"I don't know if I can accept this," Mia said, her voice quivering. "But I won't just walk away from you. Will you do something for me? That you'll tell me your name, so I can pray for you?"
The woman's smile grew a little more genuine as she replied, "My name is Adria. I know it might be hard for you to understand, but I appreciate your concern. Please, just remember that we all have our own battles to fight, and sometimes, the ones we fight might not be visible to those around us." Mia nodded solemnly, feeling a strange sense of connection to this woman she had just met. She took one last look at Adria before turning to leave the park, feeling changed by the encounter. As she walked away, she couldn't shake the thought of Adria hanging on the cross, enduring her painful ordeal in a way that seemed so foreign to her own life.
Over the next few days, Mia found herself returning to the park to check on Adria. Every time, she was surprised to see her still hanging there, her body pale and weak but her spirit unbroken. She never spoke to Mia, but their silent connection grew stronger with each passing day.
One morning, as Mia approached the park, she saw something that made her heart skip a beat. Adria's body was limp, and her eyes were closed. She had not moved in hours. Fear and panic filled Mia's chest. She raced to the base of the contraption, her hands shaking hoped against all odds to see a sign of life. There was none.
As Mia stood there, her heart heavy with sadness, she couldn't help but feel a sense of closure. She had come to understand the woman's reason for choosing such an extreme method of ending her life, even if she couldn't fully comprehend it.
As Mia watched the crowd go about their business, seemingly oblivious to what had happened, she felt a sense of disconnect. She couldn't help but wonder how they could not care at about Adria’s fate.
Mia stood there for a while, watching the world go by, feeling like an outsider in this strange city. She couldn't shake the feeling that the world had changed. She turned to leave, feeling like she needed to go back to her own life but also feeling the weight of Adria's story and her own disillusionment.
As Mia left the park, she didn't know what to think. She had never witnessed anything quite like it. She felt like she had been given a glimpse into a world she had never seen before, a world of pain and suffering that was hidden beneath the surface. She couldn't help but feel like she had been forever changed by her encounter with Adria.
In the days that followed, Mia found herself thinking about Adria a lot. She couldn't stop wondering why someone would want to subject themselves to such pain and suffering in order to find some sort of release.
But also she wondered what it would feel like to do the same herself.
As the days passed, Mia found herself returning to the park more frequently, drawn to the spot where Adria had hung. Each time, she hoped to see some sign of movement from the still figure. But it remained as she had left it, a silent reminder of the brutal spectacle she had witnessed.
Mia tried to push the thoughts of Adria from her mind, but they continued to haunt her. She found herself sneaking glances at strangers, wondering if they too were hiding a secret pain. She began to see the world in a new light, one where the facade of normalcy concealed a multitude of suffering. Again and again she thought about using the machine to crucify herself.
Summer turned into autumn, followed by a dark, unpleasant winter until the springtime came. Mia's job drained her, as the bitch that somehow obtained the right to call herself boss found again and again new ways to make Mia and other people feel useless. The dark thoughts of self-inflicted suffering kept on creeping back into her mind. Every evening, she found herself walking past the park and couldn't resist the urge to visit the machine, hoping to find some solace.
However, she was unable to shake them off. Instead, the dreams became only stronger every day until she could not think about anything else any more. She couldn't stop considering how it would be if she could just end the pain and suffering she felt inside. And yet, she also felt a sense of fascination with the machine, as if it represented a way out of the darkness that she couldn't escape.
One day, as she was sitting in her office, Mia found herself daydreaming about the machine and Adria. She imagined herself lying on the cold metal surface, the ropes pulling tight around her wrists and ankles. The pain would be excruciating, but the sensation of being lifted high into the sky would be exhilarating.
As her thoughts became more vivid, Mia found herself logging out, getting up and telling her boss: Ï don’t feel well, miss Walker. I better take the day off and go home to take some sleep.” A very unfriendly remark about her attitude from her boss, but it did not touch her any more. She was already underway out of the office.
Mia was glad to leave her office and found herself taking the long way towards the park where she had witnessed Adria's crucifixion. She was resolved to get herself crucified. There it was, dominating the square in the middle of the park. Her looming doom.
As Mia approached the machine, she felt a strange sense of calm wash over her. It was as if this was her destiny, and there was no turning back. She could hear the voices of those around her, but they seemed distant, as if they were speaking from a different world.
With determination in her eyes, Mia discarded her clothes, stepped onto the machine that would be her destruction, and placed herself into the indicated position. She could feel the cold steel restraints at the back of her hands, but the sensation only fueled her desire to experience the pain and suffering that Adria had endured.
As the restraints tightened with a loud click, readjusting her limbs to fit exactly in the restraints with irresistable power, she felt a strange sense of exhilaration and release. For the first time in what felt like forever, she was taking control of her life, her fate. She felt a rush of energy coursing through her veins as she struggled against the unrelenting metal cuffs, twisting and turning and somehow feeling just right.
A crowd had gathered around the machine, murmuring and whispering among themselves. Mia could hear them, but she refused to acknowledge them. She focused on her goal, her determination unwavering.
It was then, as she felt the nails penetrate her skin with another loud click, and the cross started to raise upwards, that she experienced a sense of euphoria. The pain was intense, but it was a pain she chose, a pain she controlled. It was difficult to breathe, but she felt as if she were free while restrained, as if she were finally escaping the darkness that had consumed her.
As her body hung there, she closed her eyes and let go. She was no longer Mia, she was just a spectacle, a statement, a reminder that even in our darkest moments, we can find the strength to endure, to fight, to make a choice.
When the cross was raised in the air the crowd watched in awe, some horrified, some fascinated. Some recording everything on their phones. But Mia’s connection with them was gone. They meant nothing to her any more. She didn't care that she would be all over social media. She was free. She would never have to face the pain and suffering of this world again. She was joining Adria in a place where there was no more darkness, only light.
That evening there was a performance at a stage on the other side of the park. She could hear the music in the distance, and see the people dancing and being happy. It was chilly, and she was high enough in the air to be fully exposed, and feel the cold wind drain all warmth from her exposed body.
As Mia hung there, her body growing colder and limp, she felt a sense of peace wash over her. She had finally overcome the darkness that had consumed her for so long. The world below seemed distant and unimportant now – a place where people danced and laughed, while she soared above it all, in pain but also free from her pain.
Mia's spirit soared, her mind filled with images of Adria's crucifixion. She had shown her how to find the strength to endure, to fight, and to make a choice – even if it meant taking her own life. In that moment, Mia knew it was the only way she could truly escape the torment that had plagued her for so long.
The crowd below began to disperse,leaving behind just some rubble, empty beer cans, and the occasional homeless junkie finding a spot to use his means to escape from the real world.
As the night wore on, Mia's body began to lose feeling. Her fingers and toes tingled, then numbed, and she became overwhelmingly tired. But she could not rest, she had to lift her body up again and again to make breathing easier.
She closed her eyes for some time, and when she opened them she noticed the sun began to rise. Maybe just a normal sunrise, but for Mia it was the most beautiful spectacle. She knew that she would possibly not see another sunrise. Mia's body grew colder still. Her skin felt like it was made of ice, and her breaths came faster and shallower. She wondered how long it would take, before her time would be up.
Down below in the park, the day started, Cleaners collected the trash from the day before, people walked their dogs and the junkies left to hassle some money to score another hit. the sun became warmer, a promising spring day. Some birds sang from the trees, occasionally landing in the grass to pick something to eat. Once, a dove landed on the cross. Mia wanted to touch it. So close, but, restrained as Mia was, so far out of reach.
For a while, Mia let herself drift in that place between life and death. The sun continued its ascent, gaining in strength and warming her up. As the world below slowly came back to life, she remained suspended, a silent witness to the cycle of life and death that unfolded around her.
The doves continued to cricle around the cross, their wings sometimes brushing against her icy skin. She tried to reach out to them, to touch their softness and warmth. But it was an impossible task, one she knew she would never be able to complete.
As the morning wore on, it became hotter and hotter. Her pale skin was fully exposed to the mercyless sunbeams, no sunblock to protect her. After a couple of hours her skin felt like it was on fire, but she was determined to make it through the day. Something was adding to her lack of comfort, the more and more urgent need to pee. There was only one resolve, just let it go. She heard someone shouting: “Look at her, she peed herself!” Now she felt utterly humiliated.
In the evening her skin was red as a lobster, her throat was like leather from dehydration and she had no feeling at all in her arms anymore.
Suddenly she heard a voice she recognized from below. It was her boss, the horrible Miss Walker. “So here you are Mia. Now I know why you did not show up at work. And it is so difficult nowadays to hire competent people. Not that you were competent by the way. Anyway, you’re fired, Mia. I think you will not be able to clear out your desk in person, so I will do that for you tomorrow. Have a great night on your cross and goodbye Mia.
Mia wanted to shout some insults towards her heartless boss, but, dehydrated as she was, her voice refused.
She mustered the last of her strength to utter a final, hoarse retort. "Adria, wherever you are, I hope you're proud of me." With that, she closed her eyes and let the sun's rays wash over her, ready to surrender to the inevitable.
As the night fell over the park, Mia's body slowly grew colder, her breaths shallow and weak. The birds had long since departed for the safety of their nests, leaving behind only the faint rustle of leaves in the breeze.
In the distance, the sound of laughter and music from the bars nearby could still faintly be heard, but it was muted now, as if muffled by a thick veil of mist. Mia's spirit, too, felt distant and remote, drifting away from the world below like a ghost.
Then she heard a familiar voice again. “Mia! Is that you??? What are you doing up there.” It was her best friend Jenny. Mia tried to say something, but could not. She just looked at Jenny, standing below her cross hand in hand with the man she was currently dating. “Why did you do this?” Jenny looked sad. “It’s too late now. I hope you don’t suffer too much. Farewell Mia.” With tears in her eyes, Jenny turned around and walked off with her lover.
In that moment, Mia felt a deep sadness wash over her, knowing that her friend would never understand. She could only watch helplessly as Jenny disappeared from her sight, becoming just another speck in the distance.
The cool night air began to replace the heat of the day, and Mia's body grew colder still. She closed her eyes and let her mind drift, thinking of all the times she and Jenny had shared, the laughter, the tears, and the pain. In her mind's eye, she saw Jenny's face one last time, etched with sadness and confusion as she turned away.
As Mia swayed on the cross, the crowd below slowly thinned out, leaving only a few remaining onlookers. They whispered to one another, trying to make sense of what they had witnessed. Some were visibly shaken, while others simply turned away, their curiosity sated.
In the quietness of the deserted park, Mia’s body swayed on her cross in the cold wind, but she barely noticed anything anymore. The night was just a haze to her mind.
She opened her eyes and noticed that she had survived another night, it was morning again. Her mind drifted away again. Then she heard wings flapping. A crow has landed on her shoulder. She was too weak to try to chase it away. It started picking at her eyes. Mia tried to swipe at the crow, but her weakened arms could not escape the restraints. The pain from the pecking was overwhelming, but her tired body couldn't bring herself to struggle.
She remained suspended, a blinded, silent witness to the new day as another crow landed on her and started tearing a piece of her flesh. She hoped for it all to end soon.
Let it end.
Let it end.
......
During the day several crows picked at her, mutilating her dying body. By the evening she was unrecognizable. But she did not notice any more. She was together with Adria in the next world.