21 Hiking barefoot with nipple clamps
When I stood naked in the morning in front of the cross, the weals from yesterday’s whipping had disappeared, they existed only in my mind, in my soul. My cousin smiled at me encouragingly, "Today, three and a half hours, Lisette?"
Three and a half? Half an hour more than the day before? She noticed my dubious look,
"We’ve not got enough time for two sessions, Lis. We want to go to the Blessed Virgin Chapel in Kehlwangen. Even if we go by train - the walk back takes too long. You can only be crucified once today."
She came up to me. "If you're afraid you’ll scream, you can wear the gag."
I shook my head, not the cruel gag, not today. "I don’t want it,” I said. "not today. And no lashes before." I ran my fingers over my thigh, "You can’t see anything, but I’m still feeling yesterday’s flogging a bit."
Dorothee's eyes were filled with compassion, "Oh Lisette," she hugged me, "Is it so bad? If it is, we can delay your crucifixion."
I returned her hug, "It’s not that bad, I can stand it, I can just still feel it quite clearly." I looked at her, "I’ll do three and a half hours on the cross, then we’ll go to Kehlwangen."
"You’re crazy," whispered Doro, and kissed me on the cheek Then she led me gently to the cross. "Come, Lisette, it’s time to suffer."
Time to suffer - what an expression! These three words said so much! I lay down on the cross and gave up control of myself to my cousin. She strapped me and hauled me up. As always, I felt so happy I could have sung for joy. Crucified! At last! Ohhhh! I had to think back to the first day, to my shyness when Doro had persuaded me to take off my clothes, and I kept my panties on, she’d taken them off me after she’d tied my arms to the crossbar! By now it was completely normal for me to strip naked to go on the cross, I would even refuse to keep my panties or even to wear a bikini. I could only enjoy it properly in the nude, experiencing my total helplessness. Only naked could I feel the smooth wood that was holding me captive, on naked could I enjoy the feeling of being on display. This was part of it, the desire to be humiliated. I thought about Doros insane proposal for me to go on the cross in front of a group of paying spectators. The idea had something, it turned me on.
Anyway, I was very excited as always at the beginning of my crucifixions, and the idea of being exposed naked in front of spectators reinforced this excitement still more. I began to think seriously about this plan - not only because I wanted to fly with my cousin to New Zealand, but also because the idea of suffering on the cross for the pleasure of strangers excited me beyond measure. I was soaking wet and squirming slowly on the bar.
I felt the smooth wood of the footrest under my bare feet, my most intense point of contact with the cross. There were crucifixions where the feet of the crucified dangled in the air. I had researched all possible ways on the internet. I liked them all without exception, but being strapped to the cross as I was, I liked that the most.
Dorothea was standing in front of me and looking at me, she was loving it, seeing my naked body strapped to the cross. Would strangers look at me the same way? With wide eyes in which glowed a mixture of hunger and desire? Would I look attractive in their eyes? You can figure it out, Lisette, you just have to agree, Doro will take care of everything, she’s a born organizer. I leaned back against the wood, and dropped my head on my left shoulder. I'll think about it, I made up my mind.
Three and a half hours this morning. Half an hour longer than yesterday. Initially I’d been raised up for a quarter of an hour. Soon to half an hour. Would more hours follow soon? I shuddered at the thought. Five hours. Six hours. And then? Even longer? Could I do that? Certainly - the ancient Romans crucified disobedient slaves from morning to night, up to twelve hours. Again a shudder ran through me, twelve hours, a monstrous time! How often would I break down crying? How would I bear the thirst if I got nothing to drink? Would there be quiet hours among the crises? Would I cry out at some point until my throat was sore?
"You look beautiful," said Dorothea from below, 'as always, when you’re crucified, Lis." She smiled, "The ancient Romans had it good, they could buy pretty slaves and crucify them to their hearts’ content.” Her face took on a dreamy expression. "If I were a rich Roman lady, I’d buy myself me a whole coffle of pretty slaves, they’d have to take turns on the cross in the yard, where I could watch them as they writhe in sweet agony. I’d listen and watch them weeping and writhing."
"Actually, crucifixion was indeed a punishment," I said. Doro’s words had upset me. "It was used to discipline slaves. Nailing, on the other hand, was intended as a deterrent death penalty for criminals and rebels."
"Why nailed?" asked Doro, "Okay, it hurts so much that a crucified man screams like a monkey from the start, as a scare it would work really well. If I saw a man dying in that horrific way, any temptation to rebel would soon pass away. But bound with ropes, it would last much longer, victims would take much longer to die. "
"The nails had another purpose," I said.,"They nailed the condemned ones to the cross so that they couldn’t be stolen at night."
"Stolen?" exclaimed Doro open-mouthed.
"Yes of course,", I said, "to sell as slaves, it was a lucrative business. One who’s only bound to the cross with ropes could easily be cut down, they’d have to mount a guard-squad around the clock so they wouldn’t be stolen. But a person who's skewered with nails on the cross, you can’t get off so easily, and, more importantly, they’d no longer be any use as slaves, they’d be so badly injured that you’d have a costly business maintaining them if they survived at all. They’d probably be crippled – they had the nails driven through their wrists, important nerves were destroyed. Someone who’d been snatched from a cross would no longer be able to use their hands properly, they'd be no good as a slave."
Dorothea came to me and stroked my feet, "You know everything about it, Lis! I bet you've gathered all the information you could find on the internet."
I thought of my ‘special’ folder and nodded... "Yes, I've collected everything I could find. Really, bound crucifixion was only used as a disciplinary measure. If a disobedient slave was tied up on the cross in the yard of a villa, no other slave would dare to liberate him."
"You always speak only of men." Doro sounded disappointed.
"No," I shook my head. "I mean both sexes, it was also done to female slaves. Of course they were naked. It was worse for them, because of the shame."
"Fine," said Doro, stroking my bare feet.
"You mustn’t imagine that’s what’s happening to me here with you, though." I continued, "Don’t believe that when slaves were exposed like that it was pleasant for them - on the contrary, it was supposed to be a deterrent punishment. They didn’t take much care with a disobedient slavegirl." I used ‘slavegirl’ intentionally, it seemed important for her that female slaves were crucified. "Pictures show their limbs bound on the crossbar, their arms stretched as much as possible, and the ropes tied so tightly they couldn’t move. And their feet were bound differently. Then the poor thing hung all day long on the cross crying, and the other slaves looked on while she had to endure the endless torment.”
“There were other cross-shapes, too. The so-called tau-cross was common. On that one the arms of the slavegirl were laid along the on top, then pulled back a bit and down. They could tie just her wrists, or bind her arms in several places - either way of course she’d be cruelly fixed! Her feet hung right and left of the upright, but don’t suppose the girl’s ankles were tied with thick turns of rope, so they weren’t pressed directly against the wood – oh no, they forced her ankles against the wood on both sides of the post, then tied the rope around them; only after that did they bind it several times between pole and her shins, so as to prevent the poor girl from pulling her feet out of the bondage. Imagine how that hurt after a while!”
“They also had special square bar. The upright stake was square, and at the top it was grooved - it had a kind of depression that looked from the side like an upside-down triangle. They set the cross bar in that, so the edges of the four-sided beam faced up, to the front and behind. If your arms were tied very tightly to such an edged beam, you’d have suffered tremendous pain. A slavegirl bondaged like that went through hell, her arms and wrists ached unbearably, and her ankles too, they were pressed terribly hard against the wood of the upright. She’d have screamed all day long with pain. By evening she’d be determined to be super-good and as totally obedient!"
"Yes," said Dorothy, "obedient!" She looked up at me. "Well, I’m glad you’ve explained all that, Lis, it was really nice." Her eyes were glowing. She went to her drawing table and went on putting finishing touches to her flower-meadow.
