I might have to... I haven't got a copy of Crux Chronicles in weeks...I can only think of one suspect....
(That may be more than he deserves, folks, but what the hell, he's the life and soul of the party!)
Glad you've found it now, Barb!
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The Selfie
- Thread starter Wragg
- Start date
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- original story
The coffee grinder in the Chronicle offices is not as well disciplined as Eul and she has been on strike.
I'll pack her up and send her to you....
Maybe you can do something with her.
Meanwhile I'll
I look forward to helping readjust her...
Tree
I'm not sure how to say this. My first comment was that you're going from strength to strength with the story, but that somehow bypasses the total awfulness of the situation, which nevertheless is why this story is so compelling. Smashing, Mr. Wragg! Perfect.
“Ella! Ella!” A woman’s voice, calling my name. Where am I? Pain…pain…the worst pain I’ve ever known…and my arms won’t move…Oh, God, what is happening to me?
“Ella!”
I open my eyes, try to focus. A woman standing below me, looking up at me, holding a phone. A hooded figure standing one side of her, a policeman and a fat, evil man on the other. But she isn’t calling me, the sound is coming from my left.
Christ, it even hurts to turn my head! Two more crosses, two more suffering, naked women. On the furthest cross is Yupar. On the nearest cross is Tash. Tash is calling out my name.
“Tash? What’s happening to me?”
“Oh, Ella, thank God……I thought you’d died…..already. Ella, we’ve been ….. crucified!”
Has my intellect had packed up its bags and left home? Oh, now I’m beginning to remember….the selfie, the earthquake, the mob, the caning, the endless parade through the streets, Yupar and then Tash crucified. I hadn’t wanted to leave Tash, I’d wanted to share her suffering, and now I am. Only it’s a million times worse than I’d imagined.
All these people! Look at them! Why do they laugh at my torture? And who is this woman, with the long black hair and the mobile phone? Wait! I know her!
“Barb? Barbaria?”
“Ella, I’m sorry…..I came as quick as I could!”
“Wha….what…AIEEE!!!” Cramp in my calves! What do I do? My feet, nailed into this unnatural position! “AAAARGH! OH CHRIST, HELP ME!!” Can I put weight on my feet? “NOOO!!! AAAARGH!!!” That just makes it worse! “MY CALVES!!! CRAMP!!! PLEASE! SOMEBODY!!! IT HURTS!!! HELP ME!!”
Raising my backside away from the cross helps, but it pulls on my wrists and makes them hurt like hell, and it gives PP, Raggi, and the monk a view that they don’t deserve. Then - Barb’s hands, massaging the knots out of my calves, oh, thank God, a little relief in this world of torture.
Eventually, it settles down. I look at Barb. “Thank you! I…..sent you…..a message…..before…..they crucified…..me. How long……?”
Barb looks up at me, with tears in her eyes. She continues to massage my legs, but turns to the monk. “I saw you in the background of the selfie! I couldn’t get here quick enough to stop you! I hate you! Why don’t you just leave me and my friends alone?”
Tash’s voice: “Barb…..who is he …..?”
“I got your earlier message from the mountain top. Your selfie. I was giving a lecture when it came in, but as soon as I had finished I looked at it and then I saw…..him. I knew at that instant you were in trouble. I sent you a message to get the hell out of there, but it was too late. So I got the next flight. But I’m still too late.
“I know him well. Too well. I have been in his power since I was taken to the Gestapo building in Prinz Albrects Strasse in 1942. Here they call him ‘Kibonreju’. We just call him ‘Death’. It’s like Tash said, once he’d seen your bodies on the mountain top he literally moved the pillars of the Earth to get you. And after a few more long hours of appalling pain,” she pulls his hood back, “he will have you. There is nothing that I or anyone else can do to stop him.”
I look down from my cross into those dreadful empty eye sockets, and begin to scream uncontrollably as I feel the last vestiges of hope drain from my soul.
“Ella!”
I open my eyes, try to focus. A woman standing below me, looking up at me, holding a phone. A hooded figure standing one side of her, a policeman and a fat, evil man on the other. But she isn’t calling me, the sound is coming from my left.
Christ, it even hurts to turn my head! Two more crosses, two more suffering, naked women. On the furthest cross is Yupar. On the nearest cross is Tash. Tash is calling out my name.
“Tash? What’s happening to me?”
“Oh, Ella, thank God……I thought you’d died…..already. Ella, we’ve been ….. crucified!”
Has my intellect had packed up its bags and left home? Oh, now I’m beginning to remember….the selfie, the earthquake, the mob, the caning, the endless parade through the streets, Yupar and then Tash crucified. I hadn’t wanted to leave Tash, I’d wanted to share her suffering, and now I am. Only it’s a million times worse than I’d imagined.
All these people! Look at them! Why do they laugh at my torture? And who is this woman, with the long black hair and the mobile phone? Wait! I know her!
“Barb? Barbaria?”
“Ella, I’m sorry…..I came as quick as I could!”
“Wha….what…AIEEE!!!” Cramp in my calves! What do I do? My feet, nailed into this unnatural position! “AAAARGH! OH CHRIST, HELP ME!!” Can I put weight on my feet? “NOOO!!! AAAARGH!!!” That just makes it worse! “MY CALVES!!! CRAMP!!! PLEASE! SOMEBODY!!! IT HURTS!!! HELP ME!!”
Raising my backside away from the cross helps, but it pulls on my wrists and makes them hurt like hell, and it gives PP, Raggi, and the monk a view that they don’t deserve. Then - Barb’s hands, massaging the knots out of my calves, oh, thank God, a little relief in this world of torture.
Eventually, it settles down. I look at Barb. “Thank you! I…..sent you…..a message…..before…..they crucified…..me. How long……?”
Barb looks up at me, with tears in her eyes. She continues to massage my legs, but turns to the monk. “I saw you in the background of the selfie! I couldn’t get here quick enough to stop you! I hate you! Why don’t you just leave me and my friends alone?”
Tash’s voice: “Barb…..who is he …..?”
“I got your earlier message from the mountain top. Your selfie. I was giving a lecture when it came in, but as soon as I had finished I looked at it and then I saw…..him. I knew at that instant you were in trouble. I sent you a message to get the hell out of there, but it was too late. So I got the next flight. But I’m still too late.
“I know him well. Too well. I have been in his power since I was taken to the Gestapo building in Prinz Albrects Strasse in 1942. Here they call him ‘Kibonreju’. We just call him ‘Death’. It’s like Tash said, once he’d seen your bodies on the mountain top he literally moved the pillars of the Earth to get you. And after a few more long hours of appalling pain,” she pulls his hood back, “he will have you. There is nothing that I or anyone else can do to stop him.”
I look down from my cross into those dreadful empty eye sockets, and begin to scream uncontrollably as I feel the last vestiges of hope drain from my soul.
So it should, dear Sir.Interesting metaphysical twist. Empty eye sockets. This story intrigues me strangely.
Inspired by one 'Jollyrei'
http://www.cruxforums.com/xf/threads/death-and-the-maiden.4567/
Well, one does have an avatar to live (or not) up to.So it should, dear Sir.
Inspired by one 'Jollyrei'
http://www.cruxforums.com/xf/threads/death-and-the-maiden.4567/
Glad to be of service.
Wish that was true!“I know him well. Too well. I have been in his power since I was taken to the Gestapo building in Prinz Albrects Strasse in 1942."
Always the Chronicler, our Wragg....infallible memory
“Coffee, Tash?” Barb smiled at Tash, who was sitting gazing at her wrists in stunned disbelief.
“W-where am I?”
“Melissa? Could she have a strong Expresso with a drop of Bushmills, please?” Barb clicked into decision-making mode.
“Coffees are on me!” declared Jollyrei. “I’m celebrating finishing ‘Appeasement’!”
“That’s kind of you, Jolly! I’ll have a Cappuccino, then, please!”
A bell tinkled as the door opened, and Yupar and Ella came in. Yupar was all smiles, but Ella looked just as stunned as Tash.
“Better make that two Expressos, Mel!” giggled Barb.
“Right-ho, Barb. Do you want your usual, Yupar?”
“Ooh, yes please, Mel, you are an angel!” Yupar purred with delight. “That was a good one, Barb! First time I’ve been crucified with a garland of flowers around my neck! That was a nice touch from Raggi, I mean, Wragg!”
“I’m glad you’re happy, Yupar!” growled Barb, “I am seriously pissed at Wragg for crucifying you three and leaving me with a walk-on part at the end! I should have been hanging there with you! For God’s sake, he had enough crosses in that square for me and Siss and Messa too! Is he losing his grip?”
The man in the cowboy hat and dark glasses stirred. “Give the bastard a break, he’s still learning. He did do seven crucifixions at once in the Silver River, but I think it wore him out. Still got a way to go before he can do a hundred at a time like me, though. Only then will he get his Master Crucifixion Technician badge.”
He noticed the newcomers. “Welcome to the Coffee Shop, Ella and Tash!” His lips twitched, in a gesture that The Hanging Tree fondly imagined was a smile.
“Would someone mind explaining what the fuck is going on?” demanded Tash. “Five minutes ago I was dying on a cross, and now I’m here in a coffee shop!”
“Not ‘a’ coffee shop, Tash, but ‘The’ Coffee Shop! It’s a kind of a waiting room where we can drink coffee and chat as we await our next adventure on CruxForums!”
“B-b-but I didn’t want an adventure on CruxForums!” stammered Ella, “I wanted a holiday in Taranasia!”
“Me too!” Tash scowled.
“Well, we all got here by accident,” observed Barb, “but once we’re here, we just make the best of it! It’s a good crowd here, quite a few are out on jobs but the chap with the bat-wing collar over there is Jeeves, that’s Wragg’s Valet, and the fellow he’s chatting to is Phlebas. Don’t disturb them, they are discussing Cricket, there’s a test match on. Pp and Wragg will be here shortly to join them and you won’t hear a peep out of any of them for a bit.
“Melissa, behind the bar, keeps us all in order, as does Eulalia, who’s out back grinding coffee beans, and Tree you know. There are lots more of us. The Masters come and go as they please, as for slaves like us, Tree and Admi let us out if we’re good, or else we get carted off to a cross, whipping post, rack, or gallows as may be.”
Ella sat down at the table with her coffee. She was frowning. “One thing I don’t understand. You said I knew Tree. Well, I don’t. I’ve never met him before in my life!”
“Oh yes, you have,” said Barb, “Take the shades off, Tree!”
Ella looked across the table into those dreadful empty eye sockets, and began to scream uncontrollably as she felt the last vestiges of hope drain from her soul.
“Oh, for God’s sake, Tree, take them off, you’re scaring the poor girl!” Barb was exasperated.
Tree peeled the made-up eye sockets off, and blinked a bit in the light of the coffee shop.
The whole place rang to the sound of shattering china as Tree crashed to the floor. Ella nursed her hand after the delivery of that haymaker.
It was unfortunate that Wragg chose to enter the coffee shop at that moment. He doesn’t recall to this day how he came to be laying behind the bar in a pool of blood and cold milk. He can only dimly remember Tash and Ella giving each other the high fives, and sincerely hopes that his jaw will be better soon….
THE END
“W-where am I?”
“Melissa? Could she have a strong Expresso with a drop of Bushmills, please?” Barb clicked into decision-making mode.
“Coffees are on me!” declared Jollyrei. “I’m celebrating finishing ‘Appeasement’!”
“That’s kind of you, Jolly! I’ll have a Cappuccino, then, please!”
A bell tinkled as the door opened, and Yupar and Ella came in. Yupar was all smiles, but Ella looked just as stunned as Tash.
“Better make that two Expressos, Mel!” giggled Barb.
“Right-ho, Barb. Do you want your usual, Yupar?”
“Ooh, yes please, Mel, you are an angel!” Yupar purred with delight. “That was a good one, Barb! First time I’ve been crucified with a garland of flowers around my neck! That was a nice touch from Raggi, I mean, Wragg!”
“I’m glad you’re happy, Yupar!” growled Barb, “I am seriously pissed at Wragg for crucifying you three and leaving me with a walk-on part at the end! I should have been hanging there with you! For God’s sake, he had enough crosses in that square for me and Siss and Messa too! Is he losing his grip?”
The man in the cowboy hat and dark glasses stirred. “Give the bastard a break, he’s still learning. He did do seven crucifixions at once in the Silver River, but I think it wore him out. Still got a way to go before he can do a hundred at a time like me, though. Only then will he get his Master Crucifixion Technician badge.”
He noticed the newcomers. “Welcome to the Coffee Shop, Ella and Tash!” His lips twitched, in a gesture that The Hanging Tree fondly imagined was a smile.
“Would someone mind explaining what the fuck is going on?” demanded Tash. “Five minutes ago I was dying on a cross, and now I’m here in a coffee shop!”
“Not ‘a’ coffee shop, Tash, but ‘The’ Coffee Shop! It’s a kind of a waiting room where we can drink coffee and chat as we await our next adventure on CruxForums!”
“B-b-but I didn’t want an adventure on CruxForums!” stammered Ella, “I wanted a holiday in Taranasia!”
“Me too!” Tash scowled.
“Well, we all got here by accident,” observed Barb, “but once we’re here, we just make the best of it! It’s a good crowd here, quite a few are out on jobs but the chap with the bat-wing collar over there is Jeeves, that’s Wragg’s Valet, and the fellow he’s chatting to is Phlebas. Don’t disturb them, they are discussing Cricket, there’s a test match on. Pp and Wragg will be here shortly to join them and you won’t hear a peep out of any of them for a bit.
“Melissa, behind the bar, keeps us all in order, as does Eulalia, who’s out back grinding coffee beans, and Tree you know. There are lots more of us. The Masters come and go as they please, as for slaves like us, Tree and Admi let us out if we’re good, or else we get carted off to a cross, whipping post, rack, or gallows as may be.”
Ella sat down at the table with her coffee. She was frowning. “One thing I don’t understand. You said I knew Tree. Well, I don’t. I’ve never met him before in my life!”
“Oh yes, you have,” said Barb, “Take the shades off, Tree!”
Ella looked across the table into those dreadful empty eye sockets, and began to scream uncontrollably as she felt the last vestiges of hope drain from her soul.
“Oh, for God’s sake, Tree, take them off, you’re scaring the poor girl!” Barb was exasperated.
Tree peeled the made-up eye sockets off, and blinked a bit in the light of the coffee shop.
The whole place rang to the sound of shattering china as Tree crashed to the floor. Ella nursed her hand after the delivery of that haymaker.
It was unfortunate that Wragg chose to enter the coffee shop at that moment. He doesn’t recall to this day how he came to be laying behind the bar in a pool of blood and cold milk. He can only dimly remember Tash and Ella giving each other the high fives, and sincerely hopes that his jaw will be better soon….
THE END
Superb, thank you Madiosi!
One pdf, in case anyone wants it in one sitting. The story is in the correct order this time!
Tree gets tired of being portrayed (accurately -Ed. note) as a crucifixion monster...
T
T
Have an espresso, on me, old boy (and an ice pack perhaps?). One of these slave girls will serve up in a minute, as soon as they're done punching Wragg in the head. (NOT good form, girls! A proper roundhouse has a wider swing, and you have to follow through.)
Celticvirgin
Tribune
FAB!!!!!! Xxxx
Celticvirgin
Tribune
Was? I'm enjoying this Black Bush with Connie.