twonines
LIMERICUS
One way or another, he`ll have you swinging and I bet he `ll not need to go to France to have you stripped for it.Fake news
One way or another, he`ll have you swinging and I bet he `ll not need to go to France to have you stripped for it.Fake news
Cruxton, Cruxtonia has been hanging witches and female criminals for a few decades. They started out a bit crudely with a stark gallows that was outside the edge of town but they had a style about them.
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Three wenches could be hanged at one time but the show was over far too quickly. I ask to interview the executioner but a man known only as Prosecutor Jollyrei accepts my invitation.
“I hear you have come from the new world in the east. What has brought you here” he asks.
“I was born in what you call the ‘new world’ so it isn’t so special to me. I came here to pick up a load of Oriental herbs called Madame Wu. I heard about your town’s operation and since I do hangings in the colonies I thought I would see how you did yours” I reply. “I have read about your hangings in the Crux Chronicles.”
Jollyrei says “The Chronicles are far too generous.”
He slides me a bottle of something that smells like my booze and says “Pour yourself a drink. Do you have a name?”
“I go by ‘Tree’. T. H. Tree” I reply.
He laughs and says “I have heard of you! You are the hangman for hire!”
“I get paid but it isn’t the kind of work you can place ads for” I reply.
“Bullshit, Tree” Jollyrei replies with a laugh. “Here in Cruxtonia we are paid to hang wenches from countries that find the practice beneath their ‘standards’ yet still want the bitches dead. You must put your morals aside and grab the opportunity! When I first became the prosecutor here we built a gallows outside town near… what was it, Eastwood or something like that… And strung the women up one at a time.”
He lit up what I believe is a Madame Wu and says “We had nooses you could hang a horse with.”
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“We figured out the nooses were too damn big and it would take an hour to choke the bitches to death. People got bored watching the wenches thrash from the nooses that long” Jollyrei explains. “They want satisfaction faster than that! We shrunk the diameter of the noose’s rope and most criminals die between a third to a half hour and still put on a good show for the crowd while they strangle.”
“I would like to see that” I note.
“You are in great fortune as tomorrow we have six wenches that are to be hanged on the old gallows” Jollyrei announces with smiling pride.
The next day arrives and it is a beautiful day for hanging the convicts. Though there are six women to be hanged there are only three nooses. There is a science behind this. The first woman is hanged at noon. She thrashes about for more than a quarter hour before the noose strangles her to death. The other five women get a gruesome preview of what awaits them.
The second woman is hanged at half past noon. She puts on a longer fight but succumbs to the noose almost a half hour later. At one o’clock the third woman is hoisted up. She begins her panicked fight the moment her feet leave the deck.
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While she performs her dance of death the first woman is lowered to the deck and the noose is removed from her neck. With her wrists still bound behind her back her body is dumped into the wagon that will take her to the swine farm where she and the others will be used as pig food. At least some good comes from her life.
The fourth woman is brought to the empty noose. Her ample breasts heave as she breathes in scared deep breaths. When the noose is fixed around her neck there is no escape. At one thirty she will be hanged.
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The fifth woman is hanged at two o’clock and the sixth is hoisted up at 2:30. Even though she had seen five women hanged before she was raised the shock of hanging by her neck shows on her face. She puts up a fine dance before the noose takes her life.
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I am impressed by the efficient production of the women’s executions.
Because you are curios and poking your nose in everything, even a noose?The one on the left looks a lot like me. How’d I get there?
Do you really need to ask?The one on the left looks a lot like me. How’d I get there?
It is not you but I do have moore chapters to write... Beware of what lurks!!!The one on the left looks a lot like me. How’d I get there?
As if he needs to be known by more than that.I ask to interview the executioner but a man known only as Prosecutor Jollyrei accepts my invitation.
But we won't make that mistake again. What a disaster!He lit up what I believe is a Madame Wu and says “We had nooses you could hang a horse with.”
One does like a good review.I am impressed by the efficient production of the women’s executions.
Sort of like how Tree always ends up in Cruxtonia when things are happening. Fate probably.The one on the left looks a lot like me. How’d I get there?
I practically blow my drink through my nose and say “Do you really think any woman is smart enough to be a professor?”
It turns out that Barbara Moore is not a professor for the yet to founded University of the Virgin Martyrs nor does she work for King George of England. Instead she is a young woman working undercover as reporter for the Crux Chronicle trying to expose the lucrative trade of executing women by hanging them naked in public before a paying crowd.
The first silly question of the year?The one on the left looks a lot like me. How’d I get there?
Well, that's hardly news now, is it.It turns out that Barbara Moore is not a professor for the yet to founded University of the Virgin Martyrs nor does she work for King George of England. Instead she is a young woman working undercover as reporter for the Crux Chronicle trying to expose the lucrative trade of executing women by hanging them naked in public before a paying crowd.
We do a good line in lewd remarks here. Goes with all the naked hangings.She suffers many lewd remarks as she is paraded to jail.
Very dramatic, I thought. Now would be a good time for Barb's soliloquy. You know, while she's still breathing.“You are spy against Cruxtonia and will be hanged by your neck until you are dead. Enjoy your breathing while you still can.”
Jollyrei strolls off leaving Barbara alone in her cell.
Knowing how gentle Madiosi is, I am sure he only did it for the business. Newspaper business is hart and sometimes you to have make sacrifices. I am also sure that after this incident it was a lot less noisy in the editorial office.The provision was the Crux Chronicle would have exclusive press coverage of her hanging.
Because I'm organized like that. Why I have to explain these things, though, is a bit beyond me. I feel like a Bond villain. "No, Ms Barb, I expect you to hang, in just over half an hour."Prosecutor Jollyrei explains to the crowd below us that starting at noon one of us will be hanged and every half hour another will be hoisted to her death.
Yup. This would be a fantastic time for you to use the secret gallows destroying laser disguised as a simple nail file, except that we stripped you naked and threw it away. You wouldn't have a trusty sidekick waiting to save you? Only you seem so excited to learn the plan.So that is plan! I will watch the four other women hanged before I am.
Good suspense, isn't it?In less than ten minutes I will find out how horrible it is!
I hope so... More to come...Good suspense, isn't it?
At one thirty the woman to my right is hanged. She puts up one hell of fight. The hangman says to me “You are in the old styled noose. Do not expect to die as swift as the others have.”