Primus pilus
Magister Australis
Not easy to spell or pronounce though Barb seems to think they managed to get their tongues around it OK
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Wraggles To The Rescue!
- Thread starter Wragg
- Start date
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- original story
LittleSiss
Sorceress
Not easy to spell or pronounce though Barb seems to think they managed to get their tongues around it OK
View attachment 438265
Wouldn't you like to know!
We do have twice as many nerve endings there than you do!
And disappointment is still a problem.
Just saying!
Wouldn't you like to know!
We do have twice as many nerve endings there than you do!
And disappointment is still a problem.
Just saying!
More than twice, Sis. I don't have any nerve endings "there", I don't have that kind of "there" at all!
RacingRodent
Consul
You know anatomically speaking a penis is just an inside out vagina?
“I’m afraid to have to tell you, Herr Schiller,” said Barb conversationally, as they stretched her out on the cross, “that your loving brother wants us all dead, you included.”
'Will I ever understand a word that this woman says?' wondered Wraggles.
“ACHTUNG!!! FLUGZEUG!!!”
The anti-aircraft guns opened fire as two Mosquito fighter-bombers roared overhead, machine guns clattering.
British, German, and resistance alike scattered for cover, leaving poor Messaline alone as bombs fell terrifyingly close to her cross. She screamed as it was rocked by the concussion. Wraggles grabbed Barb and they both landed in a ditch part filled with cold and very muddy water.
“God in Heaven, Barb, you’re a smooth operator!” gasped Wraggles. “You knew this was coming!”
One of the AA emplacements had taken a direct hit from a bomb, the other was silenced by a stream of cannon fire from a Mosquito. As it turned, its markings were clearly visible.
“By Christ!” called Algy, from further along the same ditch, “That’s Ted Parry’s plane!”
“And that’s old Bob Inder!” yelled Ginger, excitedly, as the second Mosquito flew over. “Damn good shooting, fellows!” As if they could hear him.
A new sound, the squeaking, clattering sound of tanks, firing red, white, and blue Very lights to ward of the British planes.
The flares lit up the whole scene in an eerie light. Messaline was unharmed apart from being very, very angry indeed. Three Sherman tanks, clearly the property of the US Army, drove into the clearing.
A few of the surviving Germans opened fire, but return fire from the Americans rapidly silenced that.
“Get your SS uniforms off!” ordered Wraggles, struggling out of his, “we don’t want any mistakes at this stage!”
“Not a problem for me, old bean,” responded Jollyrei, still starkers, but trying to cover his modesty with his hands.
“This is Captain Tree of the 101st Airborne!” A Missouri accent rolled over the clearing. “Come out with your hands held high!”
Of the Germans, only Schiller, a Corporal, and two Privates remained alive. Unbelievably, Wraggles counted all seven of his party to be unharmed. Battered, bruised, incredibly muddy, but alive.
Barb walked towards Tree, completely unconscious of her nudity. “Captain Tree, I do declare, you are the finest of men!” She wrapped herself around him, and kissed him passionately.
“Always a pleasure, Barb! I see you’re following your usual dress code.”
“Shut up or I’ll spank your bottom!” she chided, collecting her clothes. “What about Colonel Raymond?”
“Do you have the time?” asked Tree.
Wraggles discovered, to his surprise, that his watch had also survived the last few minutes. He consulted it yet again. “4:41am” he declared. The last six minutes had seemed like a lifetime.
“He was arrested eleven minutes ago, in that case. And I see you have Schiller.” RR and Repertor had hold of Schiller, RR was holding him with his arm twisted up behind his back.
“Get that poor woman off that cross! I’ve admired her thoroughly, time to let her go!”
A group of infantrymen jumped to it, and at long, long last poor Messaline was rescued from her cross. Tree radioed for medics to take care of her.
'Will I ever understand a word that this woman says?' wondered Wraggles.
“ACHTUNG!!! FLUGZEUG!!!”
The anti-aircraft guns opened fire as two Mosquito fighter-bombers roared overhead, machine guns clattering.
British, German, and resistance alike scattered for cover, leaving poor Messaline alone as bombs fell terrifyingly close to her cross. She screamed as it was rocked by the concussion. Wraggles grabbed Barb and they both landed in a ditch part filled with cold and very muddy water.
“God in Heaven, Barb, you’re a smooth operator!” gasped Wraggles. “You knew this was coming!”
One of the AA emplacements had taken a direct hit from a bomb, the other was silenced by a stream of cannon fire from a Mosquito. As it turned, its markings were clearly visible.
“By Christ!” called Algy, from further along the same ditch, “That’s Ted Parry’s plane!”
“And that’s old Bob Inder!” yelled Ginger, excitedly, as the second Mosquito flew over. “Damn good shooting, fellows!” As if they could hear him.
A new sound, the squeaking, clattering sound of tanks, firing red, white, and blue Very lights to ward of the British planes.
The flares lit up the whole scene in an eerie light. Messaline was unharmed apart from being very, very angry indeed. Three Sherman tanks, clearly the property of the US Army, drove into the clearing.
A few of the surviving Germans opened fire, but return fire from the Americans rapidly silenced that.
“Get your SS uniforms off!” ordered Wraggles, struggling out of his, “we don’t want any mistakes at this stage!”
“Not a problem for me, old bean,” responded Jollyrei, still starkers, but trying to cover his modesty with his hands.
“This is Captain Tree of the 101st Airborne!” A Missouri accent rolled over the clearing. “Come out with your hands held high!”
Of the Germans, only Schiller, a Corporal, and two Privates remained alive. Unbelievably, Wraggles counted all seven of his party to be unharmed. Battered, bruised, incredibly muddy, but alive.
Barb walked towards Tree, completely unconscious of her nudity. “Captain Tree, I do declare, you are the finest of men!” She wrapped herself around him, and kissed him passionately.
“Always a pleasure, Barb! I see you’re following your usual dress code.”
“Shut up or I’ll spank your bottom!” she chided, collecting her clothes. “What about Colonel Raymond?”
“Do you have the time?” asked Tree.
Wraggles discovered, to his surprise, that his watch had also survived the last few minutes. He consulted it yet again. “4:41am” he declared. The last six minutes had seemed like a lifetime.
“He was arrested eleven minutes ago, in that case. And I see you have Schiller.” RR and Repertor had hold of Schiller, RR was holding him with his arm twisted up behind his back.
“Get that poor woman off that cross! I’ve admired her thoroughly, time to let her go!”
A group of infantrymen jumped to it, and at long, long last poor Messaline was rescued from her cross. Tree radioed for medics to take care of her.
“Come on then, Barb, tell us what this is all about.” Wraggles was deeply curious. “So Colonel Raymond was the traitor?”
“Both he and Schiller are traitors,” replied Barb, buttoning up her rather mud-stained blouse. “Schiller’s secret is that his mother was a Jewess, who abandoned him and his father before the first world war, and married Colonel Raymond’s father in England. But Schiller’s father was killed in the trenches, after the war Schiller joined his mother and brother in England, which is why he speaks both perfect German and perfect English.
“The two lads became almost inseparable as boys and young men, but then Schiller went back to Germany and joined the SS, and Raymond joined the RAF. Once war was declared they swapped secrets with one another completely independently of any secret service, so that each had an edge over their peers, which did no harm to either career. And whichever side lost the war, the brothers had pledged to vouch for each other, to guarantee their post-war future.
“The comfort of that post-war life was guaranteed by their mother’s legacy. She was such a sweetie, Wraggles, you’d have loved her. Messa and I boarded with her at the beginning of the war, and we grew to love her as our own mother. She was immensely rich, but she also saw through her sons, and realised how evil they were. And her wealth couldn’t save her from cancer. So, as she died in our arms last year, she left all her wealth to us, and not a penny-piece to them. It’s in a safe in Zurich, and only Messaline and I know the number. And they knew that we knew, because their mother had written to them. Nothing, but nothing, Herr Schiller, would have dragged that number out of either of us!”
Schiller glared malevolently at her as she continued.
“So Messa and I have spent the past year collecting enough evidence of the brothers’ nefarious activities to see them both hanged. I’ve been collecting the dirt on Colonel Raymond, Messaline on Lieutenant Schiller. Messaline, as you see, has paid dearly for her efforts. I had to come and at least be with her, if not save her. I’m just sorry that I wasn’t quite able to be crucified with her. Anyway, if we hadn’t returned from this mission, dossiers would have been passed across in London and Berlin at 5pm this evening, and the wheels of justice would have done the rest.
“But then, you see, Colonel Raymond had come to the conclusion that the safest way forward was for him to dispose of all three of us and then find a way to get at the money later if he could. He was prepared to sacrifice the money to see us all dead. Including Schiller; now that the war is almost over he regards his dear brother as a liability. Very luckily for me, I am on extremely good terms with Ted Parry, and he rang me to let me know that he was due to attack this clearing at exactly 4:35 this morning, and that he had had specific orders from Colonel Raymond to aim specifically for any women that he saw, especially any that may be on crosses. I asked him if he wouldn’t mind specifically missing any women that he saw, and then I got a message to my dear friend Tree here to let him know that, if it were humanly possible, it would be handy if he could arrive in the clearing immediately after the air raid. Also it would be good if he could arrange to have Colonel Raymond arrested as soon as possible. Bless him, he’s done both those things!” She planted a big wet kiss on Tree’s cheek. He looked as though the whole war had been worthwhile, after all.
Messaline had, by now, been released from her cross, and a couple of Americans were carrying her past on a stretcher. Barb turned, and threw her arms around her. “Oh, Messa, how you’ve suffered! I’m so sorry you had to go through that! You poor girl!”
“Don’t worry, Barb!” replied Messa, in her sweetly musical French accent, “It was worth all the pain, for you, and for Eulalia Raymond!”
“For Eulalia Raymond!” echoed Barb, and kissed her on the forehead.
THE END.
“Both he and Schiller are traitors,” replied Barb, buttoning up her rather mud-stained blouse. “Schiller’s secret is that his mother was a Jewess, who abandoned him and his father before the first world war, and married Colonel Raymond’s father in England. But Schiller’s father was killed in the trenches, after the war Schiller joined his mother and brother in England, which is why he speaks both perfect German and perfect English.
“The two lads became almost inseparable as boys and young men, but then Schiller went back to Germany and joined the SS, and Raymond joined the RAF. Once war was declared they swapped secrets with one another completely independently of any secret service, so that each had an edge over their peers, which did no harm to either career. And whichever side lost the war, the brothers had pledged to vouch for each other, to guarantee their post-war future.
“The comfort of that post-war life was guaranteed by their mother’s legacy. She was such a sweetie, Wraggles, you’d have loved her. Messa and I boarded with her at the beginning of the war, and we grew to love her as our own mother. She was immensely rich, but she also saw through her sons, and realised how evil they were. And her wealth couldn’t save her from cancer. So, as she died in our arms last year, she left all her wealth to us, and not a penny-piece to them. It’s in a safe in Zurich, and only Messaline and I know the number. And they knew that we knew, because their mother had written to them. Nothing, but nothing, Herr Schiller, would have dragged that number out of either of us!”
Schiller glared malevolently at her as she continued.
“So Messa and I have spent the past year collecting enough evidence of the brothers’ nefarious activities to see them both hanged. I’ve been collecting the dirt on Colonel Raymond, Messaline on Lieutenant Schiller. Messaline, as you see, has paid dearly for her efforts. I had to come and at least be with her, if not save her. I’m just sorry that I wasn’t quite able to be crucified with her. Anyway, if we hadn’t returned from this mission, dossiers would have been passed across in London and Berlin at 5pm this evening, and the wheels of justice would have done the rest.
“But then, you see, Colonel Raymond had come to the conclusion that the safest way forward was for him to dispose of all three of us and then find a way to get at the money later if he could. He was prepared to sacrifice the money to see us all dead. Including Schiller; now that the war is almost over he regards his dear brother as a liability. Very luckily for me, I am on extremely good terms with Ted Parry, and he rang me to let me know that he was due to attack this clearing at exactly 4:35 this morning, and that he had had specific orders from Colonel Raymond to aim specifically for any women that he saw, especially any that may be on crosses. I asked him if he wouldn’t mind specifically missing any women that he saw, and then I got a message to my dear friend Tree here to let him know that, if it were humanly possible, it would be handy if he could arrive in the clearing immediately after the air raid. Also it would be good if he could arrange to have Colonel Raymond arrested as soon as possible. Bless him, he’s done both those things!” She planted a big wet kiss on Tree’s cheek. He looked as though the whole war had been worthwhile, after all.
Messaline had, by now, been released from her cross, and a couple of Americans were carrying her past on a stretcher. Barb turned, and threw her arms around her. “Oh, Messa, how you’ve suffered! I’m so sorry you had to go through that! You poor girl!”
“Don’t worry, Barb!” replied Messa, in her sweetly musical French accent, “It was worth all the pain, for you, and for Eulalia Raymond!”
“For Eulalia Raymond!” echoed Barb, and kissed her on the forehead.
THE END.
Not easy to spell or pronounce though Barb seems to think they managed to get their tongues around it OK
View attachment 438265
I think at that moment I was saying "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ohhhhhhhhhhhh ohhhhhhhhhhh ohhhhhhhhhhhhh"
Pronunciation was the least of my worries
Wouldn't you like to know!
We do have twice as many nerve endings there than you do!
And disappointment is still a problem.
Just saying!
Yeah, when it comes to the guys ... performance usually lags behind pronunciation
I love these colors ...
I Like them too!
Our furry little master of trivia strikes again
“Both he and Schiller are traitors,” replied Barb, buttoning up her rather mud-stained blouse. “Schiller’s secret is that his mother was a Jewess, who abandoned him and his father before the first world war, and married Colonel Raymond’s father in England. But Schiller’s father was killed in the trenches, after the war Schiller joined his mother and brother in England, which is why he speaks both perfect German and perfect English.
“The two lads became almost inseparable as boys and young men, but then Schiller went back to Germany and joined the SS, and Raymond joined the RAF. Once war was declared they swapped secrets with one another completely independently of any secret service, so that each had an edge over their peers, which did no harm to either career. And whichever side lost the war, the brothers had pledged to vouch for each other, to guarantee their post-war future.
This part almost sounds as though windar could have written it. Stop looking at my blood-stained blouse and pay attention now ... I am not going to repeat this web of intrigue even if asked.
“The two lads became almost inseparable as boys and young men, but then Schiller went back to Germany and joined the SS, and Raymond joined the RAF. Once war was declared they swapped secrets with one another completely independently of any secret service, so that each had an edge over their peers, which did no harm to either career. And whichever side lost the war, the brothers had pledged to vouch for each other, to guarantee their post-war future.
This part almost sounds as though windar could have written it. Stop looking at my blood-stained blouse and pay attention now ... I am not going to repeat this web of intrigue even if asked.
windar
Teller of Tales
Now what does THAT mean?
A truly ripping yarn - with a clever twist in the tail!
I've never read any Biggles (or Worralls) books,
but I doubt they're anything like as sexy, witty or cunning as this!
Sure as heck not as sexy
windar
Teller of Tales
We're obviously birds of a feather, Windar!
I am of course only honored to be compared to you, Wragg. I suppose this story has some things in common with "Pirettes". Family fortunes salted away in banks in Zurich vs Boston. Justice done at the end. Lots of extraneous comments on airplanes and sea creatures and hurricanes and the like.
RacingRodent
Consul
Just tell Barb it was Wragg's doing and he can be the whipping boy for your demerits.
Well, it is Wragg's thread and story after all ... sometimes, though, it's hard to tell with everyone jumping on and off the train.
Off, mainlyWell, it is Wragg's thread and story after all ... sometimes, though, it's hard to tell with everyone jumping on and off the train.
Look for the silver lining Wraggie ... at least you know that you had everyone's attention 