...but someone has to do it!
A slave am I, I work in Rome
A woodman’s shop is my poor home
I work and sleep in that damn shop
I work until I’m fit to drop.
There's just one time that I get out
When there are nasty crooks about
Then I get let out by my boss
To go and nail them to their cross!
Twas yesterday the master came
“Oi You!” (he can’t recall my name)
“Make crosses! Three! You’d best look slick!
“Before the dawn! Come on! Be quick!”
So me, and old Pp, my mate
Could see that we would be up late;
We cut some beams, for hours we slaved
We sawed, we planed, we cut, we shaved.
Six beams of wood we had at last
By then the day was long since past
But we’d prepared them with some care
And checked they fitted nice and square.
The job they had to do was tough
We’d left the surface pretty rough;
We didn’t want an easy ride
For the foul scum we crucified!
Our job complete at close of day
We lay and slept in master’s hay
His cock’rel woke us at first light
By god, that was a rough, short night!
We put the wood on master’s cart
We dropped the stipes (upright parts)
Outside the sombre city walls
And there we dug three waiting holes.
The next part of our errand, glum
To take each dread patibulum
To where the pris’ners, in chain’s grip
Awaited their last dreadful trip.
Now Pp had an extra skill
With whip in hand he was quite brill
He knew no peer, he was the boss
At thrashing them before their cross.
And so he waited, whip in hand
Awaiting that despairing band
Of those who soon would howl and moan
And feel the might of fearsome Rome.
They led them out from deep inside
My lower jaw fell open wide
Confused, my brain just spun and whirled
For all three evil men – were GIRLS!
A slave am I, I work in Rome
A woodman’s shop is my poor home
I work and sleep in that damn shop
I work until I’m fit to drop.
There's just one time that I get out
When there are nasty crooks about
Then I get let out by my boss
To go and nail them to their cross!
Twas yesterday the master came
“Oi You!” (he can’t recall my name)
“Make crosses! Three! You’d best look slick!
“Before the dawn! Come on! Be quick!”
So me, and old Pp, my mate
Could see that we would be up late;
We cut some beams, for hours we slaved
We sawed, we planed, we cut, we shaved.
Six beams of wood we had at last
By then the day was long since past
But we’d prepared them with some care
And checked they fitted nice and square.
The job they had to do was tough
We’d left the surface pretty rough;
We didn’t want an easy ride
For the foul scum we crucified!
Our job complete at close of day
We lay and slept in master’s hay
His cock’rel woke us at first light
By god, that was a rough, short night!
We put the wood on master’s cart
We dropped the stipes (upright parts)
Outside the sombre city walls
And there we dug three waiting holes.
The next part of our errand, glum
To take each dread patibulum
To where the pris’ners, in chain’s grip
Awaited their last dreadful trip.
Now Pp had an extra skill
With whip in hand he was quite brill
He knew no peer, he was the boss
At thrashing them before their cross.
And so he waited, whip in hand
Awaiting that despairing band
Of those who soon would howl and moan
And feel the might of fearsome Rome.
They led them out from deep inside
My lower jaw fell open wide
Confused, my brain just spun and whirled
For all three evil men – were GIRLS!
.
