danielle926
Executioner
The very talented MermaidHunter recently finished an avatar that is a likeness of me, on my cross and suffering. It gives me chills to look at it. It is now my current avatar but here is the full size version so you can see the wonderful work he does. My head back in desperation and prayer. The anguish on my face and the tears falling from my eyes. The cross that I wear around my neck....
It makes me think of what I would be going through on my cross. Just prior to my nailing as I am being stripped and looking at the cross. Seeing my name carved into a piece of wood that is nailed to the top of the cross. I struggle as I lose my clothing and look at the cross. The name making it not just any cross, but making it my cross. The stipe and the patibulum that the nails will soon force me to be intimate with.
Once nailed, I see myself very much as this avatar shows me. In total agony. Struggling and writhing on my cross. Groaning and moaning as I suffer so much. I can feel the cross that I wear around my neck and try desperately to draw comfort from it. I feel my tears rolling down my face. Still feeling the cross around my neck that lays on my chest just below my neck, I turn to my faith and begin to pray out loud. I pray for help. I pray for mercy. I pray for comfort. I pray for someone to show me they care and tell me that they love me. I need to hear that.
I did nothing wrong to be on this cross. I was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Abducted by a group that wanted to sacrifice a woman and watch her suffer and die. I can't process what is happening to me and why I have to suffer like this. I was coming home from work, dressed in my business suit, looking forward to the weekend. Now just a few hours after leaving work, I am naked and in agony after being nailed to a cross. Crucified. Why ? Why me ?
I have wondered, would my faith get stronger as I suffer on my cross or would it be shaken ? As I turn my eyes skyward as I pray I can also imagine saying, "god where are you ? why aren't you hearing my prayers ? why are you letting me suffer like this ? why ? dear lord why ?". Then I begin to sob some more as my dance of agony continues.
There is no one here to love me. Only the people that abducted me and nailed me to my cross. Taking pleasure in how much I am suffering. Knowing there is no one there to tell me they love me, I turn my head skyward again and pray desperately for comfort...."dear lord, please please at least show me you love me. Please bring me some kind of comfort, help me to understand why I must suffer like this. I need to know why my life is to be taken from me in such an agonizing way. Please lord, please show me comfort and mercy....".
Then I drop my head and begin to cry hard again, knowing there are hours more of pain and suffering ahead for me....
It makes me think of what I would be going through on my cross. Just prior to my nailing as I am being stripped and looking at the cross. Seeing my name carved into a piece of wood that is nailed to the top of the cross. I struggle as I lose my clothing and look at the cross. The name making it not just any cross, but making it my cross. The stipe and the patibulum that the nails will soon force me to be intimate with.
Once nailed, I see myself very much as this avatar shows me. In total agony. Struggling and writhing on my cross. Groaning and moaning as I suffer so much. I can feel the cross that I wear around my neck and try desperately to draw comfort from it. I feel my tears rolling down my face. Still feeling the cross around my neck that lays on my chest just below my neck, I turn to my faith and begin to pray out loud. I pray for help. I pray for mercy. I pray for comfort. I pray for someone to show me they care and tell me that they love me. I need to hear that.
I did nothing wrong to be on this cross. I was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Abducted by a group that wanted to sacrifice a woman and watch her suffer and die. I can't process what is happening to me and why I have to suffer like this. I was coming home from work, dressed in my business suit, looking forward to the weekend. Now just a few hours after leaving work, I am naked and in agony after being nailed to a cross. Crucified. Why ? Why me ?
I have wondered, would my faith get stronger as I suffer on my cross or would it be shaken ? As I turn my eyes skyward as I pray I can also imagine saying, "god where are you ? why aren't you hearing my prayers ? why are you letting me suffer like this ? why ? dear lord why ?". Then I begin to sob some more as my dance of agony continues.
There is no one here to love me. Only the people that abducted me and nailed me to my cross. Taking pleasure in how much I am suffering. Knowing there is no one there to tell me they love me, I turn my head skyward again and pray desperately for comfort...."dear lord, please please at least show me you love me. Please bring me some kind of comfort, help me to understand why I must suffer like this. I need to know why my life is to be taken from me in such an agonizing way. Please lord, please show me comfort and mercy....".
Then I drop my head and begin to cry hard again, knowing there are hours more of pain and suffering ahead for me....