They would not have shackled me like this if the accusations they intend to bring against me weren't of the most abominable kind.
Six nights - I think - and still they haven't put the irons on me.
It seems there are things even they can't do. Not because there's anything powerful about me but quite the opposite.
So I told them that it's nonsense. The 'Emperor' has food-testers and wine-tasters. They say I had poisoned things sent to him -- I said let his lackeys gorge themselves, even so as the gluttonous tyrant would, and watch them, take your days, and see if they fall ill. Other than from overeating. It seems they did that and it seems the tyrant's tasters enjoyed the meal and stayed well, or the tortures would have taken me. Now the tyrant is envious of what his tasters had.
Otherwise yes, it's well known, I said it publicly when there was still such a thing as public speech in our country.
'
Emperor'.
What a terrible joke.
As if our people didn't deserve a proper government and constitution like most neighboring lands.
Pretending he is some Caesar, some conqueror of destiny, bringing back all those stupid trappings of Roman grandeur, symbols, costumes, speeches, even Roman games,
...even Roman
punishments.
It's a disgrace, he's playing with our nation as if it was a sandbox, as if those were tin soldiers, but they aren't.
Oh there are always some early victories with every new campaign he starts, but they all go bad, don't they, and not one of them has finished successfully.
Will the wars only end when he runs out of other people's sons to sacrifice? As things got worse and worse I acted like any responsible woman would, pulling in my head and hoping to pull through, protecting those I could protect, thank God mine are still too young for the battlefields.
Since then, the 'Emperor' has by law been declared infallible and then as equal to god, and you know very well I have not since then said one word against him, to protect my own. The laws were not retroactive because if they executed everyone who had derided this 'Emperor' before he rose to power, there would hardly be a person of wit left.
So I am within the law, even if your suspicions of my thoughts may be right.
I confess: You can charge me with defeatism of the heart.
I do
not believe the 'Emperor' is god, or infallible, or worthy of leadership, or worthy at all.
But I have not spoken a word of it since the laws were passed.
My family has already been punished for the words I said in the past, because it was because of them that my husband was sent to be first charging up that hill. There is not one night where his widow does not regret her words.
So bring your accusations.
I think it is that our people have gone along with this much because of their pride of our military tradition. But if you execute me without demonstrably proving my treason to the public, what they 'll see is that after gorging on their young men the tyrant is now consuming their women too, out of nothing but bloodthirst, and none will think their wives and daughters to be safe anymore, and it might just be the last drop in the bucket.
Not because I'm powerful or dangerous but precisely because I'm not.
This is my final plea of defense, now do what you will.
Let me go and I will continue my life under this oppression, but when this tragedy is over it will be people like me who will come forth and bend their backs to try and build something new out of the wreckage you have left behind. Unless those you attacked come upon us in revenge and put all the lot of us to the sword.
Or send me to your 'Imperial punishment' and I'll take it the best I can, I have only one life to lose but you have an 'Empire' to gamble away, or are you already at the point where you know it is lost, and you are just making a bonfire of decadence?
So these might be my last words but that's what I have to say.
