here's what you've been waiting for guys, sorry for the delay!
Daniel turned off the road and followed a metalled drive up to a castle. I recognised the walls, it’s privately owned, and at weekends there are guided tours for visitors. During the week it’s closed or hired out, for meetings or whatever. Today it’s booked, because a girl of eighteen is to be crucified in public in front of forty-two people, said the little voice in my head. You're that girl, Lisette.
When we got out my knees were so soft that Dorothea and Daniel had to support me. We went up a flight of stairs and down a long corridor. I was hardly aware of where we were and what it looked like around me, I was getting such palpitations I was afraid I’d have a heart attack. We stopped before a door, Daniel took out a key and unlocked the it. Behind it was a small room with a table and chairs. On the left wall hung a heavy, dark curtain in front of an opening.
"There’s the way into the castle hall," whispered Doro, "you can peep through the gap between the curtains if you like." She bent down and took off her shoes and socks, then she took off her outer garments and donned a simple tunic made of natural linen fabric. At the seams it was decorated with moss green embroidery. I knew these tunics, in the Middle Ages at festivals girls often wore such simple clothes. I thought she was beautiful. No sooner had she put the striped tunic over her shoulders, my cousin grabbed under it and took off her panties. She grinned at me cheerfully and winked, with a nod in the direction of curtain.
Reluctantly, I went there. I pulled the heavy curtains apart just enough that I could peep into the space behind it with one eye. I saw a huge room with hardwood floors and a coffered ceiling with carvings. On the front wall was a fire in the fireplace. In front of that were tables and benches ready for the feast. People of all ages in medieval garb were all around the room, talking to each other and waiting patiently for my appearance. Forty-two of them.
Oh goddess, I was nervous. Forty-two pairs of eyes that were eager to look at me. All the time! Doro included, forty-three people would be watching, as I went naked to the cross and then had to endure six hours. They’d see every movement of my hand, and observe everything at first hand - my nakedness, my helplessness, my moans, my pain. They would hear when I began to plead for deliverance and when I cried out loud. If I cried, would I be able to suppress it? I didn’t think so, so far the cross had broken my will every time. It was stronger than me. It always defeated me.
Dorothea hugged me from behind and rocked me gently. "No cameras", she whispered, "no-one can make any recording, they’ve all been strictly checked. Only their eyes can see you and their ears hear you and their hearts can sympathize with you, crux-girl." She didn’t use my first name.
Daniel was standing beside us, he could hear her. The gentleman had removed his everyday clothing and clad his bulging beer-belly in a medieval minstrel’s get-up in all sorts of colours. He was smiling kindly at me under a plumed hat.
"Think of New Zealand," Doro whispered in my ear, "if you do do it, we’ll get so much money we’ll be able to fly there for three months, and still have cash to spare. They’ve splashed out for this, I can tell you!” Her right hand slipped into my blouse and caressed my breasts, which were naked under the fabric. My nipples grew instantly hard.
The money didn’t tempt me- honestly, I didn’t care, money wasn’t a consideration, at best it would be a pleasant side-effect. I told Dorothea this, she hugged me, "I know, crux-girl, I know!" She gently massaged my breasts and excited me exceedingly. "You want it!" she whispered. "You've always wanted this. You want to be crucified and suffer before the eyes of strangers. You're scared, but you want it, and how!" Yes, I thought. Yes, I want it. And yes, I'm afraid. And how!
"Take off your clothes, girl," whispered Dorothy, patting me, "Just do it. It won’t take long. Strip yourself naked and put your hands behind you. Once you're tied up, there’ll be no turning back, then it will just happen, willy-nilly. Dare it! You won’t regret it, you'll enjoy it, it’s your burning desire." I stepped back from the curtain to the bench by the window where Doro had left her clothes. I saw another door on the other side of the small room. "A bath," whispered Dorothy, "a modern bathroom. To ease the strain you’ll be able to shower and take a bath."
I wanted to undress but I couldn’t, I’d begun to tremble so much I couldn’t undo my blouse-buttons. "D-D-Doro, help me," I asked in a whisper. She smiled and came to me. She knelt in front of me and pulled the sandals off. Small and white, they stood in front of me on the wooden floor. I take size 36 I saw the prints of my bare feet on the leather insoles. She stood up and unbuttoned my blouse, button by button she opened the garment of thin fabric. I could still say no, but I couldn’t speak. My knees were soft as butter. She took off my blouse. Then she pulled off my skirt. Finally she slipped my panties down my legs and pulled him off me.
I stood naked in the room. I felt the smooth wooden floor beneath my bare soles. I was breathing heavily. Goddess I was excited! My trembling grew even more, I felt a need to break out at any moment in tears. Daniel was looking at me. Admiration shone from his eyes. And there was a good dose of lust in it. He was aroused, I recognized that! The prospect of being able to experience me right there on the cross was exciting him to the utmost.
"He may look," whispered Dorothy, standing beside me and putting an arm around her shoulders. "He will see everything, love. You won’t be able to hide. You'll be exposed, everyone will see you, they’ll look at you and you’ll experience it. But nobody can touch you. you are taboo on the cross – at most a friendly slap on your bare feet, like you pat a horse's neck. Anything more than that will not be allowed. Then you'll be raised up high above us all, crux-girl, and yet you’ll be deeply humiliated before the eyes of forty-three spectators. They will learn how the cross breaks you, very slowly, they will experience it all at first hand."
Quiet and withdrawn inside myself, I stood there. My hands were not yet tied, I could still say no. I looked at the short piece of rope that was on the table. A simple cord, maybe a metre long. It would seal the contract. Once this ropework binds me, there’ll be no turning back.
Dorothea kissed me on the cheek.
"I'm going to hang you up by your wrists and beat you. That wasn’t part of the plan, but I want it that way. You’ll be decorated with stripes when you go to the cross. I’m going to whip you very hard. They’ll hear you scream, they’ll see you cry, they’ll see how your body struggles and submits under the whip. I will give no quarter. You're going to cry, and cry out loud, crux-girl!"
My tremors intensified - whipped! My cousin wanted to flog me, in front of all these people! She was looking at me with her best cat look. Then she made a small gesture with her hand,
"Daniel"
Daniel took the rope from the table. He came to us and stood behind me. Doro took a step back. She looked deep into my eyes,
"Yes or no?"
I looked at my cousin. I felt fear and despair. I was deeply anxious and fearful. And I was tortured with the desire, everything in me was screaming to do it, never mind the fear! I was excited as never before in my life, I was almost cumming with excitement.
Dorothee repeated her question, "Yes or no?"
Wordlessly, I bent my arms back and crossed my wrists behind my bum.