Crisis at Cruxton Abbey
1.
“My love, I’m afraid I’ve a rather serious matter to discuss with you over breakfast this morning,” said Lord Wragg, somewhat hesitantly, as he busily slathered a healthy Paddington Bear sized dollop of orange marmalade onto a slice of toast.
“Oh dear!” You’re not about to tell me that that clumsy girl, Barb, has managed to break yet another of my priceless Ming Dynasty vases! If she has, it’ll be forty strokes of the cane on her tight little bottom and two days solitary with only bread and water and sans clothing in one of those dreadful cellar cages for her! This has just got to stop!”
“No, no … it’s not that. As a matter of fact, Barb hasn’t broken anything of real value now for nearly a fortnight.”
“Well then, if it’s a problem with the female staff, and the problem isn’t Barb, what could it possibly be? Indeed, since we took on that Scottish girl, @Eulalia , to head up Cruxton’s female staff, they’ve all been remarkably well behaved. Compliant, respectful, and remarkably well-trained when it comes to presenting themselves properly for punishment after they’ve done something wrong … hands behind head, kneeling with bums bared, and all that … at times they even seem to relish the cane … that is, of course, with the notable exception of Barb.”
“Yes, our Barb certainly counts as an exception. But no, my sweet, staff discipline is not the issue.”
“Well, my love, what then could it possibly be? It’s not that new girl, @Darkprincess69 , is it? I’ve noticed she has an eye for the other girls. And I dare say I’ve seen evidence of her having shared her bed with some of them. It’s usually late at night after I’ve retired and lie awake listening. Now, mind you, those small beds in the servant’s quarters upstairs can be quite noisy in a creaky sort of way if one doesn’t lie still on them … and it’s come to my attention lately that I often hear quite a lot of creaking going on up there, along with some very loud gasping and squealing. I try not to notice, of course.”
“No, no! Nothing at all to do with staff, my love. The problem I wish to raise with you this morning is strictly financial.”
“Financial? The staff isn’t demanding a raise in wages?”
“No, as I’ve said, it’s not about the staff nor their wages per se. Having nothing better to do late last night, and feeling quite restless, you see, I was sitting up on my four-poster going over the accounts, and to put it directly and succinctly, I discovered, much to my dismay, that we’re bloody broke! And with expenses coming in, along with various overdue accounts and the soon to arrive bill for this year’s Council Tax on the property, I arrived at the conclusion that something quite drastic must be done!”
“Heavens! You’re not saying that Cruxton Abbey must be put up for sale, are you darling? How horrible! I simply couldn’t bear it! What will people think!”
“Well, I certainly hope not. But our situation is perilous, and we must make due haste, I’m afraid, in finding new revenues and ways to cut expenses, or it could well come to that.”
“Perhaps, this is too large a problem to tackle all on our own. We should bring in an outside expert. You know, a consultant of some kind?”
“Now there’s an idea!”
“Do we know of anyone, who is good with money?”
“Well, when it comes to money they say the Germans are quite good with it!”
“Excellent! Well then, Wraggie, suppose we consider bringing in for consultation our good friend, the Graf von Kreuzigung. I’m certain @Loxuru would have some sensible suggestions as to how we might increase revenue, cut expenses, and save our home.”
TBC
1.
“My love, I’m afraid I’ve a rather serious matter to discuss with you over breakfast this morning,” said Lord Wragg, somewhat hesitantly, as he busily slathered a healthy Paddington Bear sized dollop of orange marmalade onto a slice of toast.
“Oh dear!” You’re not about to tell me that that clumsy girl, Barb, has managed to break yet another of my priceless Ming Dynasty vases! If she has, it’ll be forty strokes of the cane on her tight little bottom and two days solitary with only bread and water and sans clothing in one of those dreadful cellar cages for her! This has just got to stop!”
“No, no … it’s not that. As a matter of fact, Barb hasn’t broken anything of real value now for nearly a fortnight.”
“Well then, if it’s a problem with the female staff, and the problem isn’t Barb, what could it possibly be? Indeed, since we took on that Scottish girl, @Eulalia , to head up Cruxton’s female staff, they’ve all been remarkably well behaved. Compliant, respectful, and remarkably well-trained when it comes to presenting themselves properly for punishment after they’ve done something wrong … hands behind head, kneeling with bums bared, and all that … at times they even seem to relish the cane … that is, of course, with the notable exception of Barb.”
“Yes, our Barb certainly counts as an exception. But no, my sweet, staff discipline is not the issue.”
“Well, my love, what then could it possibly be? It’s not that new girl, @Darkprincess69 , is it? I’ve noticed she has an eye for the other girls. And I dare say I’ve seen evidence of her having shared her bed with some of them. It’s usually late at night after I’ve retired and lie awake listening. Now, mind you, those small beds in the servant’s quarters upstairs can be quite noisy in a creaky sort of way if one doesn’t lie still on them … and it’s come to my attention lately that I often hear quite a lot of creaking going on up there, along with some very loud gasping and squealing. I try not to notice, of course.”
“No, no! Nothing at all to do with staff, my love. The problem I wish to raise with you this morning is strictly financial.”
“Financial? The staff isn’t demanding a raise in wages?”
“No, as I’ve said, it’s not about the staff nor their wages per se. Having nothing better to do late last night, and feeling quite restless, you see, I was sitting up on my four-poster going over the accounts, and to put it directly and succinctly, I discovered, much to my dismay, that we’re bloody broke! And with expenses coming in, along with various overdue accounts and the soon to arrive bill for this year’s Council Tax on the property, I arrived at the conclusion that something quite drastic must be done!”
“Heavens! You’re not saying that Cruxton Abbey must be put up for sale, are you darling? How horrible! I simply couldn’t bear it! What will people think!”
“Well, I certainly hope not. But our situation is perilous, and we must make due haste, I’m afraid, in finding new revenues and ways to cut expenses, or it could well come to that.”
“Perhaps, this is too large a problem to tackle all on our own. We should bring in an outside expert. You know, a consultant of some kind?”
“Now there’s an idea!”
“Do we know of anyone, who is good with money?”
“Well, when it comes to money they say the Germans are quite good with it!”
“Excellent! Well then, Wraggie, suppose we consider bringing in for consultation our good friend, the Graf von Kreuzigung. I’m certain @Loxuru would have some sensible suggestions as to how we might increase revenue, cut expenses, and save our home.”
TBC
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but curious how that will turn out!
)
