A "Living History" experience. Lord Wragg is advertising "naked girls on the rack," so the submissives on CF can compete for available dungeon space. It won't be a cosplay experience because there will NOT be any costumes.
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Crisis at Cruxton Abbey
- Thread starter Barbaria1
- Start date
bindhertocross
Magistrate
I would be happy to buy a ticket, I could make a weekend trip over there, would there be rum available? I'm not much of a beer drinker.Moment mal, bitte! Give me time to think about a solid ("gruntliches") plan!
What could work, for instance, is optimalisation of the workload of the Cruxton Abbey female staff!
I have noticed, for instance, that, currently, the female staff serves only one beer at the time.
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Practice in Germany shows, that this rate could be strongly enhanced :
View attachment 1503365
This brings me to the idea of raising funds by organising an Oktoberfest at Cruxton Abbey. I assume, there must be some tract of waistland near the site, where we can put up a huge tent, with collapsible benches and tables. It's still July, so I think it can be done before October to fix it all, including barrels and barrels of beer! If it works, it could save Lord and Lady Wragg the embarassment of having to open their housings for public
'rum, bum and the lash', the good old British way!
bindhertocross
Magistrate
yo ho ho and a bottle of rum...hmm 2 "ho"s ...sounds like fun!'rum, bum and the lash', the good old British way!
Barb, Tight Little and Riesling, the American way? Has Barbaria brought nothing of American culture to Cruxton?'rum, bum and the lash', the good old British way!
Considering the dominating place Cruxton Abbey has, I searched for a description of the dungeon, but there really didn't seem to be any. If all the dungeon damsel wannabes here might be competing for space in the grim confines of that menacing place, there should be some graphic representation of what we would have to look forward to.
It would also help with the sense of anticipation and sexual arousal any dungeon victim finds essential!
Ghosts would be value added.
It would also help with the sense of anticipation and sexual arousal any dungeon victim finds essential!
Ghosts would be value added.
2.
“An excellent Sunday roast dinner, Lady Wragg, truly superb. The chicken was succulent, the Yorkshire pudding a delight, and the Mosel Riesling a perfect complement and a thoughtfully kind gesture to a German dinner guest like myself.”
“Thank you my dear @Loxuru . I’ll convey those kind sentiments to the Cruxton Abbey kitchen staff. Now Barbara, dear, please refill the Count’s wine glass, and do stop surreptitiously licking the mouth of the bottle when you think I’m not looking.”
“Oh please don’t reprimand the girl, Lady Wragg. Like me, she clearly knows what’s good in life. I do hope to see more of her as the evening wears on.”
“That can be arranged,” chimed in Wragg with a sly wink, to which Barb pulled a face when she thought no one was looking.
“Now down to business, my dear Wragg. It’s my understanding that you wish my advice on some difficult financial matters.”
“Yes, Lox. To put it simply, Lady Wragg and I need to raise a rather substantial sum of cash … very quickly.”
“Yes,” chimed in Lady Wragg, “we are in danger of losing Cruxton Abbey to our creditors. We are in crisis. There’s little time in which to pull off what would have to be a monetary miracle. We are hoping, given your expertise in such matters, that you might be able to show us the way.”
“Say no more. I’m happy to help, and I think the answer is simple enough. You must think very big, and endeavor to pull off something truly revolutionary and breathtakingly exciting that will capture popular attention and bring in loads of cash!”
“Yes, that’s surely what we need,” agreed Lady Wragg. “Barbara dear, do pay attention! The Count’s wine glass is in need of refilling once again.”
“Yes, your Ladyship. Do I allow him to pinch my bum again too?”
“Oh, good Lord girl! What a thing to say! You’ll report to the cellar tomorrow morning … for a quick dozen strokes!”
“Yes, your Ladyship.”
“Ummm, getting back to the matter at hand, Lox …” intervened Wragg quickly. “Just what kind of extraordinary money raising event did you have in mind?”
“Well, dear Wragg, you must think boldly and thoroughly, to plan minutely and execute with single minded determination … something we Germans have observed you English absolutely lack the capacity to do.”
“Really? What makes you think that?”
“Well, we watch your television shows, of course … ‘Fawlty Towers’, ‘Monty Python’, ‘Keeping up Appearances’, ‘Allo! Allo!’, ‘The Office’, ‘Blackadder’ to name a few … need I say more?”
“Point well taken, I guess. Barbara! Please refill the Count’s glass again.”
“Yes, m’Lord …. Owwwww!”
“So, Wragg, here’s the plan. Cruxton Abbey is your one big asset. You must do as others have done in your predicament and open it to the public. But you must also have .. what’s the word … Ach, yes … a gimmick … something that no other great house on the National Register can offer!”
“And what is that, pray tell?”
“Your staff, for starts … you have a staff that includes any number of comely young maidens … as for example, Barbara here! And then there’s the house, a house that undoubtedly must possess a dungeon-like cellar! And then the garden and grounds, plenty of space to stage a spectacle! Am I right?”
“Well I suppose …”
“Imagine, it you will, something original, truly unique … a tableau event with girls … girls … girls … each a beauty in her own right. Come one come all and see them suffer … as in times of old … the indignities and terror of the rack, the stocks, the whipping post, the gibbet and hangman’s noose, the dance of the crucified … all artfully and realistically staged for the enjoyment of a select, well-heeled and filthy rich clientele willing to ante up an exorbitant price of admission to the greatest show on earth … the American impresarios, PT Barnum and Ziegfeld couldn’t have done better!”
“Well …”
“Think, Wragg … Imagine … imagine young Barbara here … stretched naked and sweat-sheened on a rack … or stripped down to her hips and tethered to a post, writhing and prancing under the bite of the lash … or struggling while fixed to a cross, wearing nothing but a loincloth, precariously held in place and in imminently danger of slipping away … And perhaps a beer garden at which the paying guests can relax and enjoy the proffered spectacles while paying exorbitant prices for mugs of beer … all imported, including a buxom female serving staff, from Germany.”
“I think I’m getting the picture,” enthused Wragg. “We could even make it a participatory event for those who wished to take part, either as victims … or … uh … well … you know.”
“Right, and there’d be a hefty additional fee levied for that privilege.”
“What do you think, love?” Inquired Wragg cautiously.
“Hmmmphh!!! Most undignified … what will people think? … BUT, we do have on staff the necessary girls … augmented as you suggest by paying volunteers … and, if it brings in the needed cash … well then … why not!”
“Excellent, crowed Loxoru, slapping his knee, and holding out his glass to Barb for a refill. “To pull this off, we’ll need to bring in the right people, some from as far away as America. May I suggest for starters that we engage @bobinder as artistic director, and @mp5stab as his most able assistant. Put @Harsh Martinet in charge of wardrobe, or lack there of. And @wulf in charge of the design and placement of props … premium wood and rope supplied, of course, by @messaline of Anjou. @thehangingtree would be excellent as Technical Advisor, so long as we can keep him relatively sober. @Fossy will handle promotions. @twonines and @Davec5299 will be in charge of immortalizing each event in Limerick verse. We’ll recruit @settantuno for artistic expression of individual events. @Madiosi in charge of a commemorative publication. And last, but not least, let’s put @Jollyrei in charge of the postmortem clean up and disposal.”
“Yes! Yes! Let’s get them all on board!”
“And, of course, we’ll likely need the services of others I haven’t listed here.”
“Ahem!!!! Wragg! You do know that I’m standing here with the good Count’s hand planted firmly on my tight little bum listening to all of this! Aren’t you going to ask me and the other staff girls what we might think of this scheme?” demanded Barb.
“Well … uh … no, Barb. As always, here at Cruxton, you’ll do as you’re bloody well told.”
“Yes, m’Lord.”
TBC
“An excellent Sunday roast dinner, Lady Wragg, truly superb. The chicken was succulent, the Yorkshire pudding a delight, and the Mosel Riesling a perfect complement and a thoughtfully kind gesture to a German dinner guest like myself.”
“Thank you my dear @Loxuru . I’ll convey those kind sentiments to the Cruxton Abbey kitchen staff. Now Barbara, dear, please refill the Count’s wine glass, and do stop surreptitiously licking the mouth of the bottle when you think I’m not looking.”
“Oh please don’t reprimand the girl, Lady Wragg. Like me, she clearly knows what’s good in life. I do hope to see more of her as the evening wears on.”
“That can be arranged,” chimed in Wragg with a sly wink, to which Barb pulled a face when she thought no one was looking.
“Now down to business, my dear Wragg. It’s my understanding that you wish my advice on some difficult financial matters.”
“Yes, Lox. To put it simply, Lady Wragg and I need to raise a rather substantial sum of cash … very quickly.”
“Yes,” chimed in Lady Wragg, “we are in danger of losing Cruxton Abbey to our creditors. We are in crisis. There’s little time in which to pull off what would have to be a monetary miracle. We are hoping, given your expertise in such matters, that you might be able to show us the way.”
“Say no more. I’m happy to help, and I think the answer is simple enough. You must think very big, and endeavor to pull off something truly revolutionary and breathtakingly exciting that will capture popular attention and bring in loads of cash!”
“Yes, that’s surely what we need,” agreed Lady Wragg. “Barbara dear, do pay attention! The Count’s wine glass is in need of refilling once again.”
“Yes, your Ladyship. Do I allow him to pinch my bum again too?”
“Oh, good Lord girl! What a thing to say! You’ll report to the cellar tomorrow morning … for a quick dozen strokes!”
“Yes, your Ladyship.”
“Ummm, getting back to the matter at hand, Lox …” intervened Wragg quickly. “Just what kind of extraordinary money raising event did you have in mind?”
“Well, dear Wragg, you must think boldly and thoroughly, to plan minutely and execute with single minded determination … something we Germans have observed you English absolutely lack the capacity to do.”
“Really? What makes you think that?”
“Well, we watch your television shows, of course … ‘Fawlty Towers’, ‘Monty Python’, ‘Keeping up Appearances’, ‘Allo! Allo!’, ‘The Office’, ‘Blackadder’ to name a few … need I say more?”
“Point well taken, I guess. Barbara! Please refill the Count’s glass again.”
“Yes, m’Lord …. Owwwww!”
“So, Wragg, here’s the plan. Cruxton Abbey is your one big asset. You must do as others have done in your predicament and open it to the public. But you must also have .. what’s the word … Ach, yes … a gimmick … something that no other great house on the National Register can offer!”
“And what is that, pray tell?”
“Your staff, for starts … you have a staff that includes any number of comely young maidens … as for example, Barbara here! And then there’s the house, a house that undoubtedly must possess a dungeon-like cellar! And then the garden and grounds, plenty of space to stage a spectacle! Am I right?”
“Well I suppose …”
“Imagine, it you will, something original, truly unique … a tableau event with girls … girls … girls … each a beauty in her own right. Come one come all and see them suffer … as in times of old … the indignities and terror of the rack, the stocks, the whipping post, the gibbet and hangman’s noose, the dance of the crucified … all artfully and realistically staged for the enjoyment of a select, well-heeled and filthy rich clientele willing to ante up an exorbitant price of admission to the greatest show on earth … the American impresarios, PT Barnum and Ziegfeld couldn’t have done better!”
“Well …”
“Think, Wragg … Imagine … imagine young Barbara here … stretched naked and sweat-sheened on a rack … or stripped down to her hips and tethered to a post, writhing and prancing under the bite of the lash … or struggling while fixed to a cross, wearing nothing but a loincloth, precariously held in place and in imminently danger of slipping away … And perhaps a beer garden at which the paying guests can relax and enjoy the proffered spectacles while paying exorbitant prices for mugs of beer … all imported, including a buxom female serving staff, from Germany.”
“I think I’m getting the picture,” enthused Wragg. “We could even make it a participatory event for those who wished to take part, either as victims … or … uh … well … you know.”
“Right, and there’d be a hefty additional fee levied for that privilege.”
“What do you think, love?” Inquired Wragg cautiously.
“Hmmmphh!!! Most undignified … what will people think? … BUT, we do have on staff the necessary girls … augmented as you suggest by paying volunteers … and, if it brings in the needed cash … well then … why not!”
“Excellent, crowed Loxoru, slapping his knee, and holding out his glass to Barb for a refill. “To pull this off, we’ll need to bring in the right people, some from as far away as America. May I suggest for starters that we engage @bobinder as artistic director, and @mp5stab as his most able assistant. Put @Harsh Martinet in charge of wardrobe, or lack there of. And @wulf in charge of the design and placement of props … premium wood and rope supplied, of course, by @messaline of Anjou. @thehangingtree would be excellent as Technical Advisor, so long as we can keep him relatively sober. @Fossy will handle promotions. @twonines and @Davec5299 will be in charge of immortalizing each event in Limerick verse. We’ll recruit @settantuno for artistic expression of individual events. @Madiosi in charge of a commemorative publication. And last, but not least, let’s put @Jollyrei in charge of the postmortem clean up and disposal.”
“Yes! Yes! Let’s get them all on board!”
“And, of course, we’ll likely need the services of others I haven’t listed here.”
“Ahem!!!! Wragg! You do know that I’m standing here with the good Count’s hand planted firmly on my tight little bum listening to all of this! Aren’t you going to ask me and the other staff girls what we might think of this scheme?” demanded Barb.
“Well … uh … no, Barb. As always, here at Cruxton, you’ll do as you’re bloody well told.”
“Yes, m’Lord.”
TBC
@Barbaria1
It looks like the plan is cumming together! Outrageous acts in that awful dungeon, and crucifixions in the garden.
Maybe a separate beer garden if there is room?
(No question there will be a wine bar.) Dungeon damsels have to be on break too - it's public policy, just don't tell anyone....And the revenue!!!
It looks like the plan is cumming together! Outrageous acts in that awful dungeon, and crucifixions in the garden.
Maybe a separate beer garden if there is room?
(No question there will be a wine bar.) Dungeon damsels have to be on break too - it's public policy, just don't tell anyone....And the revenue!!!
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Mikerytel
Senator
20 extra wacks for the silly face made after the yes m'lord
Of course. The simple thing to do is something nobody else has ever pulled off. Child's play.
Lady Wragg is nothing if not practical. Well, she is something other than practical - calculating, firm, potentially machiavellian, but certainly practical.
Oh yes, let's.
Does this mean you plan to kill off the staff as you go? I suppose that's one way to reduce expenses, but you should consider whether the floors will stay polished and the toilets will still need cleaning. Perhaps I should just monitor them and get them down before they actually expire?
Naturally. Imagine asking to have a say in the matter. Staff these days.
Mikerytel
Senator
a wonderful estate cruxton abbey is. To solve the financial woes it can be open for film movies
I wonder of Lord and Lady Wragg have actually been in all of those rooms. That place is job security for all the domestic staff. In the dungeon as well!
Mikerytel
Senator
The lord's estate is at the very top so maybe. Too much of a walk sometimes
Of course they do, they sleep in a different bedroom every day of the year.
In the condition of the estate, it's too expensive to retrofit elevators. (Well, maybe with the new source of funds anticipated, there can be one to the dungeon. Victims are still hauled down the stairs naked though.
Bwahahaha!)
Mikerytel
Senator
Don't let barb near the beerI say!
This Loxuru chappie is a financial genius!
OR the wine cellar!Don't let barb near the beer
Just a minute! Who are you saying lacks single.....
What was I going to say?
Yes, and so does the Count!
Absolutely!
I know. Terrible, isn't it? Look how she speaks to me! "Wragg!" - like I'm the undergardener! I'm a peer of the realm, I am!