Jeeves In The Northern Forest

[Eulalia]

How big is the back seat of a Rolls?

(1929 RR Phantom)

They weren't called Rollers for nothing

 

[Eulalia]

What? Chauffeur and valet and no salary increase? Lord Jollyrei is a 1% exploiter of the working man. Bernie Sanders come quick to Scotland; they need a revolution here!

The last Communist-held council seat in Scotland fell to Labour only last week

 

[RacingRodent]

View attachment 412829 (1929 RR Phantom)

Wait...what do you mean they've borrowed my Phantom?

 

[Jollyrei]

3.
“Did you say you were Lord Jollyrei’s chauffeur?”

“I did sir. And his valet. His Lordship has had to make economies recently. He is currently staying with Lady McTavish. He asked me to waste no time. It seems he is very anxious to have a conversation with you, sir.”

I closed my mouth. McWindar did not look like a man to trifle with. I suspected he also acted as Jollyrei’s executioner. I only hoped he’d sharpened the sword properly. We Wraggs are allergic to pain.

Jeeves sat up front, chatting easily with McWindar, while I sat in the back of Jollyrei’s Rolls Royce between Barb and her maid, like a condemned man going to the gallows.

Well, there's destitute, and then there's destitute. I mean, it is reduced circs - having to employ only one chauffer/valet, and there's only the Rolls left, and the flat in London. Nothing like what it used to be.

Don't worry too much about McWindar - he's very genteel. Not quite the same feudal spirit as Jeeves, but we can't all have everything, can we? See, he said I want a conversation. Very understated. I was thinking about some slightly more forceful encounter, given the sitch you got me into, but since we're all at Cumfillin together, hosted by your Aunt, I suppose a conversation is what I settle for. A gentleman has to have some manners.

What? Chauffeur and valet and no salary increase? Lord Jollyrei is a 1% exploiter of the working man. Bernie Sanders come quick to Scotland; they need a revolution here!

Now wait - our author said I had you doing two jobs. He didn't say I was shorting you on wages. Wages are in line with the scale published by the Ganymede Club. I have to say I'm a bit miffed that you would assume I would underpay someone as crucial to life as a valet. Yes, I believe miffed is the correct word.

 

[cruxlover]

One of the joys of the golden age of steam, to judge from one experience of steam-hauled train ride,
was the likelihood of asphyxiation if you didn't urgently haul up the window when it entered a tunnel

Being pedantic, I'm sure the staff of even the 1st class dining car in the days of LMS
would have been flummoxed by a request for muesli . I wonder even about coffee -
it was still one of those dubious Continental habits

I am sure that the waiter would have suggested fine Scots porridge, with cream and a single malt chaser as a much better (and healthier) alternative.

This is the route Bertie would have taken by LMS sleeping car express between Carlisle and Edinburgh.
Fortunately I am sure Jeeves would have advised him against chickening-out and leaving the train at Riccarton.
http://www.disused-stations.org.uk/r/riccarton_junction/index.shtml

 

[phlebas]

Good grief!

View attachment 412640

PhleeeeBAS!

Please allow me to introduce myself
I'm a man of wealth and taste

PS yes a Rolls has lots or room in the back, likewise a Bentley.
That's why we had one for our wedding, easy to get the big dress in!
The little details count on the day, you don't want to be squeezing into the back seat of an Escort

 

[RacingRodent]

The little details count on the day, you don't want to be squeezing into the back seat of an Escort

A lot of famous folk got their start in life thanks to some squeezing in the back of an Escort

 

[Repertor]

A lot of famous folk got their start in life thanks to some squeezing in the back of an Escort

 

[phlebas]

A lot of famous folk got their start in life thanks to some squeezing in the back of an Escort

Different kind of squeezing, RR!

There's something about a classic car

In suitable condition of course


But needs must, if an Escort is all that fate provides

 

[old slave]

A lot of famous folk got their start in life thanks to some squeezing in the back of an Escort

View attachment 413447

This OS got his first 'experiences' in the back of an Anglia, just as small, just as uncomfortable, not recommended when you've little idea where to put anything.

​

And for those who think he's totally useless, I meant our feet, it was so narrow and the back windows didn't open.

 

[RacingRodent]

And for those who think he's totally useless, I meant our feet, it was so narrow and the back windows didn't open.

I totally sympathise, little things like shoulders, necks and the fact that ribs don't bend in the middle can all become painfully obvious in such circumstances.

 

[phlebas]

This OS got his first 'experiences' in the back of an Anglia, just as small, just as uncomfortable, not recommended when you've little idea where to put anything.

View attachment 413451​

​

Did the earth move, Old Slave?, or did the ground just drop away?

 

[old slave]

Did the earth move, Old Slave?, or did the ground just drop away?

View attachment 413452 View attachment 413453

If I remember it correctly, the earth did move for us.

We got stuck in the mud.

At least that's what we told her mum to explain the stains on her dress.

After we abandoned the Anglia and lay in the bluebell wood.

 

[Repertor]

I totally sympathise, little things like shoulders, necks and the fact that ribs don't bend in the middle can all become painfully obvious in such circumstances.

We got stuck in the mud.

 

[windar]

Wages are in line with the scale published by the Ganymede Club.

That sounds like a group of 1% ers if I ever heard of one.

 

[Jollyrei]

That sounds like a group of 1% ers if I ever heard of one.

I say, Bertie. You don't suppose McWindar here might be one of those 'Red Dawn' chappies?

The Ganymede Club is where all the best valets come from. Sort of a "gentleman's gentlemen's" club and employment service. I must be having hard times if I hired a non-Ganymede valet.

 

[cruxlover]

This OS got his first 'experiences' in the back of an Anglia, just as small, just as uncomfortable, not recommended when you've little idea where to put anything.

View attachment 413451​

And for those who think he's totally useless, I meant our feet, it was so narrow and the back windows didn't open.

Also the 105E Anglia had no back window parcels shelf, just the narrow back of the rear seat squab. My father's Border Terrier would insist on trying to recline on that anyway, until my step mother applied the brakes, but he jumped up again straight away. (The dog came from the foot of Cheviot, so real border.)

Here is Bertram Wragg's way to the North.
Maybe the border is closer to London at the Carlisle end (Carlisle 60 miles further south than Berwick-upon-Tweed) but just as far to Aunt Eulalia nae doot. Typical of Bertie, Should have listened to Jeeves, but maybe that was deliberate.

 

[Repertor]

She carried on about how thrilled Thessela was, how thrilled Phlebas was (I saw her point there, he must have been in the seventh heaven)

Which one? Or is it he same?

Jeeves was on the platform already, supervising the unloading of our luggage

Barb went off to see whether her ladies maid was coping with theirs.

“Jeeves! I’m in the doghouse!”

My name is Angus McWindar, and I am Lord Jollyrei’s chauffeur.

McWindar did not look like a man to trifle with. I suspected he also acted as Jollyrei’s executioner.

Please allow me to introduce myself
I'm a man of wealth and taste.

PS yes a Rolls has lots or room in the back, likewise a Bentley.
That's why we had one for our wedding, easy to get the big dress in!
The little details count on the day, you don't want to be squeezing into the back seat of an Escort

 

[thehangingtree]

3.


I was desperate for a chat with Jeeves! We could not go to Cumfillin Castle! Aunt Eulalia was bad enough when she had built up a head of steam, but this Lady Threepwood filly, though I’d never met her, sounded like a woman who could give Aunt Agatha a run for her money in a competition to find the world’s fiercest dragon. But Jeeves was somewhere else on the train, and I was stuck in this confounded dining car with Barb. Please don’t misunderstand me, most men would have given their eye teeth to be sat where I was, with a girl who’d make Helen of Troy look like an old hag, and normally I’d have been delighted with such company. But just at that moment, I’d have swapped her for Jeeves in a heartbeat.

She carried on about how thrilled Thessela was, how thrilled Phlebas was (I saw her point there, he must have been in the seventh heaven), how wonderful Thessela would look in her wedding dress, and so on. I grunted regularly as I hoped might be appropriate, meanwhile my brain spun as I tried to think of a way out of this pickle.

With a final rattle over yet more points, and one last scream from the tortured brakes, the train lurched to a standstill.

“Our stop, I think, Bertie!”

“Oh! Are you on your way to Aunt Eulalia’s too?”

“Yes, I am. I was staying there when Phlebas called. I thought I ought to go with them, at least as far as London. Decorum, you understand?”

“Oh. Decorum. Yes, indeed. Absolutely. Decorum.” I didn’t think she knew of the word’s existence. Nevertheless, I followed her off the train. Jeeves was on the platform already, supervising the unloading of our luggage, and Barb went off to see whether her ladies maid was coping with theirs.

My opportunity!

I whizzed over to him. “Jeeves! I’m in the doghouse!”

He raised an eyebrow. “Indeed, sir?”

“Indeed, Jeeves! My fate is sealed! I’m doomed! Listen, Lord Jollyrei and Thess…”

My narrative was strangled at birth by a man in a peaked cap. “Excuse me, Gentlemen. The Honourable Bertram Wragg and Mr Jeeves I presume? My name is Angus McWindar, and I am Lord Jollyrei’s chauffeur. I have been asked to collect yourselves and Miss Fortescue-Phipps, and to drive you directly to Cumfillin Castle.

I gawped at the man.

“Did you say you were Lord Jollyrei’s chauffeur?”

“I did sir. And his valet. His Lordship has had to make economies recently. He is currently staying with Lady McTavish. He asked me to waste no time. It seems he is very anxious to have a conversation with you, sir.”

I closed my mouth. McWindar did not look like a man to trifle with. I suspected he also acted as Jollyrei’s executioner. I only hoped he’d sharpened the sword properly. We Wraggs are allergic to pain.

Jeeves sat up front, chatting easily with McWindar, while I sat in the back of Jollyrei’s Rolls Royce between Barb and her maid, like a condemned man going to the gallows.

Of course Thessela looked stunning in her wedding 'dress' with her platinum bracelets....

 

[windar]

I say, Bertie. You don't suppose McWindar here might be one of those 'Red Dawn' chappies?

Well, if Repertor's photos are to be believed (and that is by no means a sure thing), I may be a North Korean plant. If I were you, I'd prepare my own tea.