Limericks

[Eulalia]

Said Phlebas 'G'day' to Eulalia,
'It's fair dinkum that you're in Australia -
On the Bondi Beach coast
We're planning a roast -
On the barbecue spit we'll impale ya!'

 

[Wragg]

There once was an Englishman named Wragg
Young parlor maids they say he did shag
Deflowered on four posters
Whipped on posteriors
No night at Cruxton was ever a drag

 

[Wragg]

Said Phlebas, g'day to Eulalia,
It's fair dinkum that you're in Australia -

See, Jollyrei!

I told you that's how it rhymed!

 

[morten sigurdson]

In Deutschland lebt ein Mann,
der gar nicht wusste, was er kann.
Auf Crux Forums konnt er wagen,
junge Frauen ans Kreuz zu schlagen.
Depictor of Dreams wurde er dann.

In Germany live a man,
who not knowed, what he can.
On CruxForums he could dare,
to crucify young Girls bare.
Depictor of Dreams has been this man.

Nice poem, and it"s so beautiful in German, love German languige very much.

 

[Marcius]

The speech bubble said that she was a troia,
Her girlfriend was fucked hard by the boia.
Watermelon-like tits
And bizarrely wet slits —
Must be new Markus’ panel, I told ya.

 

[old slave]

Near me live Melissa and Julie,
In Brampton where life's most unruly,
Whenever they feast
They eat not a beast
But a witch hanged by Tree most cruelly.

 

[Jollyrei]

Said Phlebas, g'day to Eulalia,
It's fair dinkum that you're in Australia -
On the Bondi Beach coast
We're planning a roast -
On the barbecue spit we'll impale ya!

Brilliant work. That's our Mr. Phlebas.

A slave girl in bondage named Eul,
Ground coffee, but was nobody's fool.
She enlisted the aid
Of another young maid
Who did most of the work, as a rule.

 

[Wragg]

Brilliant work. That's our Mr. Phlebas.

A slave girl in bondage named Eul,
Ground coffee, but was nobody's fool.
She enlisted the aid
Of another young maid
Who did most of the work, as a rule.

A fine country gent, Jollyrei
Went off to drink coffee one day
But really, I think,
It wasn't the drink
But the girls who gave whizz to his way!

 

[Cella]

A virginal girl named Marcella
At night dreams of fucking a fella
She awakes with a grunt
As she fingers her cunt
But climaxes singing in sweet a cappella

 

[Cella]

A country gentleman named Mr Tree
Crucifies girls by local decree
Grim-faced he raises them high
Ignoring their piteous cries
But laughs as they torrentially pee

 

[Barbaria1]

A country gentleman named Mr Tree
Crucifies girls by local decree
Grim-faced he raises them high
Ignoring their piteous cries
But laughs as they torrentially pee

Country “gentleman”?????

 

[Madiosi]

A virginal girl named Marcella
At night dreams of fucking a fella
She awakes with a grunt
As she fingers her cunt
But climaxes singing in sweet a cappella

A country gentleman named Mr Tree
Crucifies girls by local decree
Grim-faced he raises them high
Ignoring their piteous cries
But laughs as they torrentially pee

Perfectly according to the Limerick verse measure and rules!

 

[windar]

Stan's motives might not have been pure
It's really quite hard to be sure
But he searched all New York
It was very hard work
And saved the tight little of Moore

 

[phlebas]

Said Phlebas, g'day to Eulalia,
It's fair dinkum that you're in Australia -
On the Bondi Beach coast
We're planning a roast -
On the barbecue spit we'll impale ya!

I've just seen this thread, and I'm humbled to be included

I would be honoured my dear Eulalia,
Should you ever come to Australia
But no BBQ spit,
On my cornu you'll sit
While to the wood I will nail ya

 

[old slave]

There was a young man from Kilkenny
So poor he had not got a penny
He got paid for a job
To hold back the wild mob
While on the cross writhed his wife Jenny

 

[old slave]

A ship full of men from Maroc
Spied a pretty girl in a red frock
Getting quickly to shore
The frock was no more
As chained nude she was yoked to their stock

 

[windar]

Wragg's wonderful story, "All at Sea with Jeeves" reminded me of this one:

Aboard the good ship Venus
You really should have seen us
Our figurehead
Was a whore in bed
And our mast was a phallic penis

 

[CruxLove]

Such entertaining and interesting work by everybody.
From the realistic to the surreal, and from the farcical to the nonsensical.

Would like to see this thread continue.

 

[andy01]

This is an article I posted here years ago, but the Anitergia of Lucius Fatuus do seem to fit rather well in this thread

 

[Naraku]

This is an article I posted here years ago, but the Anitergia of Lucius Fatuus do seem to fit rather well in this thread

Thank you , Andy, for making us aware of this understandably regrettably forgotten figure of ancient Rome.