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Now This Just Isn't Funny

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One of the few fond memories of my divorce. Glad I saved the image.
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We're having a pretty bad drought in SC
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And it is damn hot, too!
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Anyone else have problems with the little brats teasing your dog?
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Eulalia said:
actually I think the 2nd girl in the cross-carrying procession is SJ's version of me - so one full-frontal, and another up on my cross.
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Oh, so that's you on the other side of Messaline on the cross? Sorry, I'm still kinda' new at this. Now, if I could only get that picture to zoom in and focus better, I could really enjoy you while you, as you said so wonderfully in the email you sent me, could enjoy being enjoyed.

Wait, is that you in Andaroos, Chapter 9? Aha, I looked at the credits, it is you. Problem solved.
 
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erm
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A long time ago in a driveway far far away
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Own up, how many of you get this?
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I can attest to the truth of this
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erm, one for Doctor Who?
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In post 7079, Gibbs505 (c’mon, are there really 504 other Gibbs on this forum?) suggested I do for “The Girl From Ipanema” what I did for “I Enjoy Being a Girl” in post 7071.

This turned out to present several problems:

1) The song cried out for movement which meant a movie vs. a slide show. This bumps into the upload limit.

2) “Ipanema” is not quite as innately sexist as “Enjoy Being a Girl” is, so getting it to REALLY sexist takes more work.

3) Inherently, I’m a lazy bastard, and doing a whole song also takes more work.

4) Inherently, Gibbs is a tight bastard who isn’t paying me a fucking penny to do this.

So Gibbs, if you wanna start talking serious bucks, and about buying me some data compression software, we can start talking complete song.

Until then, here it is. “Girl From Ipanema” – the short version.

View attachment the girl from ipanema.mp4
 
Gibbs505 said:
Great work!
Tech speaking I am a Cro-Magnons! But I don't fuck pennies, I treasure them and took about a hundred bucks to the bank!!
The Gibbs thing needs a little explaining, I used to hunt but age and health issues put a stop to that. When I was younger a rifle chambered in .505 Gibbs was my favorite!
A comparison with other 'small' cartridges!
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Just curious, how many plans to kill do you have? Um ... does meeting on cyberspace count? Seems to me it shouldn't, but maybe that's just me.
 
Gibbs505 said:
Great work!
Tech speaking I am a Cro-Magnons! But I don't fuck pennies, I treasure them and took about a hundred bucks to the bank!!
The Gibbs thing needs a little explaining, I used to hunt but age and health issues put a stop to that. When I was younger a rifle chambered in .505 Gibbs was my favorite!
A comparison with other 'small' cartridges!
Click to expand...
Just curious, how much do 10,000 pennies weigh?
 
Gibbs505 said:
Great work!
Tech speaking I am a Cro-Magnons! But I don't fuck pennies, I treasure them and took about a hundred bucks to the bank!!
The Gibbs thing needs a little explaining, I used to hunt but age and health issues put a stop to that. When I was younger a rifle chambered in .505 Gibbs was my favorite!
A comparison with other 'small' cartridges!
Click to expand...
After viewing that chart, I can only think of one thing:
Overcompensating_43f302_568884.jpg
 
Praefectus Praetorio said:
I don't. But I'm senile...I think...Maybe not...not what?...Was there a question?...Why am I on this forum??
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@phlebas Are you going to tell us?
Naraku said:
After viewing that chart, I can only think of one thing:
View attachment 1013623
Click to expand...

Madiosi said:
10.000 1Euro-Cent-Coins = 23kg.
10.000 UK-Pennies = 15,5kg = 34,17161 lbs
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US pennies are 25 KG. WE win! Go USA. See middle quote.

They are modernizing street signs
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I have three wireless doorbells, self-charging
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I found this very valuable advice
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Did I post this before?
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It says it all!
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A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program..
The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck.
She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company.
The sign reads, 'If you can catch me, you can have me.'
Without a second thought, he takes off after her.
A few miles later huffing and puffing, he finally gives up..
The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens.
On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs. as promised.
He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program.
The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life..
She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, 'If you catch me you can have me'.
Well, he's out the door after her like a shot.
This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck.
So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape.
Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 20 lbs.
as promised.
He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program...
'Are you sure?' asks the representative on the phone... 'This is our most rigorous program.'
Absolutely,' he replies, 'I haven't felt this good in years.'
The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, 'If I catch you, you're mine.'
He lost 63 pounds that week.

In the back woods of Arkansas, Mr. Stewart's wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery.
To keep the nervous father-to-be busy, the doctor handed him a lantern and said, "Here, you hold this high so I can see what I'm doing."
Soon, a wee baby boy was brought into the world.
"Whoa there Scotty!" said the doctor. "Don't be in a rush to put the lantern down... I think there's yet another wee one to come."
Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered another little baby.
"No, no, don't be in a great hurry to be putting down that lantern, young man... It seems there's yet another one besides!" cried the doctor.
The new father scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the doctor: "Do ya think it's the light that's attractin' them?"
 
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The Chinese Doctor summed up: Look mister, Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Beer in one hand - chocolate in the other body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride my life was"!!!!!
Eat whatever you like because you will still DIE, don't allow motivational speakers deceive you.
1. The inventor of the treadmill had died at the age of 54.
2. The inventor of gymnastics died at the age of 57.
3. The world bodybuilding champion died at the age of 41.
4. The best footballer in the world Maradona, died at the age of 60.
BUT.........
5. The KFC inventor died at 94.
6. Inventor of Nutella brand died at the age of 88.
7. Imagine, cigarette maker Winston died at the age of 102.
8. The inventor of opium died at the age of 116 in an earthquake.
9. Hennessy Cognac inventor dies at 98.

How did these doctors come to the conclusion that exercise prolongs life?
The rabbit is always jumping up and down but it lives for only 2 years and the turtle that doesn’t exercise at all, lives 400 years.
So, take some rest, Chill, stay cool, eat, drink and enjoy your life
 
Naraku said:
After viewing that chart, I can only think of one thing:
View attachment 1013623
Click to expand...
And you would be wrong. All those a serious cartridges for serious hunters of dangerous game, the sort that are inward bound with mayhem on their mind.
These cartridges are designed to stop such animals in their tracks, stop and drop them! And they do the job!
This is the kind of situation although in this case the elephant stopped, it was bluff charging and both walked away!
 

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bellesouth said:
The Chinese Doctor summed up: Look mister, Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Beer in one hand - chocolate in the other body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride my life was"!!!!!
Eat whatever you like because you will still DIE, don't allow motivational speakers deceive you.
1. The inventor of the treadmill had died at the age of 54.
2. The inventor of gymnastics died at the age of 57.
3. The world bodybuilding champion died at the age of 41.
4. The best footballer in the world Maradona, died at the age of 60.
BUT.........
5. The KFC inventor died at 94.
6. Inventor of Nutella brand died at the age of 88.
7. Imagine, cigarette maker Winston died at the age of 102.
8. The inventor of opium died at the age of 116 in an earthquake.
9. Hennessy Cognac inventor dies at 98.

How did these doctors come to the conclusion that exercise prolongs life?
The rabbit is always jumping up and down but it lives for only 2 years and the turtle that doesn’t exercise at all, lives 400 years.
So, take some rest, Chill, stay cool, eat, drink and enjoy your life
Click to expand...
I love this kind of wisdom!:roto2cafe::Saeufer::popcorn:
 
Husband: My wife is missing. She went to rescue people from the flood yesterday and has not come home ...
Sergeant at Police Station:
What is her height?

Husband:
Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.

Sergeant:
Weight?

Husband:
Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.

Sergeant:
Color of eyes?

Husband:
Sort of brown I think. Never really noticed.

Sergeant:
Color of hair?

Husband:
Changes a couple times a year.
Maybe dark brown now.
I can’t remember.

Sergeant:
What was she wearing?

Husband:
Could have been pants, or maybe a skirt or shorts. I don't know exactly.

Sergeant:
What kind of car did she go in?

Husband:
She went in my Jeep.

Sergeant:
What kind of Jeep was it?

Husband: (sobbing)
It's a 2010 Rubicon with Sprintex Supercharger with Intercooler, DiabloSport T-1000 Trinity Programmer, Teraflex Falcon 3.3 Shocks ,1350 RE Reel Drive Shafts, Method 105 Bead Locks, Toyo 37" X 13.5" Tires, Custom Olympic Off Road Front Bumper, Olympic Off Road Smuggler Rear Bumper with tire carrier, Seward Radius 4s LED Light, Seward 12" LED Light bar, 50" LED Light bar with, sPod LED switch pod with Boost gage,, Rigid LED Lights, 15# Power Tank, Rock Hard Cage, Rock Hard Under Armor, Posion Spyder Sliders, Posion Spyder Crusher Fenders, Posion Spyder Evap Armor, Posion Spyder Extreme Duty Trans-Mount Cross Member, Bushwacker rear armor, 5.13 Gears, Magnum 44 Front Axle, Off Road Evolution "C" Gussets, Cobra 75 CB Radio, Warn 10K on Front and 8K Winch on Rear, Bartact Seat Covers, Delta Quad Bar Xenon Headlamps,Tantrum LED Offroad Rock Lights, Teraflex HD Tie Rod, Teraflex Falcon Steering Stabilizer, Teraflex Alpine Long Control Arms Front & Rear, Teraflex 4" springs, Teraflex JK Performance Slotted Big Rotor Kit, TeraFlex Monster HD Forged Front Adjustable Trackbar, Teraflex Front & Rear Brake Line Kit, Teraflex Bump Stops Front & Rear, Surprise Straps, Hothead Headliner, Teraflex D-44 Diff Covers, Wild Boar Grille, Rigid Ridge Hood, Drake Hood Latch's & a Tuffy Security Drawer......
(At this point, the sobbing has turned into a full cry.)

Sergeant:
Don't worry buddy. We'll find your Jeep.
 
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