T
The Fallen Angel
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Shopping in Khabadami
If you went shopping in àny UK town these days you wouldn't park your expensive bike outside without at least a padlock and chain to ensure it will be there when you finished. Sadly the same is becoming true in the Kingdom of Khabadami where stealing slaves from outside markets and other oft frequented places is on the increase. The king has promised a crackdown and in the meantime continues to advise branding, tatooing and the fitting of good quality slave rings and chains.
If you are thinking of visiting Khabadami then unless you can speak the language fluently in 34 different dialects it would be advisable to act dumb..literally. Their alphabet is constantly under review and currently consists of 53 letters of which 18 are what we would refer to as vowels. Many tourists have been rushed to hospital having swallowed their tongue, locked their jaw or both attempting to hold a simple conversation. Electronic translators and even the most sophisticated web sites fall far short of offering a safe translation. Recently a Sam Dungworth from Bolton decided to show off to his pals in a restaurant by asking for the bill in the native language instead of miming. He thought he said "Please may I have the bill?" but due to the wrong choice of vowel it came out as "Your face looks like my mother in law's backside!". He was totally unaware that what he uttered was officially the third worst insult that could be used in the Kingdom and punishable by at least a public flogging. After three days in a cell he did manage to get through to the Embassy. Boris was in charge in the UK and personally intervened. He used his Doogle translator which made five wrong choices of vowels. The King was most upset to read his email which suggested that he had many abnormal relations especially with animals, that his country should be nuked and he was definitely gay.
The fate of Sam Dungworth is unknown. My advice to football fans wishing to follow their team in Khabadami is stay at home and watch it on TV.
If you went shopping in àny UK town these days you wouldn't park your expensive bike outside without at least a padlock and chain to ensure it will be there when you finished. Sadly the same is becoming true in the Kingdom of Khabadami where stealing slaves from outside markets and other oft frequented places is on the increase. The king has promised a crackdown and in the meantime continues to advise branding, tatooing and the fitting of good quality slave rings and chains.
If you are thinking of visiting Khabadami then unless you can speak the language fluently in 34 different dialects it would be advisable to act dumb..literally. Their alphabet is constantly under review and currently consists of 53 letters of which 18 are what we would refer to as vowels. Many tourists have been rushed to hospital having swallowed their tongue, locked their jaw or both attempting to hold a simple conversation. Electronic translators and even the most sophisticated web sites fall far short of offering a safe translation. Recently a Sam Dungworth from Bolton decided to show off to his pals in a restaurant by asking for the bill in the native language instead of miming. He thought he said "Please may I have the bill?" but due to the wrong choice of vowel it came out as "Your face looks like my mother in law's backside!". He was totally unaware that what he uttered was officially the third worst insult that could be used in the Kingdom and punishable by at least a public flogging. After three days in a cell he did manage to get through to the Embassy. Boris was in charge in the UK and personally intervened. He used his Doogle translator which made five wrong choices of vowels. The King was most upset to read his email which suggested that he had many abnormal relations especially with animals, that his country should be nuked and he was definitely gay.
The fate of Sam Dungworth is unknown. My advice to football fans wishing to follow their team in Khabadami is stay at home and watch it on TV.
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