Solitary - story of waiting

[WilliamMarwood]

"The usual routine. Somehow, walking these halls in the dark calms me down. I have to focus on the feel of the floor and not think too much, otherwise I will fall into a hole, break bones... and they will take me to the hospital, where I will be under their close supervision. Or.. I'm going to die lying down here. I don't want to do this. Not from illness and not from execution. That's why I carefully feel the ground under my feet."

 

[WilliamMarwood]

"Rhythm, order, routine. This allows to come to terms with yourself. A walk around this whole "Hole". If possible, sleep without thinking or dreaming... Thinking at the right time and amount. Bathing... If you can call it a bath... in those pools downstairs..."

 

[WilliamMarwood]

"These strange pools... weren't made for bathing. Just as the entire building was not built as a prison. Is it possible that they were killing people in the pools where I wash myself?Everything is possible with them. Their ideas are one big mess. I would like to wash them off, but it's impossible. Even ordinary dirt is difficult to wash off here. I don't have soap. Fucked Reverend talked so much about cleanliness... and he smells like men's perfumery... He's disgusted to go near the walls of this hole, so as not to get dirty... He tells me how much he cares about me... He comes here apparently only for me... He tries so hard to gain my trust, he calls himself my friend... but the bastard don't give me piece of soap!"

 

[WilliamMarwood]

"Some time has passed since the last meeting with the priest and I can't stop thinking about him. Maybe provoking him was a bad idea... He has the power here. And I... My back no longer hurts and the marks of the flogging have faded... But the fact is that I lost my temper like an idiot. I got beaten and didn't learn anything about him... Although... I know something: the priest didn't protest when they beat me... And this time they did it in front of him. This fucking hypocrites always say they can't do anything. Damn lie! They always can, they just don't want to. They know no one will check. And this beating was on his orders, which I couldn't see."

 

[WilliamMarwood]

"I think, Reverend has trouble talking to a woman who stands up and responds, instead of listening meekly and crying over her stupidity and his wisdom. They beat me for him, even if he didn't order it directly. The guards look at him like on a God. If they want to pray to him, then they should hang him on the wall. Or on a lamppost."

 

[WilliamMarwood]

"The light is turning on at the entrance. It means that someone is coming... Probably the priest again. The devil sent him a registered letter from hell. I'll go and see what he wants again. I don't want the guards to chase me around the building. During the last beating, the reverend stood and watched. The guards were waiting for his glances. Who, the hell, is he here to direct them so much that they should wait for every blink of his eye? Whoever he is, he will rule me as he wants. They won't let me do any demonstration against their script. And certainly no one will hear what I say. But... I won't obey. If he's playing games with me, I can check out who he is he's here. Like in hazard game. At least I won't let him pretend anymore."

 

[WilliamMarwood]

- Hello, Reverend? Have you come to fight for my soul and look at my tits?
- How dare you speak like that!
- You have to like my boldness! Or what, if no!? Will you order to whip me? Maybe you could honestly admit: you don't care about my soul, you just want to see me beaten naked?!