9. I spent the night in the Abbey torture chamber, naked and shivering in the cramped space of an iron cage. After a while, the Irish girl, Roisin, who occupied the adjoining cage, roused herself and moved closer. We kept warm the rest of the night by pressing together despite the bars. In the morning they brought bread and water.
Then nothing happened until afternoon, other than a couple nuns who turned up to flagellate themselves. I watched with only tepid interest as they stripped to the waist, selected whips from one of the racks and proceeded to take turns whipping each others bared back for an hour or so. Then they left and I spent the rest of the day dozing and regaining my strength, until late afternoon when Ethelbert and Hilda came for me. They released me from the cage and, without bothering to give me anything to wear, led me up out of the crypt and to the vestibule at the west front of the Abbey church.
There I was forced to repeat the performance of the previous morning, shouldering the heavy cross and bearing it down the long nave, wearing only a loincloth; and then allowing myself to be bound to the cross in "mock" crucifixion while the Abbess and nuns performed afternoon prayers.
When it was over, the Abbess held up her hands, commanding everyone's attention. "Good news!" she announced, "we have just this morning received the official proclamation for this year's Competition."
Up on the cross, I wiggled my fingers to restore circulation and wished I could free a hand to scratch an itch. "I want to share the proclamation with everyone here," continued the Abbess, holding up a sheet of parchment, "I have asked Sister Kathleen, whom I have today appointed to the Abbey’s training and support team for the Competition, to read it aloud."
I looked up, interested now, as Sister Kathleen glided down the aisle, all business-like, habit rustling and flowing about her legs. Mounting the altar steps, she bowed and took the proclamation from the Abbess while surreptitiously throwing me a sideways glance. Turning toward her waiting sisters, she held up the proclamation and began to read:
The Competition, which this year will take place on the feast of St. Andrew in the cathedral city of Cruxton is an annual invitational event, in which four Abbeys compete with one another to stage the “best reenactment” of our Savior's crucifixion for the exclusive pleasure of his Eminence, the Cardinal, and his invited guests. "Best reenactment" is defined as that which succeeds in giving his Eminence the greatest pleasure. The winning Abbey goes home with the coveted "Scarlet Cross Banner" to hang proudly in its chapter house for one year.
The following are the official rules and regulations for this year's Competition:
• Each of the four Abbeys chosen by his Eminence to compete in this year's Competition will sacrifice one "willing" young novice. In support of the girl’s crucifixion, each Abbey may field a "support team" of six, typically consisting of the Abbess, two monks and three nuns. Each Abbey is required to supply its own cross, ropes, nails and other necessary paraphernalia. The weight of the cross supplied by the Abbey must be at least equal to 2/3 the weight of the novice. "Performance points" are awarded by his Eminence at each stage of the competition and tallied to determine the winner.
• The reenactments will follow the customary "stations-of-the-cross" sequence, with some leeway for "performance-point-winning" elaborations and embellishments to occur.
• The Competition will commence with the "presentation" which takes place in the Cathedral chapter house. In this opening ceremony, the novices each present themselves, in the company of their Abbess, to his Eminence so they may receive an official blessing and absolution of their sins, as well as undergo a personal inspection by his Eminence, in which initial "performance points" are awarded for beauty, poise, and reverent bearing. The novices are required to present themselves wearing a long cape, covering a simple short virginal-white shift, with only a loin cloth underneath. The loin cloth may carry the crest of their Abbey on it, but otherwise be of white cloth. For the sake of decency, novices will retain their loincloths through all stations-of-the-cross until the very last one.
• The second "condemnation and humiliation" phase of the competition takes place in the Cathedral before the combined communities ... nuns, monks and clergy ... of the four competing Abbeys and of the Cathedral chapter. The general town populace is excluded. In this phase, the novices are formally condemned to suffer and die on the cross. They are disrobed, stripped of everything but their loincloths, and then scourged at the hands of their respective support teams.
• In the third "bearing the cross" phase, a crown of thorns is placed on their brows, and they are forced to bear their crosses on their backs for three circuits of the cathedral's outer aisles. Failure to bear their crosses the length of the route results in a loss of "performance points" and brings shame to their Abbey, so support teams are advised to do their utmost to keep their novice moving.
• In the fourth and final phase of the competition, the novices carry their crosses to the Cathedral cloister, where their support teams bind and nail them to their crosses, raise them and crucify them until dead. This final phase is observed exclusively by the Cardinal and a select group of invited guests. During this final "private" phase, the condemned may be stripped of their loin cloths, tortured and further humiliated by their support teams in "any manner" the teams believe might draw the favorable attentions of the Cardinal and his invited guests, and earn their Competition entry additional "performance points" This is the most competitive part of the proceedings. The endurance and longevity of the crucified novices on the cross can play a critical role here.
Sister Kathleen sets down the parchment and looks out over her hushed audience, pausing to let it all sink in, before turning to the altar, falling to her knees and praying while glancing up and smiling at me from time to time. When she has finished praying, the service ends.
My serious training is about to begin.
TO BE CONTINUED
... Looks like the French entry could be in danger of being a little overfed (croissants and butter), but all that sex will be sure to keep her lean and supple.
Las Vegas odds makers are saying this could be close
