9 Exciting dreams on the cross
The next morning I could hardly wait for Aunt Annie to go off to work. I was in a fever. All night I’d been thinking about bondage and what was awaiting me in the morning when I got up. I couldn’t help it, it had grabbed me, I was so eager, it was as if I’d just fallen in love. Crazy thoughts just poured around in my head. I silently thanked God that my cousin had caught me looking at 'the girl with no name'. By myself, I’d never have dared in my life to talk to Dorothea about my secret longings. I still thought it incredible the way this discovery of my desire for bondage had just happened.
After Aunt Annie had left and we’d washed the breakfast dishes, we went immediately to grandfather's workshop. The cross greeted me, cold and cruel. I stripped myself naked without turning a hair, it was just like changing my clothes - there was no longer any shame in me, I just did it. It was a necessary part, you don’t go to the cross in clothes, even a bikini would have been inappropriate. Being naked was essential, having to stand naked, it was really good for me. For tennis you put on your tennis dress, for swimming you pull on a swimsuit or bikini, for crucifixion you strip off all your clothes. I put my kit aside and went to the cross. I touched the smooth wood with my hand. It felt cool, but not cold. It would soon take some of my body-heat. As I lay down on the upright and moved my body into position, I thought briefly of a cross of iron. Phew! That would be cold - freezing cold. No, that's not for me.
Dorothea bound my wrists with the rope, knotted them and tied me up."What a lot of work there always is with these cords," she said, smiling down at me while she tightened her knots, "This is coming to an end, Lisette." I was shocked, an end ?! Didn't she want to tie me up me any longer? Oh, please no! This couldn’t be! I wanted the cross! I wanted to test it, savour it to the bitter end, hang there for hours, suffering. My cousin had read my thoughts, she went on, "No, not what you think, Lisette. I’ve invested a portion of my pocket money and ordered a bunch of stuff on the internet. Tomorrow the package should be here." She went to my feet and started tying my ankles with twists of the rope. "I’ve ordered leather bondage cuffs, they’re better than cords, easier to handle and you'll be able to bear it easier for longer sessions. The leather will fit round your joints, like pulling on a pair of boots. After a while, they’ll fit like a glove." She tied a knot and looked me in the eyes, "Then we can intensify your training, Lisette! For an hour and a half, and then two. Who knows how far you'll go. Anyway, I'm curious, how many hours you’ll be able to stand up to it, by the end of the holidays"
She leaned over me and stroked my cheek, "I mean, real suffering, Lisette. Not just yet, but maybe one day you’ll say, okay, I'll do four hours today on the cross, Dorothea, just leave me don’t let me come down - and then you'll torture yourself through those four hours of suffering and you’ll cope with it to the end and even want more. That would show real stamina! Only when you want four hours a day, again and again, will it be really good. Do you understand what I mean?" I nodded. My heart was pounding hard against my ribs as I lay naked and stretched on the cross. Doro’s words excited me tremendously. Four hours! Four! Would I ever make it? I didn’t know. Would I give up in two hours? In three? How far would I make it? I had no idea, but I had to make it real, I had to get answers to my questions.
Dorothea went to the pulley and hauled up. I closed my eyes and gave myself up entirely. One hour. That would be long. Sixty minutes. But hadn’t I held out yesterday for three-quarters of an hour? There had been a crisis, but I got over it. I'd do it today. While Doro secured the cross upright, I kept my eyes closed, concentrating fully on my crucifixion. I was suspended by my wrists, I was bound, I was helpless, defenceless. I couldn’t get away by my own effort. The helplessness excited me beyond measure, I had to endure, whether I liked it or not. Even if it was unbearable, I had to endure it. The very idea made my heart beat violently. It must be endured – I have to endure it, no way out.
I opened my eyes. Dorothea was standing below looking up at me, she was gazing at me, what she saw pleased her. "You look beautiful, Lisette," she said. "You would not believe how pretty you are when you're naked and tied up. You look like a living work of art, as if the work of a famous painter has suddenly come to life. You’re lovely already, but when you're really experiencing it, you seem even more beautiful, when you submit yourself to the cross. Yesterday I watched you, Lisette, you should have seen yourself, enduring the cross." Enduring the cross, oh, what an expression. My breathing grew faster, so did my heartbeat.
"I could photograph you." Dorothea spoke from the floor up to me, she had to look up to me. She was free, she had power over me, but I was raised up, I stood over her, she had to look up to me. "But a photo is no good,"my cousin continued. She shook her head, "A photo like your 'girl with no name' on your computer comes by chance once in a hundred years. If I snap you with my digital camera, you’ll just be a naked girl in bondage. Very enjoyable, yes, but nothing more." Dorothea's eyes glazed over, "I can’t, Lisette .... It would desecrate everything – I, really ... you .... on the cross you are taboo! Lisette, you’re set above everything, you're like a saint, a young goddess that no-one may touch on the cross – I mustn’t even touch you with the sensor of a digital camera, I can only look at you with my eyes, only with my eyes may I touch you. I tie you up, Lisette - and when you get down you’ll feel the floor, and maybe a leather strap, or a wooden spoon, but on the cross you are taboo, on the cross you are yourself." She stood before me and contemplated me. It was a strange feeling, being watched by my own cousin in this way. I was naked and tied up. But as long as it was only Dorothea ....
The next morning I could hardly wait for Aunt Annie to go off to work. I was in a fever. All night I’d been thinking about bondage and what was awaiting me in the morning when I got up. I couldn’t help it, it had grabbed me, I was so eager, it was as if I’d just fallen in love. Crazy thoughts just poured around in my head. I silently thanked God that my cousin had caught me looking at 'the girl with no name'. By myself, I’d never have dared in my life to talk to Dorothea about my secret longings. I still thought it incredible the way this discovery of my desire for bondage had just happened.
After Aunt Annie had left and we’d washed the breakfast dishes, we went immediately to grandfather's workshop. The cross greeted me, cold and cruel. I stripped myself naked without turning a hair, it was just like changing my clothes - there was no longer any shame in me, I just did it. It was a necessary part, you don’t go to the cross in clothes, even a bikini would have been inappropriate. Being naked was essential, having to stand naked, it was really good for me. For tennis you put on your tennis dress, for swimming you pull on a swimsuit or bikini, for crucifixion you strip off all your clothes. I put my kit aside and went to the cross. I touched the smooth wood with my hand. It felt cool, but not cold. It would soon take some of my body-heat. As I lay down on the upright and moved my body into position, I thought briefly of a cross of iron. Phew! That would be cold - freezing cold. No, that's not for me.
Dorothea bound my wrists with the rope, knotted them and tied me up."What a lot of work there always is with these cords," she said, smiling down at me while she tightened her knots, "This is coming to an end, Lisette." I was shocked, an end ?! Didn't she want to tie me up me any longer? Oh, please no! This couldn’t be! I wanted the cross! I wanted to test it, savour it to the bitter end, hang there for hours, suffering. My cousin had read my thoughts, she went on, "No, not what you think, Lisette. I’ve invested a portion of my pocket money and ordered a bunch of stuff on the internet. Tomorrow the package should be here." She went to my feet and started tying my ankles with twists of the rope. "I’ve ordered leather bondage cuffs, they’re better than cords, easier to handle and you'll be able to bear it easier for longer sessions. The leather will fit round your joints, like pulling on a pair of boots. After a while, they’ll fit like a glove." She tied a knot and looked me in the eyes, "Then we can intensify your training, Lisette! For an hour and a half, and then two. Who knows how far you'll go. Anyway, I'm curious, how many hours you’ll be able to stand up to it, by the end of the holidays"
She leaned over me and stroked my cheek, "I mean, real suffering, Lisette. Not just yet, but maybe one day you’ll say, okay, I'll do four hours today on the cross, Dorothea, just leave me don’t let me come down - and then you'll torture yourself through those four hours of suffering and you’ll cope with it to the end and even want more. That would show real stamina! Only when you want four hours a day, again and again, will it be really good. Do you understand what I mean?" I nodded. My heart was pounding hard against my ribs as I lay naked and stretched on the cross. Doro’s words excited me tremendously. Four hours! Four! Would I ever make it? I didn’t know. Would I give up in two hours? In three? How far would I make it? I had no idea, but I had to make it real, I had to get answers to my questions.
Dorothea went to the pulley and hauled up. I closed my eyes and gave myself up entirely. One hour. That would be long. Sixty minutes. But hadn’t I held out yesterday for three-quarters of an hour? There had been a crisis, but I got over it. I'd do it today. While Doro secured the cross upright, I kept my eyes closed, concentrating fully on my crucifixion. I was suspended by my wrists, I was bound, I was helpless, defenceless. I couldn’t get away by my own effort. The helplessness excited me beyond measure, I had to endure, whether I liked it or not. Even if it was unbearable, I had to endure it. The very idea made my heart beat violently. It must be endured – I have to endure it, no way out.
I opened my eyes. Dorothea was standing below looking up at me, she was gazing at me, what she saw pleased her. "You look beautiful, Lisette," she said. "You would not believe how pretty you are when you're naked and tied up. You look like a living work of art, as if the work of a famous painter has suddenly come to life. You’re lovely already, but when you're really experiencing it, you seem even more beautiful, when you submit yourself to the cross. Yesterday I watched you, Lisette, you should have seen yourself, enduring the cross." Enduring the cross, oh, what an expression. My breathing grew faster, so did my heartbeat.
"I could photograph you." Dorothea spoke from the floor up to me, she had to look up to me. She was free, she had power over me, but I was raised up, I stood over her, she had to look up to me. "But a photo is no good,"my cousin continued. She shook her head, "A photo like your 'girl with no name' on your computer comes by chance once in a hundred years. If I snap you with my digital camera, you’ll just be a naked girl in bondage. Very enjoyable, yes, but nothing more." Dorothea's eyes glazed over, "I can’t, Lisette .... It would desecrate everything – I, really ... you .... on the cross you are taboo! Lisette, you’re set above everything, you're like a saint, a young goddess that no-one may touch on the cross – I mustn’t even touch you with the sensor of a digital camera, I can only look at you with my eyes, only with my eyes may I touch you. I tie you up, Lisette - and when you get down you’ll feel the floor, and maybe a leather strap, or a wooden spoon, but on the cross you are taboo, on the cross you are yourself." She stood before me and contemplated me. It was a strange feeling, being watched by my own cousin in this way. I was naked and tied up. But as long as it was only Dorothea ....
Last edited: