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The Olympic Crux

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Hondoboot2 said:
I know it was all of the athletes, I was just feeling sorry for Barb:D
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He is biased and I think he has money on this...
Tree sits on his deck and lights up a smoke after dropping the stylus on the LP...

Well, I've never been to Spain
But I kinda like the music
Say the ladies are insane there
And they sure know how to use it

They don't abuse it
Never gonna lose it
I can't refuse it

Well, I've never been to England
But I kinda like the Beatles
Well, I headed for Las Vegas
Only made it out to Needles

Can you feel it?
Must be near it
Feels so good
Oh, it feels so good

Well, I've never been to heaven
But I've been to Oklahoma
Oh, they tell me I was born there
But I really don't remember

In Oklahoma, not Arizona
What does it matter?
What does it matter?

Oh, I've never been to Spain
But I kinda like the music
Say the ladies are insane there
And they sure know how to use it

They don't abuse it
Never gonna lose it
I can't refuse it, oh, oh

Well, I've never been to heaven
But I've been to Oklahoma
Well, they tell me I was born there
But I really don't remember

In Oklahoma, not Arizona
What does it matter?
What does it matter?

Tree sleeps.

Good night all.

Just remember there are nuts to the left of us and nuts to right

I'm stuck in the middle with you...

jurist prelude.jpg

Love the one you are with

T
 
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thehangingtree said:
Around the world the 150 athletes would be crucified at the same time to insure there could be no possible way a report from one qualifier location to one in another time zone how the others were doing. All athletes were given a meal of the same calorie count though the meals varied from location to location followed by a liter of water. Let us pick up with one contestant…

I just finished my ‘meal’ of bland beans and downed the bottle of water when a pair of matrons came for me. They cuff my wrists behind my back and blindfold me with a thick black cross.

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They led my down corridors that were cool and smooth until they stop me and someone says “What is your name?”

“I am Barbara Moore” I reply. I heard the rustling of paper then felt strong male hands clamp around my biceps. Ahead of me I heard a ‘whoosh’ that sounded like the doors in ‘Star Trek’. The men escorting me stop and the whoosh was behind me. I was aware the air and floor were warmer. Another ‘whoosh’ and I was pushed forward. Damn it became outright hot!!!

I was hustled along then suddenly lifted from the floor and perched on a round stool. The handcuffs were removed then I was turned around. Moments later my wrists were locked into restrains the hold my arms spread wide and my hands a bit above my ear-level. My left foot was lifted and strapped into leather followed by my right foot on top of it and just that quickly I hang crucified. A buzzer goes off as the blindfold is jerked from my head. As my eyes acclimate to the bright lights I see one of the men wipe his brow while the other scoops up the stool I stood on moments ago. As they leave one of them snares “Let the games begin!” and they walk out leaving me crucified and surrounded by four curtains.

This is all so disorienting. There is the constant drone of white noise so even if someone is crucified on the other side of the curtain I couldn’t hear her unless she screamed at the top of her lungs. No one does. Already I am sweating profusely. My stomach churns and cramps and why is my loins on fire???

If Tree may interject here… The goal of the qualifiers is to place the women for 2024 Olympic Crux Game. By design it is to force capitulation relatively quickly. However the event is not without peril. Once crucified in the qualifier there is no backing out the Olympics a month later. Also the athletes know they must last at least two hours before giving up. This is done to prevent some for trying to qualify for a field level crux position to avoid the last hill climb the higher seeds must drag their crosses up. The problem is none of the athletes have any reference to time.

Oh and Barb’s cramps and hot loins? All the athletes’ last liter of water was laced with a mild laxative and Joan Tree’s Horny Potion…

The air is so hot and dry it feels like it is searing my lungs. I have a bigger and more immediate problem! I have to purge my bowels! I push my hips to one side of the stipe. I wonder if there a cameras behind me.

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-Barb

Tree
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More importantly I wonder if there is a bucket under me! Ewwwwwwwwww!
 
“I am Barbara Moore” I reply. I heard the rustling of paper then felt strong male hands clamp around my biceps. Ahead of me I heard a ‘whoosh’ that sounded like the doors in ‘Star Trek’. The men escorting me stop and the whoosh was behind me. I was aware the air and floor were warmer. Another ‘whoosh’ and I was pushed forward. Damn it became outright hot!!!

I thought the sound of the Star Trek doors was a clever touch! Nice post tonight Tree! :beer:
 
Thessela said:
Oh Jolly!
Sorry, but you looked so funny bending over like that!
I saw a new side of you :rolleyes:
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Only fair, I suppose. :oops::rolleyes::D

Thessela said:
Oh Jolly, I feel a bit funny inside!
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thehangingtree said:
...the athletes must last two hours in the qualifiers but the penalty was not explained. For every minute or part of one before the two hours limit occurs the athlete will have to serve two minutes after she capitulates in the Olympics with no concern of how badly she needs to be removed from the cross...

Thessela had braided her hair and bound it in a bun not knowing that her qualifying trial was about to begin...The only thing that runs through her mind is Jollyrei’s training mantra “If you give up I will beat you like a rented mule”. She really doesn’t understand what the line means but he was stern when he said it. A few IOC judges walk into the curtained compound and ask Thessela if she wants to give up. Truly she does but shakes her head no groaning “I am a slave; I have no choice.”
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Did I really say that? "beat you like a rented mule"? :confused::eek: Well, a bit of tough love is needed, I suppose, although even I'm not sure what I meant.

You're doing great, Thess. All that desert training is paying off. Hang in there (literally). :devil:
You can do it! Don't let those IOC people get to you. We want a nice clean event without penalties.
As to feeling "funny", I suppose you just have to do what comes naturally :p:oops::eek:. That's not what I mean by a "clean" event anyway. A crux event is not a simple 100m sprint, after all.

And you look smashing up there, all sweaty and stretched out. :very_hot:
I wonder if we get extra points for artistic merit. :confused::devil:
You can do this! :bdsm-heart::clapping:

(What does "rented mule" even mean? :confused::doh:)
 
Jollyrei said:
Only fair, I suppose. :oops::rolleyes::D




Did I really say that? "beat you like a rented mule"? :confused::eek: Well, a bit of tough love is needed, I suppose, although even I'm not sure what I meant.



(What does "rented mule" even mean? :confused::doh:)
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"Beat you like a rented mule" refers to not taking care of something that is not yours...

...sort of like how Barb and Siss treat the cars they 'borrow' from Tree...
1 A M.jpg
 
thehangingtree said:
"Beat you like a rented mule" refers to not taking care of something that is not yours...

...sort of like how Barb and Siss treat the cars they 'borrow' from Tree...
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tumblr_o5gr52tMA41uswp8qo1_250.gif Hey!!!! I already took my "mule beating" for the last time I borrowed the "Stang". You are not supposed to bring it up anymore!
 
Even Tree is impressed with the qualifiers. The change in lighting and duration of it was most disorienting. That coupled with constant heat, white noise, and the isolation left the athletes time to ponder their pain and let their thoughts drift. In Paris Messaline hoped the heat wouldn’t ruin her make-up.

crux pose 174.jpg

In another curtained pod in the same sweltering warehouse the young Sister Mary Martyr wondered what penance she would have to do for cursing the drone and if she capitulated without a high qualifying seed.

crux pose 142.jpg

But the atmosphere of the qualifiers was taking its toll as the first athlete tearfully gave up seven hours in.

crux 014.jpg

She begged not only to be taken from the cross but to be dropped from the Olympics. She would get the former but not the latter.

Tree
 
thehangingtree said:
Even Tree is impressed with the qualifiers. The change in lighting and duration of it was most disorienting. That coupled with constant heat, white noise, and the isolation left the athletes time to ponder their pain and let their thoughts drift. In Paris Messaline hoped the heat wouldn’t ruin her make-up.

View attachment 384237

In another curtained pod in the same sweltering warehouse the young Sister Mary Martyr wondered what penance she would have to do for cursing the drone and if she capitulated without a high qualifying seed.

View attachment 384236

But the atmosphere of the qualifiers was taking its toll as the first athlete tearfully gave up seven hours in.

View attachment 384235

She begged not only to be taken from the cross but to be dropped from the Olympics. She would get the former but not the latter.

Tree
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The competition is stiff (and sore and sweaty too) ;)
 
Jollyrei said:
REUTERS/AP - It has just been announced that Jollyrei, the Canadian trainer for Barb's bid to be the top USA contender in the Olympic Crucifixion event, has suddenly resigned from the international training team and has taken on the position of trainer for a slave girl named Thessela. Jollyrei cited irreconcileable differences with the training strategy introduced recently by Ms. Joan Tree, who stunned the sporting world when she took over Barb's training strategy. Jollyrei had a few things to say about this, but they are unfortunately unprintable. We will have more as this story develops...

I, for one, have had enough of Joan Tree's commandeering of Barb's training regimen. I didn't work to become the foremost (and possibly only) Canadian Crux trainer just so that she could come and work out her issues with Barb. Meanwhile there are other athletes who could potentially benefit from my input, and I could get turned on get a sense of accomplishment from training someone more personally. In this context, I am resigning my position as trainer for Barb's team.

Thessela has had her application in for a while, but is only getting the most basic of training, as a slave who has no choice. Well, she may have no choice, but I do. In this regard, I am picking up Thessela's option (she may not have choices, but she doesn't come cheap either), and will enter her as the Canadian athlete. I do this because 1) she has not plausibly denied having a Canadian grandmother who would qualify her to be crucified for Canada; and 2) being as she's now my slavegirl to train, that makes her pretty much the Canadian entry.

It's not going to be easy, I know. Compared to Porzia (Germany/Italy) and Barb (USA-International), she's a fair bit behind on her training with the seeding competition coming up. Time to get to work.
I know you can do it, Thessela! You know you have to do it. If that's not serendipity, I don't know what that is. :oops::cool:

First off, our training will deal with Thessela's shyness in public, as well as building leg strength. A bit of hiking along gravel paths, frequented by groups of tourists will provide that authentic feeling of exposure in front of crowds.
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We also need to make sure she can manage that cross carry through the stadium, so she practices with real crosses over various types of terrain. She should be able to carry a cross on both gravel and grass pitches, making her one of the most versatile girls out there this Olympics.
View attachment 382083 View attachment 382084

Finally we have the issue of endurance. We need to make sure she's able to take the heat. Rumour has it that the stadium in LA can be quite hot. But we have that covered. I'm making sure that Thessela has lots of practice taking the heat.
View attachment 382085

And just to make sure, and for that authentically Canadian experience, it never hurts to make sure she has the stamina and conditioning to be crucified in any and all severe climate conditions. With climate change upon us, you just never know.
View attachment 382086

So, it is with some wistfulness that I say farewell to my colleagues, Sir Wragg, Mr. Hondoboot, and Mr. Phlebas. It was great working with you gentlemen, but I believe Thessela can compete and, with a bit of training, I think she can win.:cool: I'm up for the challenge, and I simply can't work with Joan.:eek::mad: (And if any of you guys want to get away from her, Tash needs a traininer as well, I think.) ;)

View attachment 382087 Are you sure you know what you're doing? - Thessela

Of course. I am completely professional and on the case. You'll be great. Fantastic! Hot! Now, back to your endurance training. We have an event to win! :devil:

View attachment 382088 I guess I really have no choice at this point.

That's the spirit!:cool:
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I say, Jolly, old bean, that's a bit steep, what? :eek:

One nips off for a little break and the bounder slopes off with Thessela. :doh: Bad show :mad:
 
Wragg134 said:
I say, Jolly, old bean, that's a bit steep, what? :eek:

One nips off for a little break and the bounder slopes off with Thessela. :doh: Bad show :mad:
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She did ask nicely. :oops::devil:
I see you've almost caught up now. :D Well done.

Thessela said:
I have to try hard - for Jolly and Canada!
Uhhh!
Huff!
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Very patriotic. :):cool:
Speaking of which, surely the qualifying period is over by now. :confused:
 
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