Hondoboot2
QUAESTOR PULCHRITUDINIS
I know it was all of the athletes, I was just feeling sorry for BarbIt wasn't just Barb!!! All the athletes got the same treatment!!!
I know it was all of the athletes, I was just feeling sorry for BarbIt wasn't just Barb!!! All the athletes got the same treatment!!!
He is biased and I think he has money on this...I know it was all of the athletes, I was just feeling sorry for Barb
Me, have money on the outcome, why that is preposterous, that would be against the IOC rules. I would never tempt the wrath of the IOCHe is biased and I think he has money on this...
...right... as I said... 'Good night'Me, have money on the outcome, why that is preposterous, that would be against the IOC rules. I would never tempt the wrath of the IOC
No, I am just biased in favor of Barb
More importantly I wonder if there is a bucket under me! Ewwwwwwwwww!Around the world the 150 athletes would be crucified at the same time to insure there could be no possible way a report from one qualifier location to one in another time zone how the others were doing. All athletes were given a meal of the same calorie count though the meals varied from location to location followed by a liter of water. Let us pick up with one contestant…
I just finished my ‘meal’ of bland beans and downed the bottle of water when a pair of matrons came for me. They cuff my wrists behind my back and blindfold me with a thick black cross.
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They led my down corridors that were cool and smooth until they stop me and someone says “What is your name?”
“I am Barbara Moore” I reply. I heard the rustling of paper then felt strong male hands clamp around my biceps. Ahead of me I heard a ‘whoosh’ that sounded like the doors in ‘Star Trek’. The men escorting me stop and the whoosh was behind me. I was aware the air and floor were warmer. Another ‘whoosh’ and I was pushed forward. Damn it became outright hot!!!
I was hustled along then suddenly lifted from the floor and perched on a round stool. The handcuffs were removed then I was turned around. Moments later my wrists were locked into restrains the hold my arms spread wide and my hands a bit above my ear-level. My left foot was lifted and strapped into leather followed by my right foot on top of it and just that quickly I hang crucified. A buzzer goes off as the blindfold is jerked from my head. As my eyes acclimate to the bright lights I see one of the men wipe his brow while the other scoops up the stool I stood on moments ago. As they leave one of them snares “Let the games begin!” and they walk out leaving me crucified and surrounded by four curtains.
This is all so disorienting. There is the constant drone of white noise so even if someone is crucified on the other side of the curtain I couldn’t hear her unless she screamed at the top of her lungs. No one does. Already I am sweating profusely. My stomach churns and cramps and why is my loins on fire???
If Tree may interject here… The goal of the qualifiers is to place the women for 2024 Olympic Crux Game. By design it is to force capitulation relatively quickly. However the event is not without peril. Once crucified in the qualifier there is no backing out the Olympics a month later. Also the athletes know they must last at least two hours before giving up. This is done to prevent some for trying to qualify for a field level crux position to avoid the last hill climb the higher seeds must drag their crosses up. The problem is none of the athletes have any reference to time.
Oh and Barb’s cramps and hot loins? All the athletes’ last liter of water was laced with a mild laxative and Joan Tree’s Horny Potion…
The air is so hot and dry it feels like it is searing my lungs. I have a bigger and more immediate problem! I have to purge my bowels! I push my hips to one side of the stipe. I wonder if there a cameras behind me.
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-Barb
Tree
I certainly hope so, I am watching at the pub, having some fish and chips with my brew. I don't even want to think otherwiseMore importantly I wonder if there is a bucket under me! Ewwwwwwwwww!
Oh Jolly!
Sorry, but you looked so funny bending over like that!
I saw a new side of you
Oh Jolly, I feel a bit funny inside!
...the athletes must last two hours in the qualifiers but the penalty was not explained. For every minute or part of one before the two hours limit occurs the athlete will have to serve two minutes after she capitulates in the Olympics with no concern of how badly she needs to be removed from the cross...
Thessela had braided her hair and bound it in a bun not knowing that her qualifying trial was about to begin...The only thing that runs through her mind is Jollyrei’s training mantra “If you give up I will beat you like a rented mule”. She really doesn’t understand what the line means but he was stern when he said it. A few IOC judges walk into the curtained compound and ask Thessela if she wants to give up. Truly she does but shakes her head no groaning “I am a slave; I have no choice.”
Only fair, I suppose.
Did I really say that? "beat you like a rented mule"? Well, a bit of tough love is needed, I suppose, although even I'm not sure what I meant.
(What does "rented mule" even mean? )
"Beat you like a rented mule" refers to not taking care of something that is not yours...
...sort of like how Barb and Siss treat the cars they 'borrow' from Tree...
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Yeah, but it's a great story. Tell it again.View attachment 384179 Hey!!!! I already took my "mule beating" for the last time I borrowed the "Stang". You are not supposed to bring it up anymore!
Oh dear. Good luck.I left this at page 15...now it's on page 32. I'll have to see what I can pick up....
Even Tree is impressed with the qualifiers. The change in lighting and duration of it was most disorienting. That coupled with constant heat, white noise, and the isolation left the athletes time to ponder their pain and let their thoughts drift. In Paris Messaline hoped the heat wouldn’t ruin her make-up.
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In another curtained pod in the same sweltering warehouse the young Sister Mary Martyr wondered what penance she would have to do for cursing the drone and if she capitulated without a high qualifying seed.
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But the atmosphere of the qualifiers was taking its toll as the first athlete tearfully gave up seven hours in.
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She begged not only to be taken from the cross but to be dropped from the Olympics. She would get the former but not the latter.
Tree
REUTERS/AP - It has just been announced that Jollyrei, the Canadian trainer for Barb's bid to be the top USA contender in the Olympic Crucifixion event, has suddenly resigned from the international training team and has taken on the position of trainer for a slave girl named Thessela. Jollyrei cited irreconcileable differences with the training strategy introduced recently by Ms. Joan Tree, who stunned the sporting world when she took over Barb's training strategy. Jollyrei had a few things to say about this, but they are unfortunately unprintable. We will have more as this story develops...
I, for one, have had enough of Joan Tree's commandeering of Barb's training regimen. I didn't work to become the foremost (and possibly only) Canadian Crux trainer just so that she could come and work out her issues with Barb. Meanwhile there are other athletes who could potentially benefit from my input, and I couldget turned onget a sense of accomplishment from training someone more personally. In this context, I am resigning my position as trainer for Barb's team.
Thessela has had her application in for a while, but is only getting the most basic of training, as a slave who has no choice. Well, she may have no choice, but I do. In this regard, I am picking up Thessela's option (she may not have choices, but she doesn't come cheap either), and will enter her as the Canadian athlete. I do this because 1) she has not plausibly denied having a Canadian grandmother who would qualify her to be crucified for Canada; and 2) being as she's now my slavegirl to train, that makes her pretty much the Canadian entry.
It's not going to be easy, I know. Compared to Porzia (Germany/Italy) and Barb (USA-International), she's a fair bit behind on her training with the seeding competition coming up. Time to get to work.
I know you can do it, Thessela! You know you have to do it. If that's not serendipity, I don't know what that is.
First off, our training will deal with Thessela's shyness in public, as well as building leg strength. A bit of hiking along gravel paths, frequented by groups of tourists will provide that authentic feeling of exposure in front of crowds.
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We also need to make sure she can manage that cross carry through the stadium, so she practices with real crosses over various types of terrain. She should be able to carry a cross on both gravel and grass pitches, making her one of the most versatile girls out there this Olympics.
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Finally we have the issue of endurance. We need to make sure she's able to take the heat. Rumour has it that the stadium in LA can be quite hot. But we have that covered. I'm making sure that Thessela has lots of practice taking the heat.
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And just to make sure, and for that authentically Canadian experience, it never hurts to make sure she has the stamina and conditioning to be crucified in any and all severe climate conditions. With climate change upon us, you just never know.
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So, it is with some wistfulness that I say farewell to my colleagues, Sir Wragg, Mr. Hondoboot, and Mr. Phlebas. It was great working with you gentlemen, but I believe Thessela can compete and, with a bit of training, I think she can win. I'm up for the challenge, and I simply can't work with Joan. (And if any of you guys want to get away from her, Tash needs a traininer as well, I think.)
View attachment 382087 Are you sure you know what you're doing? - Thessela
Of course. I am completely professional and on the case. You'll be great. Fantastic! Hot! Now, back to your endurance training. We have an event to win!
View attachment 382088 I guess I really have no choice at this point.
That's the spirit!
She did ask nicely.I say, Jolly, old bean, that's a bit steep, what?
One nips off for a little break and the bounder slopes off with Thessela. Bad show
Very patriotic.I have to try hard - for Jolly and Canada!
Uhhh!
Huff!
I see you've almost caught up now. Well done.