Perhaps I am insane?
“Perhaps I am insane. Maybe I should take papa’s advice and have myself committed, allow the shrinks to reprogramme me. Allow them to try and change me into the little upper-class Miss he thinks I should be.”
Claire looked out as the sun set, in golden splendour, over Albert Park. This evening was decision time. In just a few hours she would have to commit herself to her dreams. Either that, or she would have to inform Madame Suzanne that she had changed her mind, and wanted to go back to the pointless life of privilege she so hated.
“Am I really brave enough to do it? To give up everything, cars, clothes, luxuries, wealth, in order to pursue a dream that I have had ever since I can remember. All I have to do is ring the bell, ask for some clothes, and tell madame Suzanne that I have changed my mind. She will understand. That is why she has allowed me to spend the last few days here as her guest, in this lovely room, instead of being up in the kennels with the ‘flesh’.”
Claire’s dream had divided her family. Her father thought she was insane, and had hired an expensive psychiatrist to identify the source of her mental illness. Her mother, interestingly, had been much more sympathetic. “I know it sounds insane, my dear,” she had patiently explained to her husband at the heated family meeting. “And I know that many of our friends and relatives will be deeply shocked, but then, our family does have a history of, shall we say, adventurous behaviour. After all, my great-great-great grandfather, perhaps a few more greats, was a close friend of Sir Francis Dashwood, and a founder of the Hellfire Club. Not to mention your ancestor who was a notorious rake and a confidante of Prinny and his set! This is the twenty-first century, and if Claire wants to follow an alternative, if somewhat unusual lifestyle, that is her choice.” Claire’s brothers had been silent, although George, the younger, had given her a surreptitious wink.
Later, as they walked through the gardens together, her mother had suggested a compromise. “You needn’t go the whole hog. Don’t ever tell your father, but I have several friends who are members of a community that shares your fantasy. They have regular parties, and many of the women play at being slaves, sometimes for a weekend, or even longer. I tried to get your father involved, but, well, you know how conservative he is.” Claire’s eyes widened. This was a facet of her mother she had never expected. “Mom! You mean you would have played along? Been a slave? Okay, part time, but?” Her mother nodded. “I would have, but your father…can you imagine?” They walked in silence for a while. “Claire! Is this really what you want? It’s not just some teenage whim?”
“Mom, ever since I was little, I’ve wanted nothing else.” Her mother nodded. “I have a friend. We were at school together, well,” she smiled at Claire, “we had a bit of a schoolgirl fling, perhaps more than a fling. We’ve kept in touch. She is… she is a dealer. She trades in people like you want to be. She calls them ‘Flesh’. If you wish, if you really want to do this, I can introduce you.”
Claire looked out over the park. A couple were walking, hand in hand, their heads close together. They stopped, kissed, a long, passionate kiss, his hands roaming down her back, cupping her buttocks, their bodies moulded together as one. “That could be me,” Claire thought, “with some good man. But it’s not what I want! I want to be his property, flesh, bought and paid for. Owned!” She watched them for a while. “If I do this,” she mused, I’ll be a slave until I’m forty, perhaps fifty. Two, perhaps three decades of slavery.” She thought back to the previous evening’s dinner. Madame Suzanne had invited several friends, and Claire, who was considered to be a guest, even though she was a candidate to be a slave. All were formally dressed, the ladies in beautiful gowns, the gentlemen in dinner jackets, or in the case of two of them, in uniform. Claire wore a beautifully made gown of sheer silk, it fitted her perfectly, and hid absolutely nothing.
Madame Suzanne explained her presence to the other guests. “Claire is here to see the life of a slave at first hand. She has indicated that she wishes to sell herself as property.” The guests, male and female, examined her, their eyes stripping away the silk, estimating her worth, and her potential as a sex slave. “She has to make her decision by dinner tomorrow. If she decides, as I think she will, in favour of slavery, she will immediately commence her two-month training programme, prior to being sold.” Claire’s neighbour at the table, a handsome, obviously wealthy man in his fifties, took his time examining Claire’s beautifully displayed charms. “I hope that her training will follow the standard pattern, and that I shall have the pleasure of broadening her experience at ‘The Hunt’.” He turned to Claire, “I remember your mother expressing an interest, many years ago, when I was at school with your father, and my father was Master of the Hunt.” Madame Suzanne smiled, “We were very adventurous then, weren’t we? Sadly, she was not brave enough to follow her desires. I enjoyed my time at The Hunt, although many did not. I send all my trainees there. It is a good way to impress upon them that their status in life has changed, irrevocably.” She touched Claire’s hand, “I am sure you will agree with me after your stay there.”
“Freedom, or slavery?” Claire mused.
“Freedom to be a privileged young woman, to enjoy my life, to find a man, get married, have children. Freedom to do almost anything I wish. Almost! Freedom to be whatever I want to be, except what I really want to be. An object, a chattel, a sex toy, a slave!” She started removing the flimsy silk garment. “Slavery! Freedom from choice! Freedom from responsibility! Freedom from guilt! Freedom to be myself! Free only to serve, to obey, to be owned!”
Naked, she stood, looked at herself in the mirror. “Flesh! Prime flesh!” She smiled at her reflection. “I wonder if mom will be jealous when she hears that I have been to The Hunt, that I have done what she wanted to do, but wasn’t free to do.” She smiled at the naked slave in the mirror. “Perhaps she will find the freedom now. Wouldn’t that be fun?”
She opened the door, stepped into the corridor, took a last look at the comfortable room, and walked determinedly to Madame Suzanne’s study. She had made her decision. She would be sleeping in the kennels tonight, sharing the narrow, uncomfortable bed with another slave.
Free to be a slave!